As we know from the mechanizations of the three components of the stress response (stimulus-perception-response), it’s not what we are faced with as much as how we respond to it that determines our ability to cope with hectic daily life. Mia is asked if she was born chill or can it be a cultivated skill? The discussion will get you thinking…Do you have a tendency to be reactive? Can you consider some ways in which you might benefit from regulating your emotions and responses to every day life stressors?

Mia admits that even while growing up, she was always pretty mellow and even-keeled. However, that’s not to say she hasn’t had her moments – because some relationships unfortunately cause both parties to bring out the worst in each other. With the resolve to learn and grow from all manner of past experiences (especially stuff she resolves to not repeat!), Mia has managed to stay pretty much consistently chill. While it helps to have an innately mellow disposition, it’s also a conscious decision that Mia makes every single day to not react or behave in a negative way. Mia talks about the work ethic and cheerful disposition she learned from her dad, who worked as a tax preparer in the evenings after coming home from his regular 8 to 5 work day. 

Office environments can certainly be stressful, but since Mia learned long ago the importance of not being reactive, she has been able to help her colleagues foster effective communication and coping skills by empowering them to see things through a new perspective and think through their plan for action before they actually act. As Mia explains,  

“I was so drawn to the book The 4 Agreements…because it is kind of how I live my life already, and maybe that’s why I am so chill. I don’t take things personally – that’s one of the things that people do that causes them become reactive and stressed….” 

How does Mia suggest other people cultivate and maintain their chill? By, “not taking it personally, not making assumptions, and knowing that other people are always doing their best. I’m not going to be like, ‘oh this person should have done this, or this person…’ I can’t do that, because they are doing their best with the tools they’ve been given.” 

Do yourself a favor and see how your life changes when you are able to both cultivate and maintain a chill attitude. Don’t let yourself get too stressed about the inevitable distractions of daily life. Don’t take things personally. Make an effort to form true connections with people, and disconnect yourself from all the unimportant stuff. Do the best you can. We’re all trying to do the same, every day. But you can make it easier for yourself to do the best you can by adopting a non-reactive, chill mindset.  

TIMESTAMPS: 

Brad and Mia discuss her level of “chill”.  [03:02] 

It is important in relationship or workplace to listen before you react. [08:59] 

One of the things people do is take things personally and that causes them not to be chill. [11:21] 

If you can’t do anything about a situation, just chill! [13:00} 

Try not to get too stressed about the inevitable distractions of daily life. [14:52] 

LINKS:

• The Four Agreements 

LISTEN: