We have all been told: “Follow your passion!” for life and career advice, yet the people who follow their passions are often seen closing down failed restaurants or eating fish tacos on the beach and catching a lot of waves while accumulating credit card debt. On his B.rad podcast episode, Demartini explained that the Latin root of the word passion actually means “to suffer” (look it up—he made me!). This is why following your passion can be a recipe for suffering.
Speaking of getting immersed into an exciting relationship filled with passion, John Gray always emphasizes the importance of cultivating happiness yourself, then looking to a relationship for a boost. It’s not smart to “fall for someone” with unbridled passion—you will suffer. The same mindset can be applied to following your passion professionally. You have to use your head too, and remember the important part of Demartini’s advice: your inspired purpose is also something that entails making a positive contribution to the planet. If you claim that passion is playing video games all day and ordering pizza, you can see the difference.
Let’s use a person who feels their inspired purpose is to create clay sculptures, but like a lot of creative people, has fallen into the starving artist category and is feeling frustrated about it. The first step I would recommend is simply to open their perspective to another path—like teaching young students and getting an actual career path going, as well as experiencing the joy of cranking out some great sculptures, whether or not they sell. Your inspired purpose is best to incorporate some kind of service or joy for other people.
My third piece of advice is when you are struggling or feeling stressed or anxious, ask yourself: “What should I be doing about this right now?
My four-time B.rad podcast guest Dave Rossi has hammered this into me repeatedly. You must train yourself to choose out of fear and anxiety and redirect your focus back toward your values and vision. I’ve experienced this so often as an athlete—getting your butt kicked is inevitable, but the choice to wine, complain, and lament is yours. This is what it’s all about—taking care of business like a machine, and letting go of the things that are out of your control. If you’re a young graduate with some free time, and you don’t want to end up eating fish tacos and surfing all day, then definitely do your 37 follow up emails for your resume submissions—and then you can head to the beach, have some fish tacos, and surf without the slightest thought or anguish about your current situation. As John Demartini so wisely advises, “Fill your days with high-priority actions or they’ll become filled with low-priority distractions.”
This echoes the sentiment of Dan Millman’s saying: “Don’t be the surfer thinking about sex while surfing, and thinking about waves while having sex.” If you want to carry around your anxiety instead of enjoying your life, realize this is a game we play with ourselves so we can save face. As Brené Brown explains, guilt is adaptive, stress and anxiety are adaptive, because otherwise you might slip into fish taco-surfer-credit card mode. However, it doesn’t get you any further towards your goals. I am no stranger to this—I’ll admit I go there often, even though I feel like I should be working instead of playing because I play alot, but ultimately, it comes down to one simple question: What should I be doing about this right now? That’s all that matters, because all we have is the present moment, and the only thing we are really in control of is ourselves and our behavior.
Tip number four: Ask for help.
When I say do whatever it takes to pursue your inspired purpose, that also means reaching out for help. This is a common piece of advice that successful people share and it’s amazing how many people are actually willing to bend over backward to help you out (this includes very busy and important people).
Now, I have seen this suggestion get distorted and abused, whereby obnoxious, entitled, career aspiring people think that they can show up in the lobby of the building so they can bother the CEO on their way to work and pitch themselves for a job because they think that will get them higher up the on resume stack. This is not advisable behavior, it’s the opposite. Seriously, my friend who is a major sports agent has had this happen to him where someone relentlessly bothers him because they falsely assume that this is a fantastic attribute that will be valued in the prospective job. No, it’s called being a jerk. You will come off as entitled and inappropriate, or worse, an asshole.
Reach out for help when you really need it, and if you are a great candidate to actually take that help and run with it and bring satisfaction and contentment to the person helping you. These are the guys who create a model for a startup company with their heart and soul behind it and then will pitch for investor money. There are good pitches and there are ones that are not good, so it’s about finding the balance between not being an obnoxious hustler, while also making sure you don’t hide behind modesty and decorum when you feel like you are pursuing your inspired purpose and could use some help.
I realize now that every single job I’ve ever had was landed due to my initiative of creating the position and convincing someone to hire me. Of course, I am a unique example, but it’s illustrative nevertheless. I never answered to a “Help Wanted” sign, but instead created a position in my mind very clearly, carefully shared this with my employer, and convinced them to greenlight the project (Project Hire Brad!). As John Demartini says: “If you don’t empower your life, other people will overpower you!” If you want to hear more tips about pursuing your inspired purpose and accomplishing personal goals, listen to my interviews with Dr. John Martini, one of the world’s leading experts on human behavior and author of The 7 Secret Treasures: A Transformational Blueprint for a Well-Lived Life, here and here.
