What do you spontaneously do every day that brings you joy and requires no motivation? This is what you value most highly and that you must pursue in order to live as your authentic self!
That’s a pretty heavy message and it’s from the remarkable Dr. John Demartini, one of the world’s leading personal development experts. Listeners, we have had some high-powered guests and shows before, but get ready for a brilliant exploration in finding your life purpose from world-renowned human behavior expert Dr. John Demartini! You’ll hear about his incredible and unique life story and the unbelievable challenges and obstacles he faced growing up as he reveals that he was constrained to arm and leg braces until he was four years old, lived out his teenage years on the street, and nearly died weeks before his 18th birthday—an experience that shifted him onto a different course. Then, at 18, he learned to read, and he wrote his first book. For someone that couldn’t read and write, Dr. John illustrates that anything is possible.
In this episode, you’ll learn seven powerful strategies for managing stress, why you should pay yourself first, how to overcome inaction, and why physical wellbeing begins first in the mind. We talk about how to find your niche and get to where you want to go, embracing the science of goal setting, and the importance of gratitude journaling. Dr. John also explains why motivation doesn’t work, breaks down how you can effectively maximize your potential, and how to awaken your inner genius. He also reveals that we create internal conflict with our authentic self when we traffic in thoughts and phrases like, “I need to, I should, I have to…” because these things require motivation, which as we all know, is now turning out to be flimsy and unreliable. If you like memorable and inspiring quotes that will help you put your ideas into action or need help zeroing in on what your purpose is, then this is the show for you!!
Dr. John Demartini is an internationally published author, global educator, and the founder of the Demartini Method, a revolutionary tool in modern psychology. He has studied over 30,000 books across academic disciplines and has authored over 40 books and manuscripts including the #1 bestseller ‘The Breakthrough Experience®’ which has been translated into over 36 languages.
A great life is not by accident. It’s built on purpose. [01:20]
What do you spontaneously do every day that brings you joy and requires no motivation? [03:24]
The tool on Dr. Demartini’s website is useful to determine what your real mission and priorities in life are. [06:32]
Motivation and willpower are relatively flimsy tools. What are your values? [08:13]
We have drifted away from what values are to what is determined by society. Your hierarchy of values will dictate your destiny. [13:30]
How do we determine how to delegate tasks to others? [18:14]
If the person’s not doing what they love and loving what they do, they’re going to be burdened
In an effort to get ahead, people think, “when I get ahead, I’ll save.” But it is the other way around. When you save, you get ahead. [24:27]
People tend to compare themselves with others and thereby get the message, “I should,” “I need to,” which means they have some outside authority whispering in their head. [26:33]
Are these principles available within the reach of everyone? We need to take a good look at how we spend our time. [31:55]
Dr. Demartini does not do low-priority things. He only does what he enjoys. [37:45]
Because he had a learning disability, he didn’t learn to read until he was 18. [42:09]
Anything you need motivation to do, is not you. [45:20]
If you can’t be honest with yourself, it’s because you’re afraid of what other people think about you. [52:57]
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Hey listeners, you know, we’ve had some very high powered guests and shows on this podcast before, and I’ve had some enthusiastic intros, but get ready for another one. Oh my gosh. It’s gonna knock your socks off. It’s a brilliant exploration in finding your life purpose from world renowned human behavior expert, Dr. John Demartini the one and only. I promise you in a few minutes, you’ll be drawn in as he shares technology. It’s behavior technology that can change your life. The stuff that comprises what he calls the Demartini Method. He’s been teaching this for decades and it starts with determining what you truly value in your life. And this is something that we are surprisingly deficient in. We have our head down grinding through day after day. And boy, it’s gonna wake you up. You’re gonna learn about a wonderful tool at his website that I’m participating in.
It’s a free analysis, comprised of 13 questions, take you about a half an hour, and you can take this quiz for free and you will help determine your life purpose and your calling. Uh, it’s extremely thought provoking. It’s extremely impactful. And I think it’s going to stop you in your tracks. Uh, I wanna give you a quick overview of what the show is all about. It’s pretty fast moving. I think it’s gonna be one of those that you’re gonna wanna listen to two or three times, but basically what’s going on in, in modern life. Crazy hectic pace of modern life is you create internal conflict with your authentic self. When you traffic in thoughts and phrases like I need to, I should, I have to do this. These things require motivation. And guess what? As we’ve heard from many other guests and is becoming rising to popularity, this idea that motivation and willpower are turning out to be flimsy and unreliable resources to get stuff done and to live the life of your dreams and in alignment with your highest values and purpose.
So instead, what Demartini is going to urge you to do is ask yourself, what do you spontaneously do every day that brings you joy and requires no motivation? This is what you value most highly and what you must pursue in order to live life as your authentic self, rather than be just following along in the pack. And if you like memorable quotes, oh my gosh, this is the show for you. I was burning through sticky notes, like crazy. I just wanna give you a couple tidbits, give him a brief bio, and then Dr. John can take it away. How about this? Fill your days with high priority actions or they’ll become filled with low priority distractions. Another, if you don’t empower your life, other people will overpower you. If you aren’t living according to your highest values, you succumb to distraction and instant gratification.
