If you want some career advice, this is the episode for you!
While the topic of this show will be particularly relevant for younger listeners, listeners of all ages can relate to struggling with maintaining a positive attitude and hopeful prospects about the future. This episode was inspired by a young friend of mine who has just finished schooling and is looking to embark on a career, but feeling stressed about the opportunities, challenges, financial stresses-loans—the usual suspects.
A relatable issue for most people, and more than ever these days as the younger generation faces much difficulty with landing jobs and other challenging external issues (such as the rising cost of living in urban areas and housing prices). It can be immensely challenging to find time to even enjoy your free time when you have a life burden like this hanging over your head, and when is it going to change? Not likely anytime soon, so in this episode, I offer three pieces of advice I shared with my friend for acting most effectively during challenging times and for accomplishing your career goals.
You will learn how to “be like a machine,” what it means to pursue your inspired purpose, the one question to ask yourself any time you experience anxiety, stress, or fear, my thoughts on asking others for help, and more advice to help you navigate your pursuit of your goals.
TIMESTAMPS:
It is difficult these days for young people to find their way in a career path. [00:49]
It is hard to maintain a positive attitude and focus at this time in your young life. You have to be like a machine. [02:50]
Learn to deal with setbacks and misfortunes that will come your way and keep going. Pursue your inspired purpose. [10:16]
Look at your progress as stepping stones. [15:22]
Sometimes your inspired purpose does not bring financial success. [20:58]
Ask yourself what should I be doing right now? When you experience fear and anxiety, redirect your focus to your values. [28:05]
If you tend to carry around your worries, fears and anxieties, instead of enjoying your life, realize that this is a game you play with yourself so you can save face. [32:42]
Reach out for help in a polite and considerate way and make sure you have something to offer. [35:55]
LINKS:
- Brad Kearns.com
- Brad’s Shopping page
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- Podcast with Demartini
- Podcast with Dave Rossi
- Way of the Peaceful Warrior
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TRANSCRIPT:
Brad (00:00):
Welcome to the B.rad podcast, where we explore ways to pursue peak performance with passion throughout life without taking ourselves too seriously. I’m Brad Kearns, New York Times bestselling author, former number three world-ranked professional triathlete and Guinness World Record Masters athlete. I connect with experts in diet, fitness, and personal growth, and deliver short breather shows where you get simple, actionable tips to improve your life right away. Let’s explore beyond the hype, hacks, shortcuts, and sciencey talk to laugh, have fun and appreciate the journey. It’s time to B.rad.
Brad (00:38):
It’s kind of painful sometimes to sit back and realize, gee, it seems like my teenager is going to have to learn a, a lot of life lessons the hard way. Instead of
Brad (00:49):
Advice for young career aspirants and maybe older career aspirants to this show was inspired by a lengthy conversation I had with a young friend of mine who just finished their extensive schooling and is now time to embark upon a wonderful, fulfilling career. And as you might guess, my friend was feeling stressed about the opportunities, the challenges, the difficulty finding a job, the financial stresses that happen when you hit the street after a long period of time getting an advanced education and those loans that are looming, the usual suspects that we’ve all endured on our path through life, and especially career. But I am hearing, uh, a lot of commentary from, uh, the younger generation complaining about how it is perhaps even more difficult to, uh, land good jobs and make ends meet. It seems to me, uh, at first glance that with the, uh, the digital technology and the ability to connect across the globe instantly, that it might be easier to find jobs.
Brad (01:58):
But, I’ve been reeducated as to how now there’s a hundred resumes in the pile for every decent job because so many people can pounce. So it’s a compelling, uh, argument where I would probably reflect and say, you know what? It hasn’t been easy, uh, anytime or any generation when you’re out there for the first time hitting the street. And, uh, one thing that’s really glaring these days is the disparity in, um, cost of living from old times where maybe you had a better chance at making ends meet. We’re talking about in the major urban areas. We can look at statistics like housing prices to income and realize that, uh, during the eighties and the nineties, it was typically around three to four x. So the typical salary you could afford a house that costs four times as much as your annual salary.
