Get ready for one of the most unique, high-energy, and straight-talking guests we’ve ever had—Susan Bratton, an expert on all aspects of sexual wellness, sexual intimacy, and sexual regeneration!
We’re going deep into a variety of topics at a fast pace, so fasten your seat belts and open your mind to this very refreshing guest. Susan brings the heat with straight talk on stuff that we are typically too embarrassed, shy, or shameful to talk about directly. It’s time to open the floodgates and Susan is the perfect woman for the job.
The topics we’re talking about today can truly revitalize your relationship and overall life, vitality, and energy in general. Susan is an incredible resource who has written 34 books and programs, with tons of free offerings to help you improve your sex life in every way: lovemaking techniques, bedroom communication skills, and sexual vitality advice that includes Sexual Soulmates, Relationship Magic, Revive Her Drive, Ravish Him, The Steamy Sex Ed™ Video Collection, Hormone Balancing, The Pump Guide (to help males enhance sexual function), and more!
You will hear tons of practical tips on how to elevate your game in the bedroom, especially when she talks about the conflict between male and female preferences in arousal styles, as well as effective methods for sexual wellness, biohacking, and regenerative medicine to regain function in areas most of us assume just fizzle out and diminish with age. Susan even confides that she, at age 61, is having the best sex of her life so she definitely knows what she’s talking about! You will learn, laugh, and may even learn how to save your relationship if it’s on the brink in this episode—enjoy!
Our culture is very uptight, in general, about sexuality. Susan talks about how to enhance your sexual life, even as we age. [00:46]
There is often a mismatch in libido in a relationship. Men’s arousal is differently timed than the woman’s. [07:15]
The woman needs to be relaxed and it takes her 20 to 30 minutes to get aroused. [11:09]
Does working on the sex part of the coupling lead to a healthier relationship in other areas of communication? [17:39]
It is important for the male to understand the emotional and physical “mechanics” of his female partner. [22:35]
Women are responsive. Men are spontaneous. [25:44]
You can keep your genitals in good working order your whole life. [30:19]
Susan got into this field of study because of her marriage turning sour in that area. [35:44]
Repair and regeneration are available in many different ways. [42:06]
Is libido dependent upon psychological factors, rather than the physical aspects? [48:36]
Susan maintains her health by using a Vasper machine. [50:31]
If you keep the body temperature stable, you can perform vastly more work. [56:23]
The communication in the bedroom improves when you can eliminate the hesitation, shame and guilt you have been carrying. [58:32]
How does pornography and masturbation fit into this sexual communication? [01:06:40]
What about frequency? [01:13:33]
Libido equals health. [01:19:55]
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- Brad’s Shopping page
- Sex Life Bucket List com.
- Buy Flow Now
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- Vagina Device
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People will suffer through a lot of other uncomfortable issues in their relationship if the sex is great.
Welcome to the B.rad podcast, where we explore ways to pursue peak performance with passion throughout life without taking ourselves too seriously. I’m Brad Kearns, New York Times bestselling author, former number three world-ranked professional triathlete and Guinness World Record Masters athlete. I connect with experts in diet, fitness, and personal growth, and deliver short breather shows where you get simple, actionable tips to improve your life right away. Let’s explore beyond the hype, hacks, shortcuts, and sciencey talk to laugh, have fun and appreciate the journey. It’s time to B.rad..
Hi, listeners. Get ready for one of the most unique and high energy straight talking guests we’ve ever had. It’s Susan Bratton, and she is an expert on all aspects of sexual wellness and intimacy, sexual regeneration. And we are gonna go deep into a variety of topics at a fast pace. And it’s so refreshing to see someone that just comes straight out of the gate, guns ablazing, talking about subjects that we generally are uncomfortable, too, shy, insecure, feeling shame and all kinds of weird emotions.
The repression that the culture in society has programmed into us, uh, since we were, since we were small. And now it’s time to just go to town and get into these important topics that can revitalize your love relationship and your overall life and vitality and energy in general. And Susan is a resource like no other. She has created 34 books and online programs, a lot of free downloadable PDFs, many of which she mentions in the show. So check out the links or just connect with her in general at susanbratton.com. Sign up for her newsletter. And she mentions all kinds of great resources. She has a steamy sex ed video collection. She has a pump guide for males to enhance their sexual function. She has little downloads titled things like Thrust in Time, Revive Her Ravish Him. And during the show, you’re gonna get a lot of practical tips about how to elevate your game in the bedroom, especially when she talks about the conflict between the male and female preferences and arousal styles.
So, man, it’s time to up your game and learn exactly how to please and arouse your female so that sex can be better for the couple and females and no shortage of tips and tricks and techniques. Also, you’re gonna learn about these three legged stools. The first one is to how to get your female to the most pleasurable experience, because that is often compromised, again, driven by cultural programming. And then you’re gonna learn the three-legged stool about how to healthy, have a healthy, vibrant sex life. And that would be your sexual techniques, your bedroom, communication skills, and finally your sexual wellness. And that’s where she opens up the door to talk about the amazing world of, uh, biohacking and regenerative medicine to help you regain functions that we generally regard as just getting diminished and then fizzling out as we age chronologically.
And here she is talking about at age 61, she’s having the best sex of her life. Everything’s working fantastically. And this comes from a woman who was honest and authentic sharing about how she had a dead end in her marriage and they were contemplating divorce. The sex life was fizzling. And that was a big complaint and a big reason for their disconnection and dysfunction. And they reawakened it to such extent that she made this her life’s work a couple decades ago. I don’t think there’s anyone better to listen to, and we’re gonna laugh along the way and learn a lot. The one and only Susan Bratton my great pleasure to introduce her to you, Susan Bratton. I got you. And I am so excited to connect with you. Thank you so much for joining us.
You have caught me in your lab, Brad.
Indeed. Which is not easy. <laugh>,
You’re a high energy human. And if my listeners are not familiar with your work and your style, it is time to buckle your seat belts up, people <laugh>. And I think my, um, my favorite starting point here is how, um, our, our culture still is so uptight and, and backed up and sort of rudimentary about the subject of relationship intimacy. And so I wanna give you great credit for blowing the doors wide open. And here we go. We’re gonna start our engines and start talking about this and make sure, see if we can get a better life out of it.
That sounds good. Yeah. I think things are changing rather quickly, actually with regard to that, but there’s still a lot of shame and religious repression and lack of education, which creates not enough knowledge, which generates fear. There’s a lot of performance anxiety. You know, all of those things really. But, but what’s beautiful is that we humans, we want loving, connected, intimate, passionate, love making. We crave it. We want it. And so for, and what’s interesting too, Brad, you said something earlier to me just before we started the show, that your fans are peak performers and so are mine, especially healthy ones. You know, I like to fish where the fish are. And the fish are healthy people who believe in personal development and who want to live their absolute best life passionately. Like, that’s my people and your people. Because the people who are fit and health, libido is the same, same side, the other side of the same coin as your health. You just don’t have a libido if you’re not healthy. So the people who are healthy and have desire and know that they’re performance oriented, they’re the people that are like, oh, teach me sex techniques. Teach me bedroom communication skills. Teach me about sexual biohacking. Teach me sexual regenerative therapies. Those are my areas of expertise. And they are smack dab in the middle of peak performance.
Yeah. And I guess you kind of have to break free from that hectic high stress life where you have your litany of excuses and things that get in the way. And so intimacy is pushed aside. Um, and I don’t know how to kind of, um, hack that problem because I do when the Yeah, yeah. Let’s, let’s hear it. ’cause when the topic comes up and you know, I get into discussion with people who’ve been in a long-term relationship or what have you mm-hmm. <affirmative>, um, usually get the sense that, oh my gosh, you know, that’s on the back burner because we’re still arguing so much about our credit card bill.
Yeah. <laugh>. Yeah. Well, they say sex and money, them’s the, them’s the rubs, aren’t they? <laugh>? Um, here’s what I’ve found. And, and though I support gender expression across the rainbow sparkle spectrum, most people, the large majority of people are in heterosexual monogamous relationships. There’s a dude and his lady <laugh>. And so if you’re not in the dude and his lady category, you’re gonna get 99% of the benefit of this conversation. But it’s just easier to have the male female paradigm conversation. And really what you ask me, which is what so many people ask is, there’s a mismatched libido in our relationship. Mm-hmm. And it’s, it’s often that the man wants more sex than his female partner. But less and less that’s the case. I’m seeing more and more where women are frustrated with their malebo partners. And, you know, testosterone’s been taken to nose dive.
We’ve got a lot of toxic situations in our food and water and air supplies, and it’s taken us all down. So certainly what we have to be doing is working out every day, eating well and detoxifying, no matter who we are, because we live in the world today. And those things all affect us. But if you look at why it is that it’s so common that men want more sex than women do in long-term relationships, why is it so easy for her to give it up and why can’t he? It’s a couple of very simple things that are totally easily fixable. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> number one, <laugh> number one is guys are lucky because you get a, a flush of testosterone in the morning. And if you’re healthy, which your listeners are, there’s morning wood, and you men are kind of biologically wired to masturbate on a daily or multi-time weekly basis.
That’s very normal. Because you’ve gotta keep your sperm topped up and fresh in case there’s a possibility for you to, you know, generate your biology. These are just, these are basic biology things. And then you have something called fast acting hemodynamics. Your penis gets hard really fast compared to your female bodied partner. So she doesn’t have as much testosterone. She’s not masturbating every day like you are. ‘Cause she’s not, she’s not demanded of her biology. She goes into her, you know, cycles. And honestly, women run with the moon their whole lives even after menopause. And her, though, she has the same amount of erectile tissue in her genital system. She’s got three erectile chambers. You have three in your penis. And if you, if I, if I had your listeners imagine a banana, half of a man’s penis, that’s, that’s his penis, half of it sticks out of his body, but half of it goes in and down toward his testicles.
Double the size of what you see and peel that banana. It’s all erectile tissue in there. Mm-hmm. So there’s three straight shots. So you’re always thinking about sex. And then when you think about sex, if you’re healthy, you get a hard on and you’re ready to go. She’s got a little bit different arousal cycle, if you will, or arousal ladder is what I like to call it. Number one. And you mentioned this stress. Our arousal begins in relaxation. Mm-hmm. And so many of our partners are already ready. They’re already turned on, and they’re trying to get us turned on, push our knobs, and spin our dials and get us going when actually the very first thing that we need is to be relaxed. And he’s like, but if I relax her, she’ll fall asleep. She won’t after a while because she’s gonna start liking sex with you again.
So the the, the number one thing is that it takes her 20 to 30 minutes to get all the blood flow into her vulva that’s going to make sex feel as good for her is it does for you. Hmm. The reason she stops wanting sex is that it doesn’t feel as good to her as it does to you, because it’s often been rushed and it’s been rushed because women are conditioned to do what they’re supposed to do, like good girls. And if he’s got an erection, he needs to have intercourse. We have this religious lineage of sex is for procreation only. And so intercourse is really the only thing that sex is all the rest is foreplay. Well, it turns out the foreplay is all the stuff that we need to actually get turned on for intercourse. Mm-hmm. But it’s skipped because we’re trying to keep up with our partner rather than our partner slowing down and getting us where we need to go.
So we wanna ask him for sex again. And so those are honestly the most common things. And so the two things I tell couples to solve this problem, well, the first thing is slow down, turn around and come and meet her back where she is right now that you’re like, oh, okay, I didn’t even realize that. All right, great. Number one is getting your woman to allow herself to slow down and receive the pleasure she needs to get turned on. And the pleasure that she needs to get turned on is three critical things. The very first is kissing. And if she doesn’t like to kiss you, you guys need to work on your kissing because it is super important. There’s a three-legged stool. There’s so many in the world that are, you know, the three-legged stool is the most stable platform. The three legs of the turnon stool for the ladies is kissing, breast play.
And women are ashamed of their breasts. They see all these perfect fake boobed pictures everywhere, and they think they’re saggy boobs or their small boobs or their two big boobs or whatever, because estrogen makes us very judgmental because it’s the molecule of protection and safety. Because we females are prey, not the predator. And so we look at our bodies and we judge them and you know, we, we don’t let you touch them. And then we miss number two thing that turns us on. Those two things, stimulated, start getting the blood flowing into all those erectile tissue systems of our vulva. So if you take that banana and you turn it into a circle and make a point at the top, you peel back the skin from between her legs and stick it in there around her vagina, that’s what her erectile tissue system looks like.
It’s as big as your banana right in there underneath the skin. But the problem is that we, we think it’s just the tip of the clitoris. And we’re, we’re oriented toward stroke that clitoris really fast, get it going, give her an orgasm, and then penetrate her long before she’s ready. And so when we have this notion that sex is intercourse and everything else is foreplay, and we miss all that, and we don’t have the kissing and the relaxation and the breast pleasuring, and then the yoni massage, the manual pleasuring of her vulva, the mons, the outer lady of the inner lady of the fore shed, the clitoral hood, not just the tip and the entrance to her vagina when she gets all of that tissue pleasured. When you have a yoni massage practice, Yoni being the Sanskrit word for the female genital system, you know, I could say vagina, but that’s only one part.
And it’s kind of like focus on the, I could say the clitoris, but it’s not the tip. And that screws people up. I could say the vulva, but that’s just the outside, it’s the face of her genital system, not the inside. We really wanna get into the whole erectile tissue, the clitoral, urethral and peroneal sponges that are in there. If I took those out and I had you hold your hands open your palms open, like a beggar with a bowl, I could lay all that tissue on her on your hands and it would cover your hands. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> with erectile tissue, that’s probably likely never been completely engorged more than once or twice in her life when she was super turned on, had a long make out, had a Yoni massage, or had some incredible oral pleasuring or whatever it might be. And so that’s number one.
Number one is getting her erection ready. Number two is she needs a lot of novelty and variety, romance and pleasure, you know, things outside the bedroom as well as inside the bedroom. It can’t just be grab her and stick it in. And often that’s what she feels like it’s for her. Mm-hmm. And so these are the tricks. Do fun things. One of the things I just created was something that’s, it’s a free download. It’s called the Sex Life Bucket List. It’s at Sex Life Bucket List com. You could put it in your show notes. And it’s 48 erotic play dates when we get out of this mindset that we’re gonna have sex and that means intercourse, and that means he’s gonna penetrate me again and I still don’t have orgasms from it, and now I’ve gotta do it because it’s my duty and he’s gonna be a grumpy poo if I don’t.
It gets away from all of that. And it starts to make sex a fun, exploratory learning experience together that increment increments your skillset. You find out the things that might be of interest to her. Oh, you mean intercourse, orgasms are a learned skill. Well, I’d like to learn that with you. Okay, honey, let’s, let’s learn that. And these are all, I teach all of these different 48 things, but it gives you a place to start to reinvigorate the novelty and variety of your sex life. So you feel like teenagers again. So once you know, okay, I gotta slow down and really get her lady boner and I gotta do some fun stuff, I gotta show up not grumpy and that I haven’t been getting sex feeling in my victim mentality, showing my anger. The two allowed male emotions, which is a disservice we have to men. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> nobody’s fault. We just didn’t know what we didn’t know. When you get going on those two things, all of a sudden she’s making dates with you.
It seems like just being aware of how things work, as you just described, could, you know, lead to a breakthrough. And I’m also gonna ask you like, how important is this healthy sex life to a winning relationship? And I wonder if you have naysayers saying, wait, Susan, I’m still talking about the credit card bill that I asked about, you know, many times back and how therapists spends so much time just getting couples to communicate. But you mentioned that word that you know how to hack things. And it occurs to me that like maybe a couple could jump right to this, even though they still have a lot of excess baggage and things that are, they’re facing with everyday life. But if they could rekindle a healthy sex life, maybe some of those conversations about the credit card bill and the, you know, the nuts and bolts could go a lot better.
That’s right. Exactly right. Of course. Yeah. I mean, people don’t, people will suffer through a lot of other uncomfortable issues in their relationship if the sex is great. <laugh>,
I wonder how common that is. It seems like it would be incredibly uncommon. I don’t know, maybe, maybe I’m off great sex, think generally people relationships.
Yeah. I think generally people aren’t having the kind of sex they deserve to have. Certainly my fans and followers are because they’re active learners and they’re trying new things and their sex life is important to them. And they’re finding a way, for example, to get their wife to be willing to try new things with them. Opening her to her sexual potential. Being her sexual trainer. I literally have a program that’s called The Seduction Trilogy, that’s three books and audio books. And it’s how to be her. it’s Seduce Her Tonight, the Seduction Accelerator and how to be Her Sexual Trainer. Like how you can show up as the man that’s gonna allow her to surrender to her pleasure so that she can expand her orgasmic potential and her joy and heart connection with you. And it’s step by step by step.