Oh boy, isn’t that the tale of modern life with all our pension for instant and constant entertainment, distraction, and getting pulled away from what really gives us purpose and long term satisfaction and fulfillment instead of instant gratification. Yes, we are on the verge of listening to Dr. John Demartini, an internationally published author, global educator and founder of the Demartini Method. He shares life, business, financial relationship and leadership, empowerment strategies, and empowerment tools that have stood the test of time. One of his books he’s written over 40 books, but one was called The Breakthrough Experience. Became a number one best seller. He was in the movie, The Secret he’s been featured in documentaries, and he shares a little bit about his extremely difficult upbringing and the challenges that he faced with learning disabilities and so forth. Didn’t learn to read until he was 18 years old. Had some life or death battles and he overcame all those and became immersed into teaching and studying that he’s been doing for decades.
I think you’re gonna love this guy. The audio was a little glitchy at times because he was coming to us from his home on that famous cruise ship that cruises nonstop around the world, the luxury cruise ship, and that’s where he lives now. Pretty awesome. Huh. So I bring to you from somewhere on the oceans of the planet, Dr. John Demartini. Dr. John Demartini. I’m so glad to join you. It’s been really exciting to learn about you and binge on the fantastic podcast, the Demartini show. And now we are here live and sharing it with the listeners. So boy, there’s so much to talk about. You have such an amazing background. Welcome.
Well, thank you for having me on your show. Thank you.
I, especially like the call to jump over to your website that you, uh, you talk about on the podcast and, and do those, um, take advantage of those free tools. So maybe we should start with you know, how you can help people when you, when you jump over there and do that, that small ask to figure JohnDemartini com.
On my website Dr. Demartini.com is there is a determine your values, exercise, a questionnaire that millions of people have done not necessarily on that website, but I’ve, I’ve taken people through that many years that assists people in prioritizing our life and structure their life where they’re intrinsically driven instead of having to be motivated. People I’ve, I’ve got people in governments and people in corporations and people are celebrities and all kinds of people and school systems using it. And it really is a simple exercise, 13 questions that can help you discern the real priorities that your life is demonstrating. Not necessarily the things you think it is. I mean, I’ve been doing it 44 years value, determination processes, and there’s little tool, a lot of guidance counselors use it to help people find school path and the educational path they’re on and career path. And many people use it when they’re hiring people or they’re inspiring teams and companies, or they want to have more resilience or ability to have the ability to change an environment. But this tool is a very useful tool to determine what your real mission and real highest values and really priorities in life are. So you can learn to delegate lower priority things to empower your life. So I, I would encourage people to go to Dr. D martini.com and just do a complimentary, private 30 minute questionnaire. I’m absolutely certain it’ll be worth the time.
Well, I love that contrast between intrinsic drive instead of having to rely on motivation. And we’ve heard so much about motivation our whole lives, about how important it is. You gotta get motivated, come on, everybody let’s get motivated and do a great workout or, or study hard or whatever our, our focus is. But, now it’s appearing that motivation and willpower are relatively flimsy tools compared to the other stuff. So maybe we can dig further into the compare and contrast there.
Yes, every human being lives by a set of priorities, a set of values, things that are most, at least important in their life, whenever they are doing what’s highest on their value. They’re spontaneously inspired to fulfill those. That’s like the young boy who love his video games. He doesn’t need to be motivated to do his video games, but things lower on your values on the hierarchy values you’ll require extrinsic motivation, like getting the boy to do his chores, homework, or clean his room. So you’ll use reward and punishment mechanisms, extrinsically for things low, but things that are high really intrinsically driving you, you spontaneously love doing. I love spontaneously teaching and research. Nobody has to motivate me to do that. If you need to be motivated to do what you say is important, what you say is important, isn’t really important. And motivation is a symptom, never a solution for maximizing human potential. So I’m not a promoter. I’m not a motivational speaker. Mm-hmm , that’s using persuasion, rhetorical persuasion to get people to do something that’s not inspiring to them. I’m interested in finding out what inspires, intrinsically an individual and help them structure their life so they can live an inspired life.
Is it that simple where we can just try to examine what we spontaneously enjoy or call to do every day, and then sort of try to tread down that path, because oftentimes we’re discouraged from that. And, uh, we need to get a grip on reality and we need to buck up and go, uh, punch the clock?
Well, if you wanna live as a drone, if you wanna fit in, you wanna be part of the herd. You wanna be part of the sheep, I guess that’s fine. That’s perfectly fine. And there’s a great percentage of people that choose to do that. But if you wanna be, make a difference, you wanna stand out. You wanna be the square peg in a round hole, as, as a misfit, as Steve Jobs said, um, and be an unborrowed visionary instead of a borrowed visionary, um, then finding out what you really value intrinsically is a great starting point. I have, I’ve asked millions of people about their values. And I would say that a great percentage of the population don’t know what they are. They think they do. I’ll give an example. I was speaking to about 5,000 people at a success summit in Johannesburg, a few years back.
And I asked here at this success summit, how many of you would love to be financially independent? And every hand went up and some feet went up in the air. And so 5,000 people rallied and put their hands up one, two hands or a foot. And, I said, great. And then I asked, how many of you are financially independent? Were your passive income exceed your active income? And, um, all the hands went down just about all but seven in the room of 5,000 people. Now this was a general audience to the populace, not a group of executives. So if majority of people said they want to be financial independent, but they weren’t. So they’re what they fantasize about and what their life was demonstrating were two different things. And then I asked them if you 10 million to a check for 10 million, and you had 60 seconds to decide what you would do with that $10 million.