Brad (02:50):
So let’s say someone starting out in the eighties and nineties, my first, uh, starting salary at the world’s largest accounting firm. So it was a prestigious position that I landed in 1986 for the lucrative starting salary of $20,000 a year. Now we have to go back to those days and see if, um, there would be a, a house to afford. That was three to four times that salary, not that I recall, in Los Angeles. Uh, so things get really tough in the popular urban areas. And today, it’s at least six times annual salary for the average annual starting salary, or not starting salary, but any salary and cost of living in typical communities and in the major urban areas. It’s much worse in Los Angeles leading the nation in this distressing statistic where the average home price is 12 and a half times the average annual salary.
Brad (03:45):
San Jose Long Beach and San Diego are also tops in the nation right behind Los Angeles, looking at 10 x. So someone who earns a hundred thousand dollars salary, which by and large <laugh> throughout history has seemed to be, uh, quite a, a good established, a person in the, uh, in the economy, uh, is now looking at a million dollar home price average in those communities, and even more in Los Angeles. So that’s pretty rough. And if you do the pencil, pencil it out, um, someone wants to buy even a starter home in the Los Angeles area, we’re talking about needing, requiring a very lucrative starting salary, and that’s, that’s kind of a tough go. Um, and it becomes looming and difficult to enjoy one’s free time when you have these major questions hanging over your head and you’re just trying to get started.
Brad (04:39):
And you’ve had a wonderful education and feel empowered and prepared to contribute to the economy. But we have these logistics and things that could turn you a little south. So, um, I think why I said it, it might, uh, this, this show might apply not just to young career aspirants, but everyone is that I think we all struggle with our mindset and our ability to maintain a positive attitude and hopeful prospects about the future. So I organize some of my favorite tips and inspiration that I’ve had from important people in my life and wanna make a concise show here and share some of the things I related to my young friend. And the first thing that came to mind when we were conversing is I said, look, you gotta be a machine about this. You have to execute your mission with precision and focus, but you can’t allow any drama to come into the picture.
Brad (05:35):
You do not have to attach an emotional charge to what you’re doing. So a machine will sit down and submit 37 resumes without judging how dismal one’s prospects might be, because they also submitted 37 yesterday and the day before, you have to execute the plan. You have to go through the motions. And the more you can disengage from nervousness, anxiety, fear, negative self thoughts, uh, the easier and more successful the, the whole venture’s gonna be. So that’s the first one is to be a machine. This applies really beautifully, of course, in the athletic arena where the results are so dramatic and intense. And reflecting on my journey as a professional triathlete, I remember those times when my emotions got the better of me, and I’d go home with my tail between my legs because I had a bad race. And I’m sitting on the flight home wondering, what am I doing wasting my life while my closest friends are getting advanced degrees <laugh> and graduating from Harvard and Wharton and medical school and all the rest.
Brad (06:42):
And I just got whooped by some cocky young Australians and, you know, forced to reflect on my life every time I didn’t have a race result that was to my liking. And when you think about it, like, uh, as I told my friend, you don’t see Kobe Bryant or Michael Jordan moping and hanging their heads crying in a towel after they took the game, a potential game winning shot and missed. What the greatest athletes do is they do their best. So Michael puts up the final shot, the buzzer, Kobe puts up the final shot, it clanks off the rim, and they walk off the court, basically expressionless. And you can go look at videos. There’s a stat that, uh, in Michael Jordan’s career, uh, he was entrusted to take many, many potential game winning shots, buzzer, beaters, whatever you wanna call ’em.
Brad (07:33):
He missed 26 of them, and he made 28. So he was about a 50 50 guy, probably Chicago Bulls fans might have remember their great run and say, yeah, Michael made most of those game winners. He was amazing. He was unstoppable in the clutch. No, he was about 50 50 or or below 50 50. So, the idea here is to, to be a machine to execute, to do your very best and not get in your own way with those human frailties that maybe they’ll come out and leak out a little bit here and a little bit there, but not in and around, let’s say, a job interview where you have to exude, you know, tremendous confidence and self-belief. And I’m taking some notes here and remembering how <laugh> at my worst in my triathlon career. Boy, those disappointments would really hit home, and I’d have to do some soul searching and on and, and all that.
Brad (08:28):
But when I was able to, you know, progress and excel, it was getting up off the mat the next day and saying, okay, looks like I gotta improve my swim time because I got dropped by the big pack in the swim, and it cost me a position in the front of the race because I was so far behind after getting outta the water. So instead of crying about it, or whining or making an excuse, or what we often do is blame the circumstances, blame others. Oh my goodness. someone kicked me in the head at the start and my goggles fell off, so the water was blurry. None of that stuff is really, useful. It’s not going to help you do better next time. So, uh, you just redirect your focus to what can I do, what’s in my control to bring me back to being the very, very best I can be at the next opportunity.