Guys really like steps. They like just tell me, I love to work with men and I don’t work with anybody one-on-one. Now I’m a publisher, passionate love making techniques, bedroom communication skills, and I teach sexual regenerative therapies and sexual biohacking. And I’d love to define the difference for your audience of those two things if we could parking lot that. But, what I do is I, I give you the steps, I tell, I explain what it is and give you the steps so you can go do it. Same with a program I have called Revive Her Drive. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And each one of these things that I’m talking about, whether it’s the Seduction Trilogy or re revive her drive, there’s a lot of free things that you can get. There’s always more that you can buy. But I give away so many techniques because our sex life is so, um, there’s a lot of, we have a lot of fear around our sexuality, around our, our sex life, around our performance, around our connection, around our wanting and our desire that I have found that when I can give you something.
So if you go to Seduction Trilogy, you get a, an ebook called More Sex More Often, that teaches you how to make smaller offers to your woman. ’cause when you offer her sex and she’s like, not even turned on yet and you’ve got a raging bar, she’s, she’s a no. And so then you’d feel rejected and you feel like you’re unwanted and then you stop asking, and then it creates the divide. And she wants to have hot, passionate sex with you, but you have to slow down and come meet her. Right. So, uh, you get more sex more often there. And then with Revive or Drive, I give you three reports. Um, the 21 mistakes you may be making that are ruining your sex life. And, um, a number of different techniques so that you understand how to meet her where she is and move her forward.
Um, just, you know, kind of stop shooting yourself the things you’re doing that are shooting you in the foot and how not to do those. And what to do instead is basically what it’s because, um, I always say that when you got married, if sex was good when you got married, you can get it. You can not only get it back again, but have a renaissance in your sex life. And you can do that a couple times in your marriage. I mean, you’re married 10, 20, 30, 40 years mm-hmm. <affirmative>, you, you, like any couple, you go through stuff, trees fall on your house as it were metaphorically. And so, uh, you gotta be fixing that stuff together. And it happens. So people have illnesses they have to recover from. I mean, that just, you know, that ruins everything for a while. Hmm. So I really like to give people what I call little hinges that swing big doors. Right. Oh, wow. I did that one thing and I got a great reaction. What else does she have <laugh>?
Yeah. It sounds like we’re getting some, some important takeaways, especially males. It’s time to elevate your game from just being <laugh> wanting it more than your, the than your partner not really paying attention. And it seems like what you described on the female side of having that lack of deep fulfillment and feeling obligated due to cultural programming and what have you, um, that could possibly even be subconscious. Like the female not, might not even be aware that they’re just not in the mood that much, and the male might not know why. And I think it comes to back to your work where if a couple could so much is just download some of your, some of your things and, and learn about, you know, the, the, the males gotta gotta raise their game and do more wooing throughout the day and then spending more time to <laugh> get that arousal on the female clock rather than the male clock.
Yeah. It’s funny, a lot of therapists use my programs because they’re not taught any of these things in school unless you’re a sexologist. And sexology is more for fringe cases, edge cases. It’s more for like gender dysphoria or weird kinks and fetishes or, you know, people who seek sexologists for their problems tend not to be your basic dude and his lady. They tend to generally be people who have even harder issues mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And so there’s just this paucity of knowledge in the marketplace about how to, what he needs and what she needs. One of the things that I’ve created is some, and I don’t mean to be constantly talking about my programs, but it just cut for me sometimes. I never mentioned a single one of my programs for some reason. I’m just thinking about certain things that I’ve created today because they cut, they fit into a jigsaw puzzle.
You know, my first, this is my second career. I’ve been doing this for two decades. I became a sexpert because I didn’t wanna have sex with my husband anymore. Hmm. I never had an orgasm from intercourse. I learned how with him, we figured it out. Then I went on to teach so many people and I said, we have to start a company teaching people how to transform, having sex into making love that’s passionate, love making, that’s pleasurable for both people. It’s so easy to learn. Let’s put this stuff on the internet. And, so I’ve written a lot of books and programs over the year 44 <laugh>. And, um, one of them is how to ravish him and how to ravish her. How does a man want to be made love to and how does a woman want to be made love to?
They’re very, very different. And one of the core things is that he wants you to touch his penis right away. It’s very soothing to him to have his penis touched right away, because then he is like, okay, everything’s gonna be all right. Right. He’s, he’s calm, more calm. But she does not wanna be grabbed by the yummy. Hmm. That’s the last thing. She’s not there. She’s, you gotta start with the outside. You gotta stroke her hair and kiss her and play with her boobs and rub her back and rub her feet and, you know, work for your way from the outside in. I call it my bullseye touch technique. You don’t shoot for the middle. You work the outer rings in. And that’s what warms us up. ’cause we’re not where you are. We didn’t have all that testosterone. We don’t have a raging heart on.
We’re not super horny every day. But we, we are what is called responsive more than you are, which it, you are called spontaneous <laugh>. You know, sometimes we’re spontaneous, but mostly we’re responsive. But most men have to be ready when the woman is ready. ’cause you never know when it is. And so you can pretty much give it a go twenty four seven. You are on call where she’s not mm-hmm. She needs to be moved toward her pleasure. Uh, she needs to be calmed because she’s the prey, not the predator. Mm. She needs to be brought into her body. She needs to be made love to. And that’s just like, once you start to understand that, like, oh, geez, I guess that’s true. You know, now you’re, now you’re saying it makes perfect, you know, <laugh>.
Yeah. It’s, it occurs to me that the, the male needs to be calmed too. And I learned, I think Dr. Cate Shanahan explained this, that, um, arousal is a parasympathetic, uh, function. And then orgasm climax is sympathetic, but you start in parasympathetic state. So somehow some way the man has to leave his stressful workday behind. And typically it’s pretty easy. I remember hearing my first episode with you and my favorite quote, ladies, you gotta smother that smother that lady. I’m like, oh, okay.
Did I say that?
<laugh>? So we have, we have, for me, we have spirit for, you know, we have spirit, uh, bedroom techniques going on. So the man has to take his time and do all the caressing and stroking. But it, did I take that right? That the, a hot tip for the ladies if they want to up their game is to just go for the bullseye.
Well at least just start with your hand on his penis. <laugh>. It could be, yes. Go for the bullseye. And, and, and it could be one of the, my favorite foreplay, and I don’t even like the word foreplay and sex as, you know, I want, it’s all sex to me. But, um, one of my favorite kind of warmups that really helps a woman get turned on is when you kind of are sitting side by side, lying side by side. And she’s stroking his penis while he’s kissing her and playing with her breasts and pleasuring her nipples. And they can talk and they can tell each other how much they love each other. And, you know, the verbal encouragement and adoration and appreciation and the relaxation and the kissing and the fondling. It lets you kind of get connected and it calms him because he’s getting touched on his penis.
And it starts that kissing and nipple. It’s called an ubert erection. [inaudible] means from the inside out. Hmm. And so often we just are like, I’m just gonna stick my tongue on her clitoris, or I’m gonna rub it really hard, or whatever, you know, just the tip. And it doesn’t get all the other tissue engorge. But when they, when you do the kissing and the nipple play, it, it sends the blood down into her pelvic bowl and it really helps get her juices flowing. And that’s what women, women really struggle with. They struggle with getting the juices flowing. They struggle with loss of lubrication. They struggle with painful sex, incontinence, and difficulty to achieve orgasm, increased difficulty achieving orgasm. And I’d love to touch on some of the biohacking side of things too, because I think for many people they’re like, well, all that’s well and good, but it hurts my wife to have sex. So like imm basically done and that mm-hmm. That’s true. And that’s not true at all because there’s so many things you can do and they’re so simple. So I think we should touch on that if you wanna, but I’ll go wherever you wanna go.
I think, that’s the end of our show listeners. I want you to go, and if you’re listening as a couple, put it on pause right now and go lie down and do what Susan described, and then we’ll check back with you. Okay. We’re back to the show with Susan Bratton. Thank you <laugh>. And how did that go for everybody? No, I’m, I’m seriously, so, , it’s really wonderfully encapsulated and that little description you just made could bring couples back together. And it seems, seems like you can have fun and curiosity and, and try something out in a low pressure situation. You can blame it on Susan if things go go south and you can listen to another show or get another download. But, just, just making the effort and increasing the awareness is really important. As you talked about at the start, you know, we’ve been programmed to be uptight and shy and insecure about this subject, and now it’s 2023. It’s time to bust loose. So yeah. Let’s, let’s go into the next, uh, topic that you recommended here.