I want you on a piece of paper to write down in 60 seconds, what you would do if I give you 10 million right now. And I said on your mark, get set, go. Write down exactly what you would do with that 10 million, every penny of it. And you got 10 things you would do with it, right? The 10 things you would do with that 10 million. And they quickly in 60 seconds wrote as fast as they could, those 10 things. And then I had ’em turn to the person to the right of them and have them summarize what they had spent their money on to see how much of that was still an asset that was gonna grow and give them a passive income and 20 to 80% of the people, the well, 28 to 80% of what they wrote was buying consumables that depreciated in value, which eroded the potential for them ever to be financially independent. So what they say they want, financial independence is not what their life demonstrates, what their life demonstrates is. They want me to gratifying consumables and live the lifestyle, the rich and famous instead of actually boringly have wealth building assets, working pastly for them. And people don’t know what their values are. Many times they live in a fantasy of injected values from outer authorities. And so that’s why this exercise on the website is an eyeoper, I’m certain,
Oh, how did we get to that point where we’ve even drifted away from a crystal clear, uh, interpretation of our values in day to day life?
Well, there’s six. There there’s a series of value determinants that I’ve I’ve written down. The first one is space. If you look at your space, you have PMIC. You have your most intimate space, which is around a foot and a half around you. You have your personal space, which is about a four foot. You got your social space and your public space and social space up to about 10, 12 feet, and then public space. And if you look anything that’s valuable, you keep in your personal and intimate space, all within reach anything that’s not valuable. You push away, it’s called proximal and distal. And so if you look at what you keep around your personal space, look at where you spend most of your time and look at that space. And you will find that you’re fill at things that are valuable to you, and you won’t want those things to get away. You want them within reach. And so you look carefully what your, what your life demonstrates valuable to you by looking at your space. The second thing you do is you look at your time. You find time, make times that are valuable to you. You run out of time, don’t wanna spend time on things that aren’t. So you look also at what you’re really spending your time doing. Mm
There’s. There’s 13 of these. Those are the first two. The next one is energy. The things that you do that are absolutely high on your values energizes you, and you have more energy after doing them than when you started. If you’re doing something low on your value, you take your AC to touch you down and you get drained. So doing something behind your value, your energy goes up. So you look at what is it that energizes you, that you always have energy to do? And the next one is money. You find money, make money, spend money, and get money for things that are valuable to you, run outta money. Don’t wanna spend money and don’t wanna pay for things that aren’t. So if you look carefully at your life, your me, your hierarchy of values will dictate your financial destiny. So those are four of 13 questions that I have on the website that you answer three answers to, and then you summate them. And then you discover what is most repeated in the answers. And the thing that’s repeated most is highest on the value down to, but you might say it makes you look at no wonder I’m doing what I’m doing and getting the results I have in life. Cause the heart of your values is dictating your destiny and how you perceive, decide and act all your decisions are based on it.
So I guess this can largely apply to one’s career path or career crossroads, but it, I guess it also can apply to how you spend your personal time, your hobbies, your circle of socials and everything else,
Exactly every, every aspect of your life is influenced by your values. Like I said, I’ve been studying it 44 years. I’ve been teaching for almost 50. And 44 years I’ve been in studying this topic and I wrote a book called The Values Factor for that purpose. And, um, I am absolutely certain that how you perceive your world, how you filter your reality, there’s an area in your brain, in the thalamus called the Venar nuclei. It’s the top end of the particular activating system. And as sensory information comes into the brain, it filters through this nuclei through nerve conduction and certain things are deleted from going up to the cortex, to the conscious level. And some are off shot onto the amygdala for survival responses, and we literally filter our reality, according to our value structure, our attentions, our retentions of information, our imagination, and our intentions are expressed based on our values.
And it’s quite intriguing. So knowing what they are is allowing you to know where you’re going to excel, where you’re gonna be spontaneously creative, where you’re gonna wake up your genius, where you’re gonna actually expand who you are most effectively. The ancient Greeks knew how important this was. They made a study of it called teleology, which is a study of meaning and purpose, cuz it reflects what’s highest on your value, which called tellos the highest value, the most distant end in the, in our, uh, goals in life. So this is the most significant thing we can discover about our life, because if we can find that, prioritize our life, fill our day with the highest priority actions to fulfill it and delegate everything else. We’re on a way to having inspired life.
Yeah. You talk about delegating a lot in the podcast and it gives me so much cause for reflection because I work, in my own in my own direction, you know, self-employed but I also, uh, have a team around me and there’s a constant you know, there’s a constant opportunity for decisions every day for what you’re gonna handle and what you can possibly delegate. And I think it’s a big struggle for many people because, I think you’ve said this too on your shows, uh, yes, of course you can do it better than the person that you have to hire and, and train and then sit back and watch and, and make sure they don’t screw it up. But we, we still have to, uh, trend in that direction if we wanna reach the highest expression of our talent. So how do we navigate that battle between knowing what to delegate, delegating correctly or making a bigger mess?
If the person that you’re hiring to delegate to it, if they don’t have what you’re delegating higher on their values than you. And if they’re not skilled more than you, don’t hire them. because if you’re having to motivate them to do something, cuz it’s not intrinsically something they’re driven to do and they don’t have skills and mastery of it, you’re gonna end up hiring Z people instead of a people. And you’re gonna end up having to micromanage them, push them a pill and distract yourself from what you can be doing. It produces way more income. It doesn’t cost to properly delegate. It costs to improperly delegate. So that’s why thousands of companies are using this tool that I’m trying to refer people to go online to do. Because what they do is when they hire somebody, if they don’t know what their values are, they’re gonna have a hard time discerning w to hire people.