Brad (09:19):
And boy, it’s tougher in sports than it is in a typical career path where your, your ascension is very, uh, very much more certain than it might be as an athlete. Uh, in other words, you don’t get fired, uh, a week after you have a great victory or a great promotion in the workplace. Not, not usually, maybe sometimes. So as we know from whatever spiritual practice you wanna name, absolutely nothing in life is secure. But when you’re in the career, uh, when you’re, when you’re, when you’re on the career ladder and you know, you’re put your time in as a medical resident for many years, working those long hours, you have pretty good assurance that you’re gonna have a nice, stable and lucrative career when you’re finished. So if I was able to do it as an athlete and keep my mindset together, boy, it was so tremendously helpful to everything else I faced since that time in actual traditional career path.
Brad (10:16):
So those setbacks and those misfortunes that will inevitably come are much more easily dealt with when you’ve had your feet to the fire and become battle-tested by something like the athletic arena. And if that’s not part of your personal experience, well, you can take inspiration from the message here is to, you know, work on your mindset and to execute like a machine rather than a frail insecure person. You gotta cover that up and go to town and throw down and throw out more resumes, book more interviews. Okay, that’s number one. You got it. You got it. Number two is to pursue your inspired purpose. And podcast listeners might appreciate that term that was coined by my wonderful frequent guest, Dr. John Demartini, multi-time bestselling author and brain training expert. And he’s really all about that peak performance mindset and believing in yourself and creating the world that you want.
Brad (11:16):
And so he defines one’s inspired purpose as follows, quote, what do you do spontaneously every day that requires no motivation and brings you joy and also contributes to the betterment of society. That is your inspired purpose, and it is your mission in life to pursue it no matter what. Again, Demartini stressing the importance of just completely rid yourself of this kind of commentary. I need to, I should to, I have to instead figure out your inspired purpose in order to become your authentic self. So you can you see the clear distinction between self-talk where you say, I need to, I should to, I have to, uh, as opposed to doing thing, doing things that you, uh, would do spontaneously every day that require no motivation, bring you joy and contribute to the betterment of society. I might have added that clause on the end, because if you, uh, are going to be a wise guy, an answer that what I like to do, my inspired purpose is to play video games and order pizza on DoorDash.
Brad (12:22):
That’s not really contributing to the betterment of society. So I kind of throw that in there as we’re looking at this question as it relates to our, uh, career path and a meaningful contribution to society. Now, you can easily get some, uh, pushback here when you’re thinking, gee, uh, wouldn’t that be nice if I could have my dream job like so very few people do. So it does not mean that anything short of your dream job is a bad idea or you’re a loser if you’re stuck in this position selling coffee at Starbucks when you really wanna be a clay sculptor. But what happens with, uh, Demartini’s extensive commentary when you listen to the show is you have to envision everything as a stepping stone and answer to this calling rather than get stuck in things that are not driving you forward to your inspired purpose.
Brad (13:16):
So, as it relates to parenting, there’s a term from another book, another expert saying that you want your kids to pursue their natural destiny. Do not interfere or orchestrate or shut down the natural destiny of a child. Some kids, when they’re really little, it’s pretty apparent that their natural destiny is the Olympic someday. So when little Simone Biles was doing flips <laugh>, when you turn your head and she’s two years old, doing a back flip off the couch, that’s a kid that might have a natural destiny to make it to the Olympics someday. And you might want to go down to your local, uh, neighborhood, uh, gym and sign up for lessons. And the same goes for the academic track. I often give my sister plugs on the show because she was a straight A student throughout life. Valedictorian of Yale University now is a family medicine physician with a long career in the medical world.
Brad (14:13):
And that was her natural destiny. It was pretty apparent even at a young age. And it was also apparent that, her brothers weren’t gonna follow that same natural destiny to be a runaway natural straight a student without anyone looking over her shoulder or pushing her or incentivizing her with $5 for an A, and all this nonsense that you hear in modern parenting who same with the athletic scene, where it’s a quite a common tendency for the parents to see their own offspring in a tremendously, um, positive light and perhaps a distorted light whereby they’re, uh, driving all over town or spending thousands of dollars a year to put them on the elite competitive travel teams. And thinking in the front of their mind, in the back of their mind, this is probably gonna lead to a college scholarship. ’cause my little guy or little gal is such a superstar and boy, you can, if you open your eyes wide, you can really see, um, what’s natural destiny and what’s being orchestrated or, manipulated when it comes to, uh, one’s, one’s path, uh, and letting your, your kid explore and figure out their own path.