Yeah. Yeah. I think, you know, what I like to do is, I think another three legged stool, Brad, is sex techniques, bedroom communication skills, and, and intimate wellness. You have, the parts have to be working. You have to have a nice firm penis that can get hard, go soft, get hard, go soft during a love making session with without, with total confidence. You have to have your stamina. And this is all manageable. It’s not, oh, I’m just, I can’t last, or, oh, I’ve got ED. It’s all manageable. I already listed the issues for women. So, you know, the, the bedroom skills, the dirty talk, the, and I don’t, I don’t even think it’s dirty, sensual, the encouragement, the worship, the adoration, the appreciation and all those things are so, you know, the feedback, what do I want today? What’s, what’s going on with my body?
What are you in the mood for? Oh, I had a sexy idea. I thought we could try, you know, that’s as important as the, I understand how to give a Yoni massage or a lingham massage. The lingham being the penis. Um, you know, I know how to stroke a penis and make it really, really nice for him. And he loves it. I know how to put my hands on her vulva and get her fully engorged and give her lots of orgasms before I ever pleasure her orally or penetrate her. I mean, these are learned skills. So the third leg of that stool, a solid sex life, is the notion that you can keep your genitals in good working order, your whole lifelong. And how, how long what, how long would you like to live, Brad, what’s your, you know, what’s your kind of health span number?
Oh, my intention is to go to 123. The current record is 122. Okay. And I’m gonna form the belief that it’s as easy as 1, 2, 3. So that’s my answer. Love that. And we know love that we have the, that we have the potential to do it. I’m not gonna join Dave Aspry living to 180, because I think, uh, that’s BSn<laugh>. But I do, I do believe that our intentions and our, our belief systems are gonna help us toward longevity and perhaps even sexual health. Like, you know, not getting hung up about performance and just letting it go will predict success the next time rather than, you know, allowing these, these, uh, you know, beliefs to form that you are, um, you’re less than or, or whatever’s going on that you’ve had, uh, past experiences that have been suboptimal and you’re carrying those with you in a backpack.
Yeah. Oh, I love your answer. Um, a couple things.
And will I be able to get erections at that age, Susan, that ’cause I better, I better know what, what I’m headed here. Yeah, yeah.
A hundred percent. Oh, for sure. <laugh>. Yeah. Yeah. I’m gonna, I’m gonna tell you how to do that.
Yeah. And I wonder, te tell us, and then do you get pushback from like other resources that think that your sexual health just fizzles out along with your general health when you’re 70 or 80 or 90 and that’s the end?
Well, of course that’s, that’s the ages, you know, current paradigm. But what I like to do is, I like the reason I asked how old you wanna to be. And I loved your answer. ’cause I knew it was gonna be badass, Brad. I know it was gonna be B.rad..
It’s just realistic, that’s all.
I love it. <laugh>. Um, and, uh, what I like to talk about is we talk about extending our health span. And what I like to do is talk about ageless sexuality, expanding our, our sex span, having great sex till the day we die. Because ultimately your sex life is very similar to your personal growth. It’s the other side of that same coin too, where, um, sex keeps getting better and better the older you get at 61, I’m having the best sex of my life. My biological age is, um, 43.5, and I’m trying to get that down below 40 right now. And I think I’m moving that needle down. I’ve been doing some new things I’d love to tell you about the end. But there’s two different things that you need to think about. There’s sexual regenerative therapies which bring you back to full function.
And by that I mean the full function you had when you were 20 or 30, I don’t mean full function of a 40 year old, same as anything else. You can, you can be back to the, all the other people in your cohort, or you can go back to how you used to be when you were younger. And that’s the, that’s the place I strive to stay, to go and to stay. My physical health and my sexual health and my mental health. And so that’s the sexual regenerative. It’s getting you back where you were. Then there’s what I would call sexual biohacking, and that’s taking it to the next level. Now I’m a keynote at Dave’s conference next month. And, uh, I’m gonna be doing something called Susan’s Sexy Show and Tell, it’s my sexual biohacking toolkit. And, um, what I have done is I’ve essentially created, I, I’m like a bio. I have like bionic genitals, <laugh>. I’m really my genitals are incredible. I am a peak performer, <laugh>, I have 20 kinds of orgasms. I have a full and voluptuous vulva. I’m massively well lubricated. Sex is so pleasurable for me. My erectile function is off the charts great. And so is my husband’s. And he’s, his penis is bigger batter, better than ever, ever. Incredible. ’cause he and I are sexual biohackers. So we’re beyond where we were in our thirties.
Yes.Just stop for a moment and mention how you guys were, um, at a dead end apparently. And this is what launched you into this career. But at what point was that how long you’ve been married? The sex was stalling and you were even considering splitting up because of this. Tell us about that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. This year, we’ll be thir in June. Next month we’ll be 30 years married. I’m 61 and my husband will be 60 this year. It we were 40, 42 when our marriage fell apart after 11 years of being married. So when I was 42, I couldn’t have orgasms from intercourse. By the time I was 50, I was having amazing orgasms, but my body was starting to fail because of a gluten intolerance. I got rid of the gluten and built back better, like Biden, <laugh>, <laugh>. I always love his phrase. And, um, I’m stronger than I’ve ever been. My DEXA scans show my, my muscle going up, my fat going down, my bone density going up. You know, like if dexa, if there was a DEXA scan for orgasms, Brad, oh my God, I’d be blowing up their buses. <laugh>.
So how did I do this? How did he do this? What do we do? Well, there’s a stack, you know, anytime you’re talking about regenerative therapies or stacks, you’re talking about multiple things that synergistically work together to res restore you to health. Mm-hmm. Certainly the very first thing is that I work out every day. The second thing is that we take nitric oxide supplements. We actually have a supplement company because we realize how important it is. And I am an organic girl. So I make an organic nitric oxide booster called Flow. I’d love to send you some. Mm-hmm. I’ll give you a link to put in your show notes. It’s Buy Flow Now. You can get it there. That’s my podcast or discount, one for listeners so they can get the cheapest rate when they hear about it.
And that’s the ground zero for genital function is you’ve gotta keep your nitric oxide systems topped up because we have less nitrites in our vegetables. Even if we’re eating the leafy greens in the beet root, many people have ruined their oral microbiomes through antibacterial mouthwashes. So they can’t convert the nitrites to nitrates. And then a lot of people have acid reflux. They’re taking proton pump inhibitors and acid blockers. So they’re ruining their gastric juices. So they can’t convert the nitrates to nitric oxide, so they can’t get the blood flow where they need it to go. So I talked to a lot of men about getting off of Viagra, Cialis, la Vitra, et cetera, by topping up their nitric oxide, or at least lowering their dose to micro doses sublingually, so they don’t have to have the side effects of Viagra with the headaches, et cetera.
Hmm. But I like guys to get off of Viagra completely, if possible, by adding on Gains Wave treatments or using something like the Phoenix at home device. The Gaines Wave treatments are superior to any at-home device because they are. And I wanna let you know that I am a spokesperson for Gaines Wave and Femme Wave, which is the female equivalent, and also for the Dr. Joel Kaplan vacuum erection device company, the penis pumps. Because I went to them and said, I need, I love what you are doing so much. I wanna be out there telling people about it. I’ve got a big, I’ve got a big profile. I’ve got a lot of fans. I’m intimacy expert to millions, and it’s for realsy. And, I really want people to know about this. And they’re like, oh, wow, that would be great. What is a spokesperson?
I’m like, I don’t know, but we’ll figure it out. And that was four or five years ago. And I have great relationships with ’em. I help, I have helped so many people find their way to these therapies. They didn’t even know they existed. So they, they deal with, you know, like, oh, I guess I just, I guess I’m broken. No, you’re not. You are repairable. And that’s what regenerative therapies do. Like Wave and Femme Wave, their acoustic wave applied to the genital tissue that stimulates new tissue growth. Throw on a penis pump from I, there’s a pump I like called the Whopper. And I have a, I have a book called The Pump Guide. It’s a pumping guide.com that’s had over 40,000 downloads. Mm. I’ve gotten so many thou, you saw me on the Mark Bell Power Project talking about how effective penis pumps are for not only reversing atrophy, doing the regenerative piece, but moving you into biohacking by increasing the size of your manhood.