Don’t go to work for the sake of a company. They go to work to fulfill what they value most. If they don’t see how the job description that they’re about to do in a company is gonna help them fulfill their values. They’re not going to be engaged nor inspired, nor creative, nor innovative doing that job. But the second you get them where they can see how the job duties match their values. You don’t have to micromanage ’em. You don’t have to motivate. You don’t need to do anything. They’re intrinsically driven according to their highest values. So that’s why it’s a screening process. I’m telling there are companies right now that won’t hire people without going to this website and having them fill that out and then going through it with them because it’s so useful. I also notice companies that are leading people through values, training people through values, inspiring teams through values, managing people through values, selling through values, negotiating through values, change management processes through values, guiding them in their career path through values. It’s so many applications to it. It’s worth the time.
Hmm. Right? So what we’re looking for is an optimal fit. And it strikes me that today more than any other time, we have a great opportunity to connect and find just the right person that we’ve been looking for because they probably have a message up on the on the internet, uh, job resource that says, I love doing this. And then you find them and you guys are a winning team.
Well, if the person’s not doing what they love and loving what they do, they’re going to be burdened. They’re gonna end up being bored or burned out. They’re gonna end up being distracted easily. Anytime an individual’s not living by their highest values, the unfulfillment that occurs puts them into their Amy for immediate gratification, impulse, impulse. And what that does is it makes them want to easily be distracted by impulses and instincts. So they’re living in a thing where they’re going online and getting distracted, or they’re going for coffee break, getting distracted, eating sugars, food, or whatever. These are all symptoms of an unengaged individual. When somebody’s fully engaged, they don’t live to eat, they eat to live. They eat to perform. When they’re fully engaged, they don’t want to take a break. They’re too engaged. They’re too inspired to wanna stop. You wanna surround yourself with people that are inspired and are in the A game, not down below, you don’t ever wanna hire somebody totally train. You want somebody that’s got a history. This is what they dreamed about doing. And then you can further train ’em for specifics. But if they don’t have more knowledge than you, you’re not gonna surround yourself with somebody that’s going to free you up. You’re gonna be sitting there having to micromanage and train them all day long.
Whew. And I’m thinking back to your incredibly long career timeline there where you’ve been teaching this stuff for 44 years. And it occurs to me in recent times with hyperconnectivity and the constant potential we have now for diversion, frittering entertainment, stimulation, instant gratification, do you see some, some trends in society that have, uh, that have occurred whereby you know, now we can fritter away our days and our years and have this, this instant gratification pattern, not live in accordance with our highest values and just be you know, more checked out than ever, but it, it sort of become commonplace.
Well, I learned a long time ago that if you don’t fill your day with high priority actions that inspire you, it’s designed to fill up a low priority distractions. That don’t, if you don’t fill your day with challenges that inspire you, your day’s gonna fill up with challenges that don’t, if you fill ’em with challenges that do inspire you, you get Ure and you create an increased wellness pot. But if you do something that’s not inspiring to you and you feel challenges are constantly bombarding, you, you have distress and your illness potion goes up. This potion goes up. So I’m a firm believer in filling your day with that. Anybody thing on time management knows that if you don’t figure your day with the highest priority things, unexpected things show up. And that applies also with money. If you don’t take the money that you receive from your saving, I mean, from your in income, and don’t put it into assets immediately, you’ll have an increased probability of unexpected bills
come in to remind you that you’re not prioritizing your money. And I prove that over and over again in thousands of companies, because what people do is they think, well, when I, when I get ahead, then I’ll save. But it’s the other way around when you save, you get ahead. When you invest, you get ahead. When you manage money wisely, you get more money to manage cause money circulates through the economy, from those, those who value it most, and those who have the least order around it. And those to those who have the most order and those that pay themselves last to those who pay themselves first, it’s a basic law of economics.
Can you detail that quick Quip there of paying yourself first?
Yeah, because, uh, anybody who knows that, it’s just exactly like I was saying. Fill your day with high priority actions. It doesn’t fill up a low priority distractions. If you put your money into high priority asset, it doesn’t end up having an attracting unexpected bills that wipe out the money, put it away. First. I I’ve, I’ve proven that, and God knows how many clients they, they, they think, well, when I get extra, I’ll save, Nope. When you save, you’ll get extra, turn it around. I started doing that 40 years ago. I’m independently wealthy, multiple times as a result of simply following that law.
Well, it’s extremely sensible and I don’t think you’re gonna have too many opposing views here so far. Right. But I wanna ask what if we, you know, are, are embracing the message, we’re buying into it. However, there appears to be some, some discord or disconnect with, where we sit right now in life. And, um, if we’re not independently wealthy, but we do believe in the power of saving and compounding interest and all these things, but it’s just not happening. What do you suggest as a, some steps the, um, the person can take to kind of correct course and get more in alignment with the values in our head and the, the, the, the behavior patterns that we engage in.
Well, what people do is they often compare themselves to others, put people on pedestals, minimize, and the way values work in society. Whoever has the most society, those values infiltrate down below to those that have less power there. Therefore if you don’t empower your life, other people will overpower it. Hmm. And so the injected values of other people, when they come in, they’ll hear them saying, I got to, I have to, I must, I should. I ought to, I’m supposed to, I need to, which are imperative languages. And whenever somebody says that, you know that they’ve got an outside authority whispering in their head, a super ego as Freud called it, telling ’em, this is what they should do. And whenever they try to live by that, they’ve got an internal conflict between their authentic self, which is their highest value and lower values that are to them, lower values, but higher values to others that are being projected or that they’re injecting in.