Brad (15:22):
It’s kind of painful sometimes to sit back and realize, gee, it seems like my teenager is going to have to learn a lot of life lessons the hard way instead of the easy way, which is to listen to the wonderful advice and life perspective that a parent can dispense. But if it’s not working and you’re banging your head against the wall, sometimes it’s a tough go. You can’t control and orchestrate and manipulate everything, uh, even, even as a parent to a child. And you certainly, you know, try to do the best you can with your own path. And that’s where Demartini’s advice comes in to look at things as stepping stones, rather than just blindly trudge along and you’re working in the warehouse, you hate it, and 10 years later you’re still working in the same warehouse, rather than seeing opportunities and thinking about it and strategizing and plotting and educating yourself and your time off for the next leapfrog that you’re gonna make onto the next lily pad of your career path.
Brad (16:23):
Let me tell you my own personal example. When I graduated college, I had the accounting degree, and I landed that plum job for the big bucks with the world’s largest accounting firm. And after the, the first day of work, I very quickly realized, uh, and, and was horrified that I had made an absolutely terrible major life mistake. And it was not my natural destiny, it was not my inspired purpose to work in a big six accounting firm. And I looked around me to all the other folks in the orientation that lasted for several weeks when we started, and they were enamored learning all the great things about the firm and their generous 401k package. And I was sitting there going, gee, I really wish I was, uh, swimming, biking, and running training for triathlon like I did in my final years of college, because I was so captivated by the sport and the possibilities.
Brad (17:15):
So as it happened, I lasted only 11 and a half weeks at my wonderful job at the accounting firm before I announced my retirement and my intention to pursue my inspired purpose, which was to become a professional triathlete. And back in the mid eighties, there was not really a career path for an aspiring professional triathlete because the sport was very small, and the economic prospects were pretty dismal. There were some really top guys at the time, they called them the big four, and they were making a good living, uh, training full-time as professional triathletes, but most of the guys out there were lifeguards and pizza delivery boys in my case. And the financial opportunity was, um, was pretty dismal, but I didn’t let that stop me, because I knew I was compelled to pursue my inspired purpose. And a lot of times when you hear stories from people reflecting on, on similar trajectories, um, things have a way of working themselves out when you are honoring that and being your authentic self, as Demartini calls it.
Brad (18:24):
So, my authentic self at that time in my life was not a young guy wearing a suit and tie and driving an hour and 15 minutes in Los Angeles rush hour traffic to and from work each day. That’s an hour and 15 each way. People for two and a half total, not my game. My authentic self was to get out there and climb the mountains all day and run the trails and swim back and forth on the pool. And yes, I had to scramble. I had to hustle. I had to deliver pizzas at night when I’d rather be home resting after training all day. But, lo and behold, in my first year as a starving rookie professional triathlete I achieved what, uh, many people still regard as the greatest upset of all time on the professional triathlon circuit will probably never be equal because the sport is so sophisticated now.
Brad (19:12):
But I upset the two number one ranked guys in the world. One was do athlete, one was triathlete. So these guys were battling head to head for the first time. And I snuck by them, not snuck by, but actually was quite a ways ahead with this incredible breakthrough performance on the big stage. It was called the Desert Princess out in Palm Springs. So I went from absolute nobody to very quickly a prominent person, someone to contend with on the professional circuit. And this was clear that there was a career opportunity for me if I could break through and compete on that high level. The rest was not peaches and cream, cotton candy and bubble gum. So I had a lot of ups and downs in my career. But that breakthrough in my very first year was something that I, I, I like to share now because it kind of validated this idea that I could not remain at the accounting firm.
Brad (20:06):
I had to see this through and give it my absolute best without too much stress or anxiety or worry about the economic prospects. So again, like tip number one, be a machine. Here, I was a training machine, and I was enjoying it every step of the way. So I’m not saying being like a cold, heartless machine with no emotions, but regulate and control those emotions so that you can execute, uh, to your very best without getting in your own way. I was so focused and passionate about the process without attaching my self-esteem to the results. I’m not worrying about my income statement in those first few years as a professional triathlete. Pretty soon I was starting to, you know, you have to validate your career and punch your ticket every single year to stay on the circuit, right?