They’re still talking about it on the power project months later, after you left. I know every, every session they find a way to mention
<laugh>. That’s so funny. I, because it works. Yeah. and I’m glad they do that because people believe Mark and Naima and Andrew, they’re good, they’re good men, and they want the best for their fans just like I do. And so I’m glad they’re continuing to talk about it because the more people who know this 200 at-home thing, I call it hashtag self-care down there, <laugh>. And I just think if people knew about it, and you know, I have a lot of couples now where, so for, for men it’s Gains Wave and the Whopper for women, it’s femme wave and something that is called the B fit that I, that I call a vagina device. It’s at vagina device.com. Try and give you as many resources as I can when I’m, when I’m talking to you. And, um, ’cause people hate it when they’re like, what, what was that thing?
So, uh, the vagina device is a red light therapy device, an at-home red light therapy device that goes inside the vagina. The Femme Wave, if you can go out and get that, is more powerful. But if you can’t, it’s not near you or you don’t want to, there’s the at-home device that’s beef it, that’s a very good vagina device for increasing lubrication, reversing incontinence, thickening the vaginal mucosal lining, getting rid of that painful sex problem, helping, uh, just kind of get everything engorged and full of blood. Again, it doesn’t help with outer labia, it doesn’t help with anything on the clitoris itself. That’s why I like the Femme Wave because the Femme Wave goes on the mons, the labia, the clitoris, the perineum. It does all those things. Plus it helps with increasing your orgasmic intensity and plumping up the vulva. So it looks youthful because for us, women, just like, um, all women say, you can never be too rich or too thin.
All men say you can never have a penis that’s too big. Right. But we women want a beautiful vulva. We don’t want it to age. And femme wave actually is plumps it up again too, which is a wonderful side side benefit of a Femme Wave. So the, the nitric oxide, the shock wave or acoustic wave, the at-home devices, the Phoenix and the Vagina device, these are good things. Those are, and the pumps, the pump is just incredible. Like, if you could only do one thing, you should take nitric oxide and eat your greens. Right? Like, that’s almost like a no-brainer. You can only do one thing as a dude. You can’t do anything. You got 200 bucks for a pump. That’s what I like about it. For women, it’s, I think the vagina device is, is super helpful. And that’s about $400. Sometimes they have sales, but uh, you can go on there and get on their mailing list and wait for a sale.
But those two things are just incredible. And so what they really do is they can not only take you back to where you were, but they can, you can go even bigger and better. And then the last piece of it is really the P R P stem cell exosome world, right. The injectables. And I have done many rounds of P R P into my clitoral and urethral and perineal erectile tissue structures. I have a nice big fat clitoris that’s super healthy and highly orgasmic. It’s wonderful. And lately I’ve been waning on my interest in P R P and increasing on my interest in exosomes. Hmm. Because RRP is naturally inflammatory. It actually is. It uses hormesis. It creates a bit of, you know, it, it like tells your body it’s been wounded, so it comes and rebuilds
Not a bit, a lot. And that’s, that’s fine. The P R P in my heel was extremely painful. I don’t know if they do that into the penis. I’d be reluctant because of the pain, but yeah. It’s, it’s, it’s healing by natural inflammation stimulation.
Exactly. Yeah. I, um, I recently, so it doesn’t hurt as much, but you will find yourself, you’ll have a, it doesn’t hurt the P R P in your penis doesn’t hurt. Hmm. The P R P in your clitoris doesn’t hurt. Hmm. But you, I find that I have a drop in my orgasmic intensity during the healing process, and then, and then it improves. But I recently did an interesting split test. So I had this epiphany recently that I’ve, I’ve sustained some soft tissue damage recently, and I think it’s a long haul COVID downstream issue that I’m trying to repair with peptide therapy and collagen and lots of other things I’m doing for soft tissue regeneration. But, I pulled the, um, epicondylitis here, the mm-hmm. The, the medial, uh, tendon off my elbow. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> on both sides. I think I did it flipping tires and lifting too heavy a weight mm-hmm.
<affirmative> and not recruiting enough muscle and relying on my joints, and I strained those tendons. So I got ReGenX, P R P, the 16 time concentration, p r p in my elbows. And though it’s healing it very well, it was painful. My arms were on fire for weeks. It was not pleasant and it was slow. So I decided to go a different route. When I fell skiing, I fell in the super easy way. I heard my skis not, they didn’t release. I was, I was literally going so slowly my skis didn’t release. And I heard, and I went, crap. I tore both acls right at the right at the center, and just a little tear on each. So I went to my friend, Dr. Jeffrey Gross at, we celebrate in Vegas, and he put me under, and he drilled needles through my leg bones, both the femur and the tibia, right out where the ACLs He went in and right out to where, because our bones grow our ligaments mm-hmm. <affirmative>, our ligaments aren’t separate. We think about, we think about them in categories like bones, tendons, ligament, but the ligaments are actually part of the bone. And so our hope is, and I don’t know yet, see, I play with all this stuff. This is why I’m a biohacker. Uh, our hope is that my body will regrow the ligament back where it got torn by stimulating new growth right from the bone out into the ligament. So he was very precise in how he entered the exosomes in there. And the exosomes are basically in the P R P stem cell exosome category of regenerative therapy where, what it does is it’s more of a signaling molecule to your body to repair. So instead of, it’s kind of like, I call it a cleaner fuel than p r p, it’s kind of like you skip the, an inflammatory step and you just got the step where it releases the, you know, call to come repair.
And so I’ll let you know, but it, even though he had a drill bones, it was, you know, five days of some pain. Not even really as much pain as the darn P R P in my elbows. And it seems to be healing well. And so I’m gonna do a postoperative, a post procedure. It’s not an operation, it’s just a procedure. It’s just a little off tissue. You wake up and you go home. I’m going to do an MRI in a couple of months and see how much tissue I’ve gained in the ligaments, because the only other way to fix that stuff is to have an operation that’s quite invasive with cadaver ligament. And I gotta get back on the slopes. Brad. I’m getting back on. I’m on, I’m already on the slopes. I’m quantum on the slope already, you know, so I’ll let you know how it goes. Yeah. But, I’m playing with, I’m playing with the, I think the stem cells might be overkill. I think the exosomes might be the, might be the trick. So, we’ll, we’ll see what happens. But I’m a real believer in growing your body back again. Mm-hmm. Like, if I get an injury, I just fix it. Whatever it is, I am committed to repair and regeneration. I love regenerative medicine, and I love sexual regenerative medicine and sexual biohacking tools and technologies.
So that’s one distinct category is your, uh, how your, how your plumbing system is working. And then we have this concept of libido. And I want to ask you like mm-hmm. <affirmative>, is there a direct association between your male or female hormone status and libido and, and also your sexual function? In other words, is there another track that’s like purely psychological where you’re arguing too much or males, you don’t have your A game in place, and so you’re always wanting to go, uh, for, for the, for the bullseye instead of listening to Susan’s advice, and therefore libido is diminished for things independent of the physiology as, yes.
I’m not sure I understand your question. Can you ask me in a different way?
Yeah. Like, is is libido dependent upon your psychological factors as well, where you might have, you might have excellent sexual function if you went in and got tested, but your sex life is in ruins because you’re arguing too much and your technique is poor.
Yeah. The guy can get it up for his mistress, but not his wife because he’s at her. Of course. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, <laugh>, Of course. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> sex is a head game. Right. It’s not just a body game. Of course. It’s, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And, and how much is hormone, are hormones a factor? A lot of people think it’s like the factor. I think it’s a factor. I mean, your libido is a direct reflection of your level of health. So I know how healthy I am so exquisitely by my turnon when I feel good, I’m a horny little girl. When I don’t feel well, I have no interest. I can’t get it up. So I love that. It’s that my libido my, because I have a good libido and a good sex life and a great husband, and it, you know, all of that is so nice for me that if, if I’m not in the mood, I’m like, okay, what’s, what’s going on physically for me?