So anytime you subordinate to outer authorities, you’re going to cloud the clarity of your own calling and mission and purpose in life. And you’re gonna hold yourself back because you’re gonna lose your drive. That’s intrinsic and need motivation. Motivation, as I said, is a symptom and it comes from the subordination. And so many people subordinate, be other people and try to imitate other people monkey see, monkey do, a chameleon effect, and they try to be second at being somebody else. Instead of first it being their authentic self. And this is the key is that’s why knowing what your highest value is and prioritizing your life and delegating lower priority things decreases the probability of brain offloading to other people that you give authority to. Einstein said, when you’re a cat expecting to swim like a fish, you’ll beat yourself up. Or if you’re a fish expecting to climb a tree like a cat, you’ll beat yourself up.
But when you honor who you are, you’ll end up growing and expanding and momentum building achieve. So I’m a firm believer in prioritizing your daily lives. Cause if you don’t, it’s going to fill up with other things because everybody’s getting up in the morning and dedicating their life to their fulfillment. And they’re projecting that onto you. And if you don’t know how to say no to them and say yes to your own, you’re going to be distracted. And that distraction is a feedback to let you know, you’re not being authentic. So be your authentic self revolves around what you value most. So giving yourself permission, when you have a very busy day filled with very high priority things, it’s easy to say no to other things and distractions, but if you don’t, I guarantee you distractions will dominate your life.
Whew. John, I’m running out of sticky notes because there’s so many quotes coming outta your mouth, man. It’s, it’s incredible. The, the one liners that are unforgettable one of ’em, that’s pretty powerful here is that we, um, we better watch out with our language when we, um, we’re, we’re having this pattern of saying, I must do I have to do, I should do. Uh, because that leads us down this undesirable path toward the need for motivation. But I think like you say, you’re not a motivational speaker, but we get filled with a lot of this, uh, fluff these days, especially because we have the internet to, to really pound us. Um, but you know, they’re, they’re kind of turning us into these, um, these, these beasts that are you know, needing to be filled with motivation every day, because we have all these shoulds and needs and have to’s that society has projected upon us to determine, or, or to, to, to allow us to be, uh, happy. And, um, all the things that are promised with consumerism and all the, all the messaging.
Well, I’d rather have the whole world against me than my my authentic self. You know, if you wanna be an unborrowed visionary, it takes walking a unique path. Your hierarchy of values are unique to you. They’re like a fingerprint. Nobody has the same two sets of values. So if you don’t know what it is, you’ll be easily swayed by the world and the herd around you, the collective authority. Colberg in his moral development stages said that there is punishment reward is the lowest level of morality. The second one is subordinating to individual authorities. Mommys, daddys, preachers, teachers. Then there’s the collective authority of the peer pressure of the community, the city, the state, or the nation. And, uh, finally, there’s transcendence. When you realize that you need to contribute to the world, and you’re not here to subordinate, to anyone, you’re here to shine and share.
What’s inspiring to you with world around you in a way that feeds their values, not sacrifices yours, but helps them fulfill theirs. You know, I love teaching. I love researching. That’s what I do. I, I only teach research and write. Everything else is delegated. I haven’t driven a car in 32 years. Haven’t cooked since I was 24. I don’t do low priority things. Cuz every time you do lower priority things, you devalue yourself. And every time you do high priority things, you value yourself. And when you value yourself, so does the world, the world’s a reflection of what’s going on inside you. So wisdom is prioritized delegation and sustainable fair exchange by doing the highest priority thing in a way that solves the biggest problems that serve the greatest number of people in humanity. Hmm. Those are the keys to a fulfilled life.
Do you believe that this is something within reach of many, many people, nearly everyone, or do we necessarily have to have a structure where some people are, are just gonna be obligated to put their head down and um, go put the doors on the cars in the factory,
The structure in life is going to end up being there based on the degree of awareness of how to apply these principles. I know many people that have applied these principles that start out impoverished and start out, you know, in the challenges of life and they apply these principles and rose to the top. So it doesn’t matter where you start. It doesn’t matter where you, what going through what you’ve been through. It matters as you applying to principles that stand the test of time. I also know that some people are more interested in immediate gratification at this point and it just doesn’t ring a bell yet to them. And they’re gonna play at a different level of life. So a social structure depends on all those stages, but the question is is where do you wanna play? I chose to, I wanted to master my life since I was 18.
And I realized that there’s seven areas of life that I wanted to master. I wanted to be inspired by my life and have an inspired life on a daily basis. I wanted to create original ideas that serve human beings across the world. I wanted to have a global business. I want to be financially independent. I wanna have a global family that travels the world. I live right now in the world as I’ve sit here. And, I also wanna have social influence and physical vitality. I’m almost 68 and I got more energy than most people around me. And I want to create some sort of inspired movement of people that, you know, go out and do something extraordinary with their life. All this is achievable. There’s nothing stopping any human being from achieving what it is. That’s really a dream that they apply the principles that are proven to work, but they may not. They may come up with the reasons they may be extrinsically driven. They may be subordinating and comparing themselves. But anytime you compare yourself to somebody else and put them on a pedestal or on a pit, you’re gonna minimize yourself or exaggerate yourself instead of be yourself.