Brad (20:58):
So it does become a business. It becomes important. And I, that was something I had to navigate and, and figure out how to deal with the business aspect of being an athlete. But that first year was just absolute bliss of doing what I wanted to do every single day and pushing my body and, and seeing what the, the limits of my potential were and going entirely for the process and letting the results happen naturally, because my motivation was so pure. Okay, so there’s a success story of course. And I think the takeaway that I’d like you to have is that my ability to focus on the process and disengage the attachment of my self-esteem to the outcome was my superpower that enabled me to make it through, let’s say, something that was a pretty bumpy road or something that you could easily have second guessing and reflections that I was walking away from this really plumb job.
Brad (21:55):
And, you know, it was cool, was at my exit interview when I by surprise announced that I was retiring because the guy was too busy to see me for like two weeks. And so I finally said, I finally got on his calendar and I said, yeah, I was planning to quit. And he goes, oh, when the 27th? I go, oh, no, actually tomorrow, <laugh>. And he’s like, okay. And then as I was leaving, he says, you know, you always have a job here. You’re welcome back anytime. And I was so touched by that gesture. And then I shared that interaction with somebody and, uh, they responded, um, yeah, of course you have your job back because they spent several weeks training you and many thousands of dollars, and now you’re walking out on their cushy job.
Brad (22:36):
So I was like, oh, that’s why they’re offering my job back anytime. Okay. Okay, I get it. So that was a long time ago, but even today, I’d like to share with you that, I feel like my podcasting, my writing books, my sharing the message about healthy living is my inspired purpose, and the economic prospects are not always so simple and straightforward and directly attached to what I’m doing. So <laugh>, especially in the book game and in the podcasting game, let me assure you that these are not direct paths to wealth and riches <laugh>. And in fact, here’s some more stats. We talked about cost of living being 12 times average salary in Los Angeles. Forbes reports that 1% of all published books make a profit, only 1% and 90% of all published books sell fewer than 5,000 copies.
Brad (23:32):
So if, one, an author writes a book and it sells 5,000 copies, doesn’t make much if any money depending on the publishing scheme. But that is a smashing success and in the top, top 10% of all books. I think that especially, uh, in the arts, in the creative arts, almost everyone who has succeeded has been in this mindset of pursuing their inspired purpose with great compulsion and, and great, you know, great energy. Um, not from the mindset of, uh, a desperation to make profit whether it’s the clay sculptor or the athlete. Um, we’re not talking about a direct path to riches, as you might find in a more traditional, uh, career path. Um, I recently heard Joe Rogan talking about how when he turned on the microphone a few years ago for his a hundred million dollar podcast, right?
Brad (24:27):
That was the acquisition price that Spotify paid him to move over to exclusively to Spotify. So, the number one podcast in the world, definitely, a good economic prospects. But years ago, probably over a decade ago, maybe, 13 or 14 or 15 years ago, the first podcast came out in around 2012. I, I think, the reason he did it was because he wanted to have conversations with his buddies. There was no business plan or financial model, or quoting multimillion dollar commercial rates as we see today. And so, you know, he had, uh, an organic path to his growth and his, uh, smashing success. So here’s another distinction when we’re talking about inspired purpose. This is different than the term passion, which we often hear bantered about, like, follow your passion. That’s my career advice. At the commencement speech, people who follow their passions are often closing down failed restaurants or eating fish tacos on the beach and catching a lot of waves while running up credit card debt.
Brad (25:27):
Demartini got into this, and it was really memorable, and he said, look, um, I want you to stop the show right now and Google the term passion in the dictionary, and the Latin root word is the definition is to suffer. If you wanna pause right now and go look it up, go ahead. He made me do this during the show. The tape was rolling. I looked it up, and I was like, oh, to suffer. What the heck? So, following your passion alone could be a recipe for suffering, because it’s not as comprehensive or inclusive as following your inspired purpose. John Gray talks about this in the realm of relationships. He says, the the idea is to find a way to get happy yourself, and then look to a relationship for a boost for that 20% boost. So he wants you to get 80% there as a happy person, and then, and only then look to relationships to add value and add happiness to your life.