What’s, what’s happening? Um, yeah. So I love that libido is the other side of the same coin of our overall health. And hormones certainly feed into it. So do neurotransmitters. So does stress, so does sleep, all that stuff. So you gotta, it’s a, it’s multifactorial for sure. And, um, I’ll tell you, I do testosterone replacement, which I absolutely love. And, um, I do estrogen, testosterone, and progesterone all three. And recently I have been going to work out every day at, at my, at my studio, at my gym. And then I’ve been leaving and going to this new longevity center, and I’ve been riding Vasper machine three times a week. And that is fantastic for the endocrine cascade of growth hormone and testosterone, lowering nighttime cortisol to improve recovery. I, if you, uh, wanna meet Sebastian Wasowski, he’s the son of the founder. He runs it now. I’d love to introduce you. It’s such an interesting technology. I’m absolutely in love with it. It’s literally, I mean, I’ve worked out every day for the last couple years to recover from long-haul COVID, and I’ve been building my muscles. I’ve got, I’ve got some pretty nice muscles. I gotta show you my guns. I’m ta I’m ta I have a,
Those of you on YouTube are watching Susan Undress. Now
I’m literally taking my clothes off for you. But look,
That’s rocks rock solid. If you’re not watching on YouTube, it looks pretty good, doesn’t it? Yeah. Yeah. That’s not bad.
There’s a body on the screen right now. People
Watch out. And I’ll tell that also a nice tan for you got the San Diego tan going here. I don’t
Think I don’t think I have much of a tan. I don’t think I have much of tan. It’s probably just the lighting. But, um, I’ll tell you something. I didn’t get those guns until I started doing Vasper. And I would, what is
Vasper? Can you describe that?
Yeah. I’m a tall woman. I’m five 11, so I’m, I’m tall. And so, you know, when you’re tall, it’s harder to build big muscle, right? You’re, you’ve just got these longer muscles, shorter people do better bulking up. So I’ve never been, I’ve never been big, strong, bulky. I’ve never popped a bicep in my life as much as I’ve tried. Mm-hmm. And I worked out religiously for the last two years every single day. Except the days when I’m either traveling or not feeling well enough or what have you. But I work out on a daily love it. And I started doing Vasper a month ago, and all of a sudden, all of my body just started popping, popping. I couldn’t believe. And what’s, here’s what’s interesting about it. So what Vasper is, it’s kind of like a Nordic cross meets an Xer bike that does high intensity interval training.
You do sprints. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> 20 minute sprints. They say it’s a, you know, it’s, it’s a piece of exercise equipment. And, they say that it it’s like a 20 minute workout. It’s like an hour’s worth of working out in the gym in 20 minutes. But what I really like it for, it uses blood flow restriction, the cat two bands strategy, but it cools down. You sit on a cold seat, your feet are on cold pedals, and you’ve got blood flow restriction on your upper arms and your upper thighs that is cooling the blood in your extremities, slowing down the return to the hearts to increase lactic acid. The lactic acid is what your pituitary gland uses as a signal to release growth hormone. So really body building, muscle building is the biggest benefit of muscle building is the release of growth hormone testosterone, the entire endocrine cascade that comes from building muscle.
And what I love about it is that it, when you build muscle using Vasper, it lays new muscle tissue on the muscle tissue. It doesn’t tear it down like weight, weight-bearing stuff does, it doesn’t do hormesis. I tear it down to make it bigger. That’s what the pump does. That’s what almost everything does. It’s like it da it does a little damage that you heal to make it stronger. So the Vasper is building muscle on my muscle, all over my body equally. It’s not like I am doing isolated bodybuilding. It’s more like it’s going everywhere. It’s laying down muscle everywhere. I’m absolutely in love with that thing. And I, after I do it, you lay on a mat for 10 minutes, a cold mat, and then I go into the cryo room. It’s negative 124 for five minutes. I chill everything down, which has been great for the inflammation from my skiing accident.
And then I go lay on something called the Novo, which is a red light bed. It’s kind of like the old tanning bed. It’s got the clam shell you lay down in, but it’s infrared. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> light. And that stimulates the mitochondrial growth. And it, the three of them have really begun to repair my skin damage from COVID at a level that nothing was fixing it. And now my skin is starting to literally unwrinkled before my eyes in a single month. So it’s very seldom that you find modalities that are visibly working, that you can feel and see in such a short amount of time. And so I was excited to tell you about it because I know you have so many fitness enthusiasts that are your fans. So I just, I, you know, I’ve got no association with the company and spread the word. Do you have any injuries?
That’s interesting, the use of the cold temperatures on the seat, the pedals, whatever. Because, uh, we learned from the R T X cooling glove research that if you keep the body temperature stable, you can perform vastly more work. Because the one of the key, perhaps the key driver of fatigue during exercise is your body temperature elevating your brain’s very, very sensitive. And it will shut you down as anyone who’s run 10 miles in the hot sun. And they go slower and slower. You will, you will turn down all athletic performance mechanisms when your body temperature climbs. So if you’re able to work out in that chamber and then go straight into the cryo, you are literally reducing the overall stress impact of the workout while still giving your body workouts. I don’t know anything about it, but it’s, it’s sounds like a great idea on the surface to, to bring cold into the mix. And my own personal relevance, it’s like when I’m sprinting and it’s really cold out, of course, you have to warm the body up so that you don’t damage your joints connective tissue. But then the workout is much less stressful. And I’ve worked out in 32 degree, sunny, warm, I mean, sunny, sunny weather, but, you know, very cold, freezing cold. And the sprinting is much easier than even an ambient temperature of 72, or let alone anything that’s near warm, your body just tires out so quickly.
Yeah, yeah. Beautifully said. Thank you for adding that, you know, additional insight into why it’s working so well. Yeah. It’s, it’s, it’s some cool stuff. I love all of these new, you know, like the vo, the live O twos and the cell gyms and the, I mean, there’s just so many new, the A T X or whatever it’s called, the, there’s just so many new, uh, strategies to help people who, especially people who haven’t, who don’t have the luxury to work out every day, who, um, mm-hmm. <affirmative>, you know, feel nervous about going into a gym to work out. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> don’t know the first thing about putting themselves through a program or what have you. It’s, we are blessed with innovative biohacking technology in this day and age right now.
And back to the bedroom, everyone where Susan’s is most comfortable. So that first three legged stool. Yeah. Uh, we had the kissing, we had the, uh, playing with the breasts, and then the, yeah. What was the third leg?
Pleasuring, the external, uh, Yoni. Oh, yeah. So getting the blood flowing to the yoni from the outside, not just from the inside. So you’re doing it from the inside out and the outside in.
Right. And then the other three-legged stool was getting your sexual technique optimized, um, bedroom communication skills. Yes. And then sexual wellness where you went off into the, the biohacking sphere. But it’s appealing for many listeners to realize that, you know, the most leaps and bounds, it seems like the communication and just opening up the privacy and the hesitation and the shame and the guilt and all, all these weird things that we attach to sexuality would be a fantastic first step like you did with your husband. And so maybe take us back a little bit to the point where there was some frustration exasperation at your dead end, and then something, the floodgates opened until, until present day at 61 when she’s setting records for her orgasmic test results.
<laugh>, I love it. You’re such a good summarizer. Um, <laugh>, I’m really enjoying doing this show with you. Thanks so again, so much for having me. Oh, you’re really, you’re a really great host. Yeah.
I mean, if, if anyone’s bored right now, I mean, you could be a, a number of things, maybe alarmed, shocked, <laugh>, whatever. But if you’re bored, you got real problems, people. So let’s keep listening. We’re having a great time here. Super important topic, too.
One of the things that I found is that people can really handle the truth. We have a society that we avoid, we whitewash, we stuff, we work around, we stonewall, we do anything. But tell the truth. When my husband and I were going through this crisis, this marital crisis, where we were thinking, should we get a divorce? And then we said, well, let’s try and fix it. It’s our sex life. Let’s see what we can do. One of the things that we’d done at that time was we’d read a book by Brad Blanton called Radical Honesty. And we said, boy, in order for us to fix this, we’re gonna have to tell the truth to each other, no matter how hard that is for either of us to hear what’s going on. And we just started getting really, really honest with each other.