Ooh, that’s a fine line there between, you know, launching into your the beautiful path of aligning with your values. And, um, it’s gonna take a lot of hard work, focused dedication, overcoming, uh, challenges and setbacks. Uh, however, we don’t want to buy into this. I should, I need to, I have to. And so it, it feels like a bit of a tightrope where you’re trying to preserve that, that pure form of motivation, uh, instead of engaged once. Yeah.
Yeah. Once you start prioritizing your life, you’ll find it. It’s not as complex. When I was 27 years old, I was doing a little of everything and I had, you know, finished my 10 years of college and was, you know, starting my little shingle out and working with people. And, and I didn’t know anything about prioritization. I didn’t know anything about delegation and I was just starting out and I finally hired one assistant. And then I went to the bookstore at Walden’s bookstore. And I got a book called The Time Trap by Alec Mackenzie. And when, as I reading that I was going, boy, this book is for me. I underlined, darn near everything in it. And I decided, you know what, I’m gonna take a real honest evaluation of how I’m spending my day. And I wrote down every single thing that I did in a day over a three month period and took a look honestly at how I spent my day.
It was, it was brutally honest. How do I spend my day? And that was every little action step I did over a three month period. I wrote everything that I might do in that three months. And I broke it down into professional and personal. You know, at work and home. And then the next to it, I wrote another column down next to it. There were six columns. And all I wrote down, how much is it produced per hour? Because if I’m not doing anything to serve people, I’m not gonna generate an income. But if I’m serving people, I’ve got an income. And so what is the income I’m getting by doing that action? Cause if I there’s no fulfillment, unless you do something of service to somebody, I mean, that’s part of the fulfillment we need and the process of doing it. We ask a question, what exactly is the highest producing thing we do well, in my case, believe it or not, I, I discovered for me, it was out there sharing and speaking.
And the second highest thing was clinically working with clients. And the third was training and I realized that, and it was like, whoa, that’s where the most income is. And that’s where also the most fulfillment. So in the next column I wrote down, what is the overall meaning on a one to 10 scale for each of these actions? And I found out by putting a 10 on the things that were most inspiring and down a one on the things were least inspiring and prioritizing that I found out again. My speaking and my clinical and my teaching still come up on the top. So I realized that if I don’t fill my day with those things, I’m gonna, it’s gonna cost me money, cost me energy and enthusiasm for life. So I then went through it and I looked at what would it cost me to hire somebody to do all those other things.
And I looked at every cost, not just their salary, but every single cost from the paperclip, all the way to, you know, the training of them to parking costs, you name it. And all of a sudden, I, I then prioritized that according to spread between what I could produce doing that action versus what it would cost. And then I started hiring people. And then when I did, I prioritized it and I started delegating and hiring and, and man, it liberated, I went from a one assistant little 970 square foot office, 18 months later I had, and I realized that now I’m only doing three things. I don’t have to be distracted. I don’t have to be overwhelmed. I don’t have to do any things that I don’t love doing. And I never turned back.
Now, in other areas of your life, outside of your career and the optimal expression of your unique abilities in your career, do you have other examples where you discover yourself doing something spontaneously without the need to motivate and it’s, you’re, you’re also a, a, a devoted gardener or chess player or something like that?
Well, in my particular case, what I love doing is I, I mean, it may sound bizarre, but I love researching, writing, and teaching. And I travel. I, you know, I traveled over 20 million miles in flight and I dunno how many hundreds of thousands of miles on my ship. So I, I love that. That’s what I love doing. I, I, I play chess occasionally and I go play tennis. Occasionally I go surfing occasionally I do other things, but that’s not how I spend most of my day because I’d rather be doing the things that are most, most important and meaningful. If I happen to sail into a place, that’s got some great surf I’ll go surfing. If somebody comes along and is a great chess player, and then it challenges me, I’ll go play chess, but I don’t do low priority things.
I just don’t, I don’t waste my time on that. Cuz they devalue me and they distracting and some people go, well, that’s bizarre. You know? And, and, and, but most people are afraid to say no to people. They fear rejection. And so they get distracted by things and then deep inside, they’re going, this is not really what I wanna be doing. I don’t waste my time on that now, am I social? Sure. But most of my social work is when I’m teaching, I’m interacting and helping clients all the time. But I also have social interactions with people in my, in my peers that are very powerful people. I’ve surrounded, made a goal to be able to hang out with the people there are movers and shakers on the planet. So I spend time socializing there because that’s gonna in increase my education, which is gonna help me in teaching. So I made sure I linked everything that I do to what I value most. I always say, either go do what you love through delegating or love what you do through linking by asking how specifically is doing this action. Gonna help me fulfill what I value most and then life on the way, not in the way.
Wow. It, it reminds me of there’s a little bit of a rethinking of this need for work/life balance. And it’s probably predicated on a dated notion that, uh, work is a grind and you always have to find chances to keep yourself entertained and engaged outside of work. But you’ve blended everything together into this beautiful life where you’re doing exactly what you wanna do every day. And continue to, I, I imagine you’re, uh, probably not envisioning hanging up your microphone and, uh, just sitting on a boat or, or surfing every day either.