Brad (26:31):
Opposite. We often see in the movies that’s right where they desperately can’t live without their partner without their pursuit. And of course, there’s the, the arc of the character where they lose their love and then they’re nobody without the person, and then they reconcile for a wonderful ending of the romantic comedy. Uh, but when we do things like falling for someone with unbridled passion, this is the essence of suffering <laugh>. So, remember that inspired purpose is making a contribution to the bigger world around you and envisioning things as stepping stones rather than getting stuck with, uh, tunnel vision and being miserable because you’re not in your dream job. Let’s say someone is their inspired purpose is clay sculpture, and they, uh, drift into the category of starving artist and feel really frustrated about it because they’re pursuing their passions.
Brad (27:32):
What if they opened up their perspective to set up a path where they were, uh, teaching students how to do clay sculpture and getting an actual viable career going and also experiencing the joy of being around their, their art that they love and, and having the, the, the freedom ostensibly to and create their own sculptures while they’re teaching others, whether or not they sell, right? You’re still an art teacher who’s contributing value, pursuing that inspired purpose. Okay? So number two tip is pursue your inspired purpose.
Brad (28:05):
Number three, ask yourself, what should I be doing right now? This is from a main man, Dave Rossi, four or five times podcast guest who’s been such a great inspiration and spiritual guru. His shows are packed with memorable insights. I have all these sticky notes on my door reminding me, uh, when I don’t get to talk to Rossi regularly. His, his words echo in my life every single day. He’s hammered this idea into me repeatedly, and it’s all about whenever you, whenever you experience stress, anxiety, fear, uncertainty about the future, you must ask yourself, what should I be doing about this right now? That is all that matters. And then as we go back to tip number one, you act like a machine and you take action and you take care of what you can handle right now, and then your charter is to let it go and try to enjoy your life while you’re waiting for your resume to be seen in the pile of 37 other ones. So it’s when you experience a fear and anxiety, you must redirect your focus away from your fear and anxiety to your values, your vision, your inspired purpose. And I told that anecdote about when I was an athlete.
Brad (29:24):
I got my butt kicked. I was able to whine and complain with the best of ’em. I often felt like a quote, victim of drafting in triathlon, you know, where the bicycles follow closely behind one another and ride in a pack formation where they can go much, much faster than an individual athlete. So, I, on occasion, struggled with my swim performance. There were so many great swimmers that I competed against, and so they’d get ahead of me, you know, even three or four or five guys swimming, finishing together, getting on their bikes and riding five guys together. It’s very, very difficult for an individual rider to catch them, because the win resistance is such a huge factor in bicycling and in triathlon. Uh, so in case you watch triathlon in the Olympics, you’ll see that the bicycles were riding very much together in huge packs, just like you see in the Tour de France.
Brad (30:15):
And that’s because they changed the rules, right around the time that I was, uh, wrapping up my racing career, they went to drafting legal triathlons in pursuit of getting awarded a spot in the Olympic Games, which triathlon first landed in the Olympic Games in the year 2000 after I retired. But the sport changed so much to be drafting legal, because now the bicycle ride was more of a tactics rather than a, a display of who had the most cycling power when everyone was obligated to ride individually. So anyway, I like to complain a lot about drafting, but, uh, the drafting, which was illegal at the time, but I was, you know, finally convinced. And I had some good help with that. People telling, talking to me straight saying, Hey, why don’t you just get faster in swimming?
Brad (31:06):
So instead of complaining about it, you can be up there in the loosely formed packed that were packs that were staying within the rules, but still, uh, allowed you to ride much faster than you when, than you could when you were by yourself at trying to chase everybody in front of you. And when I made that switch in my mindset to stop complaining and just act like a machine and, and train better and, and be smarter, that was a big breakthrough. So you do what you gotta do, and then you let go of things that, that are out of your control. So if you’re a young graduate and you have some free time on your hands, ’cause you haven’t landed, uh, that ideal job, and you don’t wanna end up eating fish tacos and surfing all day, you definitely do all those follow-ups and all those resume submissions, and then you can head to the beach and catch some waves and enjoy some fish tacos with a clear head.