And honesty is a funny thing. It’s actually the hardest part about being really honest, is it’s two things. Number one, it’s breaking the habit of being a frigging liar. You lie about stuff all the time, we’re societally conditioned to just gloss over, stuff it, hide it, change it. Oh, it’s fine, no problem. Se secretly you’re seething. You know, that kind of thing. That’s number one. And number two is that it’s our own picayune foibles. It’s our own, you know, greed, embarrassment, you know, it’s all of our own issues that we wanna lie and cover up our own imperfections that we wanna cover. It’s usually not the stuff about our partners. It’s usually our That’s easy
To talk about <laugh>
When we get honest. Exactly. So we just started getting really, like, radically honest in a kind and positive way, but we practiced honesty, and that’s what really opened things up for us in the bedroom. So one of the little books that I wrote that I give away is something called The Sexual Soulmate Pact, P A C T, after decades of helping people, giving them ideas. So what happens when you, so my business is really, I send out a sex tips newsletter, and anybody who gets it, if they reply to any email that I send them, it goes into my inbox. I have a care team that’s been with me for over a decade, but I get all the personal replies and people are like, Hey, can I ask you a question? Yes, of course. You know, tell me the story, what’s going on? And I give them advice.
And my number one thing that I write is report back. Like, go try this thing and come back to me and tell me how it went, because I’m learning from your experiences. I’m not a therapist. I literally publish passionate and write passionate lovemaking techniques.. This is what I do. So I collected the, what I call the six essentials for connected sex sexual soulmates, the six essentials for Connected Sex. And the one most important of the six essentials is this Sexual Soulmate Pact. So I carved it out of the book, you can buy the book on Amazon or whatever, but I carved it out and they give it away for free at Sexual Soulmate pact, p a c t.com. It’s like an agreement between partners. And what it really does is it fixes the problems that hold us back from saying what we need to say.
I don’t know what I want, so I’m just gonna keep my mouth shut. I’m, I’m not happy that I can’t, I don’t have a better idea, so I’ll just shut up. I’ll put up. I’m afraid to hurt my partner’s ego. So if I say something to them, they, they cave, they, they, they get crushed that they contract, they get at me, it’s not worth it. So I just keep my mouth shut. You know, there’s like a million reasons we just keep our mouth shut and put up, and that doesn’t make hot sex. And that’s what I like to do. I like to make hot sex for everybody. So the Sexual Soulmate Pact does a couple of things, and you can download it and read it. It’s a short little book. It’s a little hinge that swings big doors. It really helps you and your partner if you read it together and you’re like, let’s, okay, I’m committed.
Let’s give it a try. Let’s practice this. The number one thing is that we have to tune into our bodies more and know that what we want in every moment is constantly changing. And that what we had and worked last time isn’t gonna work this time. And that we’re always a new person every day. We’re always learning, growing, aging, accelerating, opening, you know, whatever. And so, it’s just what’s happening right now for me today. I don’t, I don’t like you to have your finger in my inside my vagina, but the last time I wanted all this massive g-spot pleasuring, you know, it’s like, so you’re not doing anything wrong. Everything is always right. I’m just telling you what my body’s saying it needs. And when we can both get onto that page, like there, it’s no blame game. It’s just information. It’s not failure, it’s just feedback.
And you get hungry for the feedback. And when you get feedback from your partner and you just say, thank you, thank you, is the simplest thing in the world. We need to hear that to be encouraged to keep telling our truth. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, so that gets you over the, I know what I’m doing, or, oh, no, I thought I was doing it right, but you’re always telling me I’m doing it wrong, or whatever. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, it gets rid of that piece of it. Right? So the Sexual Soulmate Pact is an agreement between couples, does what I call explodes passionate love making. And I think that’s the honesty. And honesty is a practice. It is a learned skill. We don’t learn it in our society at all. We don’t learn it in our families. We don’t learn about sex, and we don’t learn about honesty anywhere.
We have to decide. We wanna be the people who are authentic, vulnerable, honest, and ask for what we need. This is another issue. So many of us are so afraid that we won’t be loved if we stand for ourselves. Like, you know, when you do that, it doesn’t work for me. Instead of, well, I just tried to make him happy, even though it made me miserable. Like, who are you helping? You’re not helping yourself and you’re not helping them because now they don’t know how to make you happy because you didn’t tell them. You just are sitting there being miserable like a freaking martyr. Nobody likes a martyr. And so it just gets rid of all this crap that we’ve kind of societally and systemically inherited that we must cut the cords on to live our full expression of self in our joy and connection.
Boy, if you can build the skill of saying thank you in the bedroom under sensitive circumstances. ’cause I think it’s as a highly sensitive. You could benefit greatly from, you know, leveraging that into the kitchen when you’re loading the dishwasher wrong. And instead of getting into the, you know, the little dynamics that we, we do that are so dysfunctional, let’s, you know, let, let’s, let’s take it and, and, and run with it. Yeah. Beautiful advice. I love it. Thank you. Uh, early on, you talked a little bit about masturbation is natural. Yeah. And the man wants to do it more than the female. And, uh, John Gray, the great author of Men from Mars, Women are from Venus series.
Yeah. Good friend.
He had some interesting comments really strong about the adverse effects of masturbation and pornography today relating to your, you know, flooding the dopamine pathways and making, uh, real sex, uh, less fulfilling, satisfying, you know, causing, um, uh, you know, impotence and erectile dysfunction. So I wonder how you, uh, feel about this hot topic today, especially when I think a lot of relationship dysfunction goes and default, you know, detours into the world of pornography and, and artificial <laugh> gratification, right? Yeah.
Yeah. I think that, I agree with John about pornography, flooding the dopamine receptors, making it more and more difficult to have an erection in real life with a real person. I think pornography is big media that definitely, prays on, um, people’s need for short-term masturbatory release. Um, and, you know, it’s like everything in moderation. But I feel, I think I said earlier that all, all we need is within us now as far as our sexuality. Uh, it’s, it’s really that our desire, if we allow our desire to build within us and to bubble up, we’ll, think of the things that will be pleasurable for us without even any outside influence or recommendation. If we understand that pornography is performative, it’s patriarchal, and it’s doing a disservice to women, it’s showing, I mean, Time Magazine had an article a couple of years ago where they sample a researcher sampled, uh, 340 random clips of pornography, and 96% of them showed acts degrading to women.
And that’s where kids are getting their sex advice now. And it’s a shame. I created a program a few years ago with Jaya called the Steamy Sex Ed Video Collection. It’s eight videos I’ll send, I’ll send you a copy. I have a digital, and I also have dvd, because honestly, we still don’t have broadband in America in rural areas. Mm-hmm. We’re still working on our infrastructure. And so not everybody can digitally download stuff. So there’s a lot of people out there who still need things on DVD. So I still provide it because I like to reach, reach everyone. And, um, it’s eight videos with over 200 passionate lovemaking techniques. They’re heart connected, loving depictions of sexual techniques. There’s like 40 oral techniques for her, 40 oral techniques for him. There’s sex positions for pleasure. There’s sensual massage and orgasmic massage. There’s all these different things.
Technique after technique after technique that I built for couples to watch together. When you watch it together, it’s, they’re relatable couples demonstrating the, the techniques, and you can tell they’re enjoying themselves. And it’s not, it’s not performative, it’s illustrative, it’s sexy, but educational. It’s steamy sex ed. That’s what I called it, because it’s that, and couples just love this because it gives them ideas. I still to this day will watch it every, you know, year or so, and just like, I just wanna check in with this and, you know, kind of watch it again. And I’ll say, oh my God, I never saw that technique before. I’ve watched this so many times and I still forgot about this technique. And I’ll do it to Tim. And he’ll be like, I love that. So you can only take in, you can’t take 200 things in at once.
So it’s I say to couples, like put on the central massage one start. Don’t think you are an advanced lover. You’re not. Start with the, the video number one, turn it on, put it on your big screen, on your TV in your bedroom, if you have one or whatever in your living, lay your lover down. You can turn the sound off, put your music on, and just follow along with what they’re doing and do it to your partner and tell them what you’re doing. The mind body connection is powerful. Just like when you’re lifting a weight and you’re going, I’m recruiting my bicep, not my elbow tendon, you know, <laugh>. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. This, he’s touching my inner labia. That’s what that feels like. So then the next time when you’re like, wow, I loved it when he was stroking my inner labia so gently, just up and down, almost like you were tickling it underneath a kitty’s chin, and you can say, can you tickle my labia?