Well, I’m, I, I live on a ship and I could be, you know, I could be relaxed on a ship if I wanted to. I’ve got a, a beautiful ship that I own. And, uh, so I could do that, but you know. I’m right here and this is my, uh, let’s see my third podcast, I got another podcast. I got another clubhouse, another seminar tonight, and I’ve already done another presentation this morning. So I keep a full day doing what I love doing. And I’m researching and writing in between that writing articles or researching, and people say, well, that’s a bizarre thing. You don’t need to do that. You’re independently wealthy. You know, people, why do you do that? And I say, because I can, there was a time when I couldn’t, I didn’t read, I had a speech impediment when I was a child, I was told I would never be able to read, write, or communicate, never mind.
At 18, life changed. And I, I got the opportunity to discover that I could learn and I could discover that I could speak properly. So I love doing it. It’s been a dream of mine to do that. So I don’t have a desire to get away from it. I don’t need a break from it. People ask me, what do you do to chill out? I go, I don’t need a chill out. Chill out is for people that have money morning blues, Wednesday hunts, thank God. It’s Fridays and week frigging ends. And they wanna take a break. They wanna take a vacation and they wanna get retired. I have no desire for that. That’s none of that is in my vocabulary.
You briefly mentioned that that difficult circumstances you went through in your youth, and we can read more about that on your website. And I’m curious, I mean, you are a pretty, pretty high motor guy here cranking day in, day out for years and decades. Do you think that, um, that difficult beginning served as some type of catalyst that to, to burn the flame, uh, that continues to burn for, for years and decades later?
Well, no, when I was a kid, I don’t think it’s just that when I was a child, I was into baseball from age four, just almost four years old, three something to four to about 13. And I loved baseball and I was pretty diligent at playing ball, whatever time. I mean, I, my glove and my ball in my hand, sometimes. Baseball was very important to me then surfing at age 13. Well, I, I started surfing at nine, but at age 13, I really took a, took, you know, serious engagement of it. And for the next five years, until I was 18, I went on to surf in, you know, 40 foot waves and got in some surf movies and woo magazines and stuff. I, I, I went full on into it and lived in Hawaii on the north shore surf pipeline and beach, and why may bay and out re and all kind of places.
But then I found out at age 18, well, actually a week 18th birthday, that by a speaker I happened to attend and listen to which I never did, but , and this guy inspired me to think that maybe I could overcome my learning problems, learn how to speak properly and read properly and, and become intelligent. I was body intelligent when it came to surfing and sports. I just wasn’t intellectually intelligent, but I had a void there and I had a drive there and I thought, wow, that would be great if I could read properly. So I, I picked up my first book and the guy, a book I picked up was Chico’s Organic Gardening and Natural Living because the hippie on the front looked like me, cuz I had long haired and the beard at the time. And I thought if that sucker can write the book, I bet I could read it.
And that was my first book I ever opened up and try to go for page. and try to go back and learn how to read. And that was a slow, steady process, but I eventually conquered it by memorizing day in a dictionary until I was, my vocabulary was strong enough to pass school and I returned to school and now I’m a scholar. So, you know, if you stay with something that inspires you, that tie in your values, eventually you gain a specialty that leads the field. So I I’m, I’m absolutely important. I am absolutely certain how important values are. I just happened to find that that was my highest value from that day on. And I, you know, I, I had a fantasy about being an international sex symbol, you know, like a Hugh Hefner or something like that. But I find no evidence of that. , there’s no evidence of that. So I don’t go by, I don’t go where I don’t excel. I go where I do excel. And then where I excel is learning and reading now in teaching today,
Um, that’s an important clarification point, even though you, you put it as a joke. If we’re going through this exercise and trying to determine our values and our, our highest calling and we get diverted or distracted by a fantasy, um, there must be a way to correct. Correct course. And you realize that you weren’t destined to be, uh, the next Hugh Hefner. And so you kind of like lock down and, and uh, turn back onto the, the appropriate road. Um, how might someone do that? If they’re some, there’s some delusional or things that are in the mix, like
Really simple. Okay.
It it’s really simple. Anything you need motivation to do, is not you And anything you hear yourself saying should ought you supposed to God, to have to most need to ain’t you. And anything that you’re not consistently spontaneously, intrinsically driven to do, ain’t you so pay attention to what you’re doing. Your life, demonstrate your values, your actions speak louder in all words. And the only reason you have words that don’t match those highest values is because you’re comparing yourself to the world around you and trying to get you to live in other people’s values or others to get to live in your values. Both of which are futile instead of utile And both of them will actually drain you. And they’re designed to drain you because they’re inauthentic. You know, when you’re talking down on people and trying to get them to live in your values, you’re inauthentic, you’re proud.
You’re cocky. You’re exaggerating yourself when you’re minimizing yourself and looking up to others and trying to live in their values. Again, you’re minimizing yourself. It’s not you. And so neither one of those work, but when you actually have equanimity within you and a balanced equity between you and others and see them as equals and you care enough to do what you love in terms of what they love, man, you now have sustainable fair exchange and you create an unstoppable momentum achievement. And this is where the power is. And this is not hard to do. It’s not rocket science. It simply pay close attention to your life. And most people afraid of rejection and fear of not fitting in and because they don’t believe in themselves because they’re not living by their highest values. Your confidence and belief in yourself goes up when you’re living by highest values and goes down when you’re living by lower values. So anytime you’re trying to be somebody you’re not, you’re gonna have disbelief in yourself, self depreciation. Some people call it sabotage. I don’t. I just call it feedback. It’s feedback to you to let you know you’re not being authentic.