Brad (31:56):
You don’t want to be burdened or play this game where, um, you’re, you’re holding on to all your fears and anxieties instead of enjoying your life. This is a great axiom from Dan Millman. He’s repeated this idea in numerous books, where you, you wanna stay, uh, mindful and present rather than quickly triggering over to finding something that we can worry and stress about. ’cause we’re always capable of finding something to worry and stress about. And I think the anecdote that he provided in Way of the Peaceful Warrior was, don’t be the surfer who thinks about sex while they’re out there in the ocean and then thinks about catching waves when they’re having sex <laugh>. So you can pair any two things there. But that was that was Dan Millman’s or Dan, the character that was talking in the book.
Brad (32:42):
So think about this. If you tend to carry around your worries and your fears and your anxieties, instead of enjoying your life and enjoying the present, realize that this is a game you play with yourself so you can save face. Guilt is adaptive, as Brene Brown explains. Stress and anxiety are adaptive, because if you didn’t have these things, guess what? You might slip into that fish taco surfer dude, credit card debt mode, right? But because you feel guilty, because you have this stress and anxiety over your job prospects, it is going to help you kind of keep things contained where you’re not just gonna disengage with your responsibilities. But once we kind of pull back the curtain on this little game that we, uh, play with ourselves, we realize that guilt can be adaptive just to a point.
Brad (33:46):
And then you might want to turn into a machine and just get shit done. One of my favorite examples is Oh gee, I have an elderly aunt who’s in a care home, very close to my home, and I should visit her more often because she totally appreciates visitors. It makes her day. She’s always happy and smiling. Even her roommate I’ve become friends with, I come in there and she’s always happy to see me, and I’m so busy, and I got so much going on that I don’t visit as much as I feel like I should. Oops, John Demartini said, don’t say should. Anyway. however, I feel guilty about not visiting so frequently. So because I carry around this guilt, I am not a uncaring, arrogant, selfish nephew. I’m a wonderful nephew who feels guilty when I don’t visit, and then enjoys the times that I do visit.
Brad (34:43):
But now that, now can you see, when I give this example how it’s a game, it’s like, what if I dropped the guilt and just said, okay, I’m going to go as often as, I choose to go <laugh>. There’s no should anymore. It’s just I’m living my life from an empowered position, kind of like the example of the machine. I’m doing what I do, I’m executing the plan without playing around with guilt and other silliness. Okay? I hope that makes sense to you, uh, with that example. And then, kind of in summary comments here, uh, it’s really important, uh, like de Martini reminded us to do whatever it takes to pursue your inspired purpose. And one of those things that it might require is reaching out for help. And you hear this often from successful people, uh, talking about their life story or being interviewed on podcasts, um, how they, you know, reached out for help when they were on their path and got tremendous support from even prominent people around them that you might be intimidated or uncertain about reaching out for help.
Brad (35:55):
Steve Jobs anecdote when he was a kid, a teenager, and he, he got out the white pages of his community in the Palo Alto, California area, and he looked up William Hewlett in the phone book and called him up, uh, the, the founder of Hewlett Packard <laugh>. And he said, hi, I’m a kid, and I’m, uh, trying to build a home computer mainframe, dual disc, whatever, whatever. And so here’s this nerdy kid calling up the founder of one of the most prominent technology companies in the history of the United States of America. And what does, what does the guy say? He says, uh, sure, come on over. I’ll help in, I’ll give you some parts and stuff. So, if that can happen, boy, um, you’d be surprised when you reach out for help. And I’ve had so much help and support from people that are on, uh, you know, in my, uh, realm of my career that I strongly recommend it.
Brad (36:47):
However, I also want to remind you or comment that I have seen this common suggestion, this common piece of advice, reach out for help. I’ve often seen it distorted and abused, whereby an obnoxious entitled career aspirant thinks that they can show up in the lobby of a building so that that way they can catch the CEO, before they get on the elevator to pitch themselves for a job. And they think that this might be a way to climb out of the stack of 37 resumes and really show how focused and confident and enthusiastic they are for the job. And I’m not just making up making this up seriously, this is an anecdote from a good friend of mine who’s a major sports agent, and he had this happen to him, someone relentlessly bothering him at his place of work or on his predictable pattern going through the lobby and, uh, coming outta the parking garage or whatever, uh, because they falsely assumed that this was a great attribute to show how, uh, persistent they were.
Brad (37:50):
Um, nah, not really. It’s more, uh, showing how much of a jerk you are <laugh>. And so this young individual in question, which is a fascinating, um, story here, that separately and independently I met the same person. And, somehow was determined that this young sports agent aspirant knew or found out that I knew, the major agent here. And so he told me that he would be overjoyed and indebted forever if I could make an introduction to my famous agent friend on his behalf. And I said, you know what? Sure, why not? And so I made the introduction and found out that found, not only had the kid already been introduced many times, he was bothering him in the lobby. So that’s, you know, that’s really stepping outside the bounds when you bring me into it and be disingenuous about the need that you have.