Like that kitty chin thing again. That felt so good. And so what we do is we teach lovers to increment their skills and name them. Pick out your favorites. They all have names. It doesn’t matter if you name them our name or another name, but so you can call like, you know what I’d really like? I’d love you to do that. You know, Lord of the Rings. It’s, uh, mm-hmm. <affirmative> wrapping one finger around the base of the glands of his penis and the other around his testicles, and then licking both parts <laugh>. It feels so good to guys, it’s so delicious to them. And they’ve never had that done because you’ve never thought of it. You know, this is like one of 200 things. So there’s a difference. To me. There’s nothing wrong with watching other people make love and learning techniques. There is something wrong with binging an addiction on pornography, or not putting time into your sex life because you didn’t learn how to make love to your partner. So you have to watch porn to because you’re filling the gap for the, the connection you don’t have in your relationship. Stop doing that. Take that time to focus on your relationship. Instead. It’s, it’s not a crutch, it’s a, a road to ruin, right? Mm-hmm.
<affirmative>. Very nice. How about frequency as it relates to the gossip world as it relates to, you know, optimal sexual intimacy as well as through the age groups? ’cause we’ve read even the, the Daoists texts are, you know, saying this many times a week is optimal in your thirties and then less in your forties and less in your fifties. I wonder where you stand on all that stuff.
Yeah. That da is 2000 years old. Brad Uhhuh
It’s just as old as the, the, the Masters and Johnsons crap. Come on. So
We don’t have to, we don’t have to retain our semen anymore. We can, we can let it flow.
There are some men, when they, it brings them down. It make it, they’ll literally cry. It’s depleting to them. That’s not most men. Everything on sex is a bell curve. And the big bell curve in the middle is, I like to or get off every day and ain’t nothing wrong with it. So, um, <laugh> to each their own, there is no perfect. Everyone is different. However, how often should you have sex a week? Here’s the only thing I know. I love sex now, and I used to completely avoid it. I gave my husband mercy sex. I used every trick in the book not to have it. It wasn’t my libido, it was shame sex. Hmm. I wasn’t having good orgasms. Why would I wanna have sex? I learned how it didn’t take long, and it’s been getting better ever since. And now, unless I don’t feel well, I want my man. So you’re busy. How many times can you even squeeze it in? Can you make some erotic play dates? Can you, what’s on your sex life bucket list? You know, what kind of techniques do you wanna learn from your steamy sex ed video? Like when you start having play dates and learning, you are naturally gonna want more sex. But here’s what I look at the living to 123 strategy, the Brad P one twenty three, as we now call it <laugh>.
Here we go.
There was a study and it, 3,500 people were shown pictures, photos of human beings between the ages of 18 and 80, and asked to guess their age. And of the all these pictures, there was this group of people that everyone kept guessing 10 years younger than their age group. And they called these people the super young, and they could not figure out what the correlation was until one day they said, we figured out what it’s, these are the people that have intimate relations three times a week. And I’m like, okay, well that’s all I need. I’m gonna look 10 years younger. And if you look at the Dunin pace report, which was the longitudinal study out out of New Zealand, that tracked what it takes to what are the biomarkers of the super lo, the super livers, the super long livers. It’s, um, grip strength, balance, standing on one leg, cognitive function, sharpness, and looking younger than your cohort.
So, I mean, I’m always working on my grip strength. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> <laugh>, we’re always working on standing on one leg and bouncing a ball against the wall and, you know, all that kind of stuff. Right? Uh, so, and my, what I do keep, I’m writing three books at one time. I got no mental cognition problem. I got one little thing, I have a problem from a TBI and that’s it. Hmm. Uh, so looking young, I wanna look young. I wanna be beautiful and sexy till the day I die. And I hope the orgasm is what kills me. <laugh>
<laugh>, boom. Drop the mic.
Oh my gosh, Susan, I
Did say, I did say intimacy. I didn’t say sex, because when I say sex, people think intercourse. And there are people for whom intercourse is off the table for some reason or another. And now go back and listen to the regenerative therapy thing, because you can fix what’s broken 90% of the time, right? Mm-hmm. But I have a technique called the magic pill method. It’s at magic pill method.com. No surprise. And it’s for people who stopped having sex because of a health issue, mental, physical, it’s all interrelated. It’s all one ball of wax. And they just stop being intimate at all. Like, I don’t wanna touch her because then I’ll start something or I can’t finish, or whatever. And so the magic pill method is a structured process for helping couples come back from ceasing their intimacy, to come back and figure out what’s still on the table?
What can we do? What did we used to do that I miss? What, what could we go and get fixed so we could do this thing again, et cetera. And so I really like to use the word intimacy rather than sex, because I don’t want people to think intercourse is the only thing that can keep you young forever. You can have lots of orgasms without penetration, but you can fix stuff and have penetration, and have penetration orgasms, and learn how to have them and love to have sex as much as your male bodied partner does. It’s just a learned skill.
You mentioned so many links and opportunities. Can we go to a single resource to connect with you and get your newsletter and then the downloads, the courses learn all about?
Yeah. Yeah. You can go, any one of those things that you opt into will get you on my newsletter, and then that’ll take you back to my website and, you know, so anything I said, that was the thing for you, and that’s why I drop a lot of stuff because everybody’s at a different place. I want the sexual soulmate pact. I want the pumping, God, I want a bigger penis. I I want the, I need the magic pill method, you know, whatever. It’s, I like the sex life bucket list. I think those are the ones I mentioned. Yeah. Any one of those will get you on your, the list. You can reply to me anytime. I’ll happily answer any questions that you have. But my main website is personal life media.com. Mm. My video website is better lover.com. You can get all my email lists there, both of those places also at susanbratton.com. So, uh, I, I’m pretty easy to find on those interwebs. Brad,
You got a lot of URLs. You are, you were that me to the game. Fantastic. <laugh>. Oh my gosh, what a, what a wild show. We went in so many directions. It was really, really fun and interesting. You’re, you’re right there on the cutting edge. You know, I think maybe the most profound thing that you said is libido equals health. Yeah. And I don’t think the medical community, we don’t talk about that enough, but it’s like the best proxy for your overall general state of health, fitness, peak performance. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, especially when the human’s deepest biological drive is to reproduce. We’re just animals, as you’ve said on some of your shows in different contexts. But yeah. if that’s suffering, I don’t care how far down the road you are with your fitness regimen and your nitpicky diet, this is something that’s super important to reawaken people in the name of general overall health, happiness, longevity,
Definitely. Okay. Yeah. And it all starts in your gut.
Uhhuh, If we don’t have that going, right., we’re right. We’re in trouble, huh? This is, that’s
Where, that’s the foundation,
Because of the impact on hormones. Neurotransmitters, or maybe you should give us a little blip about that.
Just everything. I mean your gut microbiome, which feeds your vaginal microbiome, your prostate microbiome, your breast microbiome, it feeds your brain. It’s everything. So if it’s off, then you’ve got a cascade of poor health. Everything starts there. So it’s, it’s really about and I honestly think that detoxification is key these days. We are assaulted so we can be eating as well as we can and all that kind of stuff. Honestly, when I go out to eat at a restaurant now, I don’t feel well. And I, I don’t think a lot of people cook their own food anymore. Yeah. I don’t even like to eat. We ate, I, we took my daughter out for, to the restaurant last night because I didn’t, we were leaving this house to go to our other house, and I didn’t wanna go to the grocery store. We didn’t have anything left, and we’re like, let’s just go out. She sneezed 30 times. And I was like, my tongue feels weird. Mm. You know, it’s just crappy food. We’ve gotta, we’ve gotta, we’ve gotta feed and nurture ourselves. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, stress, detoxification and gut microbiome. It’s not, it’s not really your hormones. That’s a little tiny piece of it. You could have, you could have gone through menopause, have no, have no estrogen left, have a little tiny bit of testosterone, and still be a corn dog if you’re healthy. Right?
Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, Susan Bratton, and everybody <laugh>.
I know. Brad, we could go on forever.
I’ll come back’s. Stay, wrap. Wrap. Oh yeah, we’re gonna come, I come back. We’ll, we’ll, we’ll noje with questions and, and get you on back. You’re fine. We’ll do a, we’ll do a Susan Q and A <laugh>. Ask her anything. You can, you can send it to us and we’ll, we’ll compile them and go to town. Thank you so much for spending the time. That’s
My favorite. Great. It was a real pleasure to get to know you, Brad. Thank you. Right
On. Thank you so much for listening to the B.rad Podcast. We appreciate all feedback and suggestions. Email, firstname.lastname@example.org and visit brad kerns.com to download five free eBooks and learn some great long cuts to a longer life. How to optimize testosterone naturally. Become a dark chocolate connoisseur and transition to a barefoot and minimalist shoe lifestyle.