Right. We can see how easily it is to build up momentum in that direction, because you’ve ignored your calling and your values. And so now you’ve, you know, you’ve kind of wired these paths where you’re performing below potential and you’re, you’re building in distraction every day, rather than a high priority task.
I, I had, I had dinner and lunch with Earl Maynard. Earl Maynard has been Mr. Olympus Olympian or whatever it is, uh, Universe. Pardon me, Mr. Universe twice. And he’s been a great of, you know, world class wrestler. And he’s also been the movies, been about 10, 12 movies, major movies. And you know, he said, I’m gonna body build, and I’m gonna be the most powerful and most you know, strongest man in the world. That was his goal. And he did, he became the most perfectly formed and most powerful and strongest guy that was, that lived. And it was lovely chatted with him. He’s inspired. He’s enthused. He’s grateful. He loves what he is doing. He’s present. He’s certain about his path. He knows what it is. He’s one of the more congruent people you meet. And when you see people they’re congruent, they don’t, they don’t have to question who they are.
They don’t have to, you know, fit in. They, they, they allow themselves to be themselves and they automatically lead and inspire and exemplify what’s possible for others. So this is a real, in a real gentleman. That’s really inspired what he does. He lives in Barbados. Barbados two days ago. And, um, it’s just amazing what this, what this man’s accomplished. Go, if you go look him up, but what this is is a congruency. I I’ve been studying people that are sellers, great philosophers, great religious leaders, great scientists, great Nobel prize winners, great business leaders, great celebrities. I don’t care what it is. Even super models, anything, anybody that’s going out and doing something extraordinary I’ve been watching and looking and paying attention to how congruent they are. I guarantee you congruency between what it is that’s highest on your value and your actions leads the pack.
Sure. It’s gonna be recipe for success. So I guess we should probably get some summary points for the listener to kick into gear here. Dutifully inspired. I’m not gonna say motivated, but, you know, awakened. And so I guess the first step would be to spend some time, uh, determining your true values, your highest values, what you spontaneously enjoy. What’d you say spontaneously enjoy doing every day without having to be motivated.
Something that you spontaneously do, that nobody has to remind you to do or motivate you to do that you love doing that makes a difference in the world. Cause I guarantee you that if you go do something, it’s not a narcissistic thing where you just sacrifice everybody for you, cuz you’re just, self-absorbed, that’s not what it is. The thing that you love doing most is the thing that allows you to wake up your creative genius. When a boy is doing his video games and he loves his video games, the second he conquers a game, he wants to go to a more advanced game and solve a problem of that. People who are living congruently are problem solvers. And they look for ever greater problems in the world in humanity to solve. There’s a gentleman that lives here on the ship that I live on is amazing.
He’s got 4,030 patents. He’s the most patented individual in the world. He’s a, multi-billionaire amazing guy, extremely bright guy. I mean, I love conversing with him having dinners and lunches and stuff. Absolutely. One of the brightest men on the planet and he absolutely loves it. And you can see he’s inspired. He’s grateful. He loves he’s in he’s enthused. He’s certain about his what he does. He’s most knowledgeable person in the world of optics. And you know, here’s a guy who’s, who’s doesn’t have to work. He gives 250 to half a billion dollars a year away in philanthropy and people who pursue what they love and do what they love. And they pursue a career with meaning they lead to philanthropy and people who are doing something as making money without meaning they lead to DERO D and D is, is a, is an immediate gratifying Wolf of Wall Street mentality money without meaning mm-hmm, , it’s so important to find the path of meaning.
As Aristotle said, the middle path between the excess and deficiency of vices in the virtue of the moderate temperate path of absolute inspiration. That is, that is a, that’s a very powerful tool and exemplify what’s possible in human beings. And I’ve been watching people for 44 years about values. And I I’m certain that those are that it’s worth taking the time to go on the website and do that little 30 minute exercise and do it again a week from now and a month from now and a quarter from now and make sure you really are honest with your answers, not BS yourself. If you are honest with your answers, it’ll be a gold mine. If you BS yourself, you’re gonna, I would advise you to do it again.
You get a big, big red, uh, beep at the end of your test. Hey, you’re you’re BSing again. We remember you come on now. Be honest with yourself. Oh, I love it.
IWell, if you can’t be honest with yourself, it’s because you’re afraid of what other people think about you. And you’re still subordinating to outer authorities. You’re playing second. And then instead of being first and you’re not being a leader, you’re being a follower. I don’t wanna follow a culture. I wanna lead a culture. I wanna birth a culture. And so that’s, that’s the difference. People who give themselves permission to live by intrinsic values, they have the voice and the vision on the inside louder than all opinions on the outside. But people that try to live by lower values, they have the outer voice on the outside, dictating it and they shut down their voice vision on the inside.
Beautiful. Dr. John Demartini, what a show. Thank you so much. And listeners, please head over to it’s Dr. Demartini. So Dr. Demartini.com and, and perform the exercise. That’s the least we can do. Thank you so much for, for giving this, this, this gift to everyone and, and putting it out there. There’s so much more to engage in, uh, at the website and love your podcasts. I’m gonna send people over there to the de martini show. Very, very powerful, no wasted time or energy. You’re getting some hard headed. Some of those shows are shorter in length, but they’re worth listening to two or three times, hopefully the same for, for this discussion. It was a great privilege. I thank you so much.
Thank you, Brad. I appreciate the opportunity to be on your show and thanks for the questions and thank you for giving me the opportunity to share with your, your audience. It means a lot. Thank you.
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