Brad (38:47):
So, reach out for help in a very polite, considerate, and authentic way. And what I mean, what I mean by that, authentic way is that if you really do believe that you’re a great person for a certain position, um, make your case strongly, have your pitch ready. Don’t just reach out for help, uh, to see if people can help you get something that you want, where you don’t really have something that’s distinct and focused and, uh, thoughtful in return. You get the difference here. In fact, when I reflect on, uh, virtually any employment that I’ve secured along my career path, it was because I created the position out of thin air and made a very, very compelling argument that there was a need for this position. One of my favorite examples with my former podcast guest, Martin Brauns, retired CEO of Interwoven, the Silicon Valley software company that I started working in as a corporate wellness and personal coach for the employees and trainer.
Brad (39:54):
I pitched him on a very, carefully crafted email, and he wrote back and said I got a whole bunch of nos from other companies, but I thought, you know, the Silicon Valley thing, it’s so cutting edge. And they talk about how the employees have their, uh, free meals delivered to them, and it’s a really evolved and progressive workplace where they care about the health. And, you know, Google has free food all over their campus, and they get free haircuts and dry cleaning so they can be more productive. And so I thought, you know, maybe, uh, some of these companies might want a trainer. So I pitched myself as a coach and, uh, consultant and trainer, and everyone said, no, except this guy, Martin Brauns. And he wrote me back and he goes, I have a 15 minute window from 12:15 PM to 12:30 PM on December 12th.
Brad (40:39):
Why don’t you come down and, and we’ll talk more <laugh>. So I’m like, okay. And, I was, I was ready to throw down because I really believed deeply that I could make a contribution to this young company in this unique workplace environment. So I said, my pitch and, uh, we’re five minutes into it, and he’s hiring me for the job because he too saw that I was prepared, focused, had the skills and attributes necessary to create this job out of thin air. But if I had pitched <laugh>,the wrong company on the, on the wrong idea, um, I probably would’ve been, uh, kicked outta there after five minutes or not got on the calendar in the first place. So, uh, make sure when you reach out for help, that you have something to offer. Don’t be an obnoxious hustler.
Brad (41:30):
But when I say reach out for help, it’s time to step up. And instead of hiding behind modesty and decorum and cultural convention, it’s time to go for it. And, being like a machine. Don’t worry about getting rejected. And, you know, if you have a deep belief in yourself that this is your career path and this is what you have to offer, um, you know, throw down, but not in the lobby waiting for the CEO to reach the elevator with a flimsy, uh, pitch where you’re just looking for something. Um, hopefully I made a, um, uh, unique enough example there that you can appreciate the distinction between being a slob and being someone who’s, uh, uh, focused and confident enough to reach out for help. Okay, so in summary, number one is be the machine man.
Brad (42:20):
Execute your mission with precision and focus and try to get away from attaching emotional charges to what you’re doing. Again, when you reach out for help and, and, you know, lay it out and you get rejected, it’s okay. Get back up and do it again. So number one, be the machine. Take the game winning shot and walk off the court. Win or lose. Number two, pursue your inspired purpose. What you do spontaneously every day that requires no motivation, brings you joy, and also contributes to the betterment of society. And see everything as stepping stones along the way to realizing and becoming your authentic stealth. Number three, ask yourself when you experience anxiety, stress, fear, uncertainty about the future. What should I be doing about this right now? Thank you Dave Rossi. Execute the plan like a machine, and then go out and catch some waves and enjoy some fish tacos. Thank you so much for listening, watching. I’d love to know your comments, especially on a matter like this. If you’re, whoever, however far down your career path, maybe you have something to share for young career aspirants, and I can cover this in a future, Q and A episode. So love to have you participate podcast@bradventures.com.
Brad (43:41):
Thank you so much for listening to the B.rad Podcast. We appreciate all feedback and suggestions. Email, podcast@bradventures.com and visit brad kearns.com to download five free eBooks and learn some great long cuts to a longer life. How to optimize testosterone naturally, become a dark chocolate connoisseur and transition to a barefoot and minimalist shoe lifestyle.
