Get ready for a unique and interesting show with my former podcast guest, Jake Steiner!
Jake and I were recently talking about how much content is out there in the podcast world, and how easy it can be to fall behind, as it can get pretty overwhelming trying to keep up with the massive amount of information that is constantly coming out. This conversation inspired Jake to come up with the idea for this episode: what if we did a show featuring only the most fascinating information from past episodes, so people could get inspired by a wide range of insights from a diverse pool of guests?!
Jake ended up being the perfect co-host for this show. Not only is he such an interesting guy, but he is also passionately dedicated to his great movement with endmyopia.org, and in this episode, we get to know him a little better, especially by the end. It’s a different kind of show, featuring a wide variety of insights from all kinds of interesting people like John Assaraf, John Gray, Mark Manson, and Dr. Herman Pontzer, so I hope you enjoy listening to some of the most memorable moments we’ve had with guests on the B.Rad podcast.
Brad is picking out tidbits from his memorable podcasts with the encouragement of his guest. [01:34]
We need to take a new look at how we deal with our eyesight. A little bit of blur, a little bit of challenge keeps the eyes fresh and responsive. [08:03]
John Assaraf, on his podcast with Brad, talked about goal setting and getting out of your own way. [11:20]
The roles of women and men have changed over the years creating new dynamics in relationships. [17:31]
The way we find partners is so drastically different these days. [30:46]
Self-worth is an illusion. And it’s actually a form of persistent low-level narcissism. [32:27]
We burn the same number of calories every day no matter if we are exercising or not. [44:21]
All the different dietary theories boil down to one thing: Get rid of the junk foods: processed foods, refined carbohydrates, refined sugars, grains, and industrial seed oils. [54:14]s
It is easy to be caught up in purchasing things when trying to keep up with others. [01:10:57]
- Jake Steiner Podcast
- John Assaraf Podcast
- Brad’s Morning Routine
- John Gray Podcast
- Beyond Mars and Venus
- The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k
- Mark Manson Podcast
- Dr. Herman Pontzer Podcast
- Paul Saladino Podcast
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Brad (1m 33s): Hey listeners, enjoy a very unique and interesting show with my let’s call them my co-host in this case, Jake Steiner, former podcast guest, talking about his wonderful operation, his mission and myopia.org, and how to improve your vision and escape dependency from glasses. Great show, go listen to it. But we were just talking about the glut of content in the podcast scene and the overwhelm when there’s so many interesting shows that you might want to listen to, but you can’t seem to keep up. And he says, Hey, how about if we do a show where you offer up your favorite insights of some of your favorite insights from past guests, Hey, sounded like a super idea. Brad (2m 19s): So I went back and pulled out some interesting and memorable insights of a diverse nature from the hundreds of guests that I’ve had on the show and ready for action with Jake and boy, what a wonderful job he did as host. I told him he’s a natural, he should start his own podcast, but he’s committed to his mission of helping people improve their vision naturally. So we get into these tidbits of advice and insights from some of my favorite and most interesting guests like John Asaroff, John Gray, Mark Manson, Mia Moore, and Dr. Herman Pontzer. And I put together a whole bunch of suggestions, different guests, and we only got through way through the list. Brad (3m 1s): And so he’s committed to come back for another show and we’re going to talk about more insights, but I love the back and forth and the great observations that Jake had in response to the insights that I pulled out from these guests. We got into some commentary about healthy relationship dynamics for a while, prompted by me highlighting the John Gray interviews as some of my favorites and the essential male and female assignments. You can go back and listen to my John Gray interviews or my breather show summarizing my John Gray insights. But Jake had some really interesting things to say. And then as you continue to listen to this unique format, we get into some Jake Steiner action at the end and getting to know him a little more. Brad (3m 44s): I thought it was a really fun show. I think it’s a fresh change of pace from hitting hard in an interview with the talking points and proceeding in a linear manner. And boy, I hope you feel the same as me. What a wonderful experience with Jake Steiner all the way over there and Thailand. So we’re connected over zoom and bring you some memorable insights from past podcast episodes. Here we go. Jake (4m 11s): Who I see Brad, Hey, Hey, I was in a different meeting. Brad (4m 18s): Oh, I think maybe that, that I invited you to. Jake (4m 28s): So now who do we want to do? Should we do your meeting now? Brad (4m 33s): It says I’m recording it. So that’s fine. Right? We good? No, that’s good. I like that. How’s everything going? Jake (4m 43s): It’s going, it’s going. I don’t know where he’s going. Brad (4m 49s): You’re back in the big city now? Jake (4m 51s): Back in the big city waiting to hopefully get those kids here at some point Brad (4m 58s): to get what? Jake (4m 59s): The kids that are in Myanmar. They’re trying to escape currently. Brad (5m 4s): That’s the trouble, huh? It’s hard to? Y Jake (5m 6s): eah. It’s difficult to the military has lost their mind and Brad (5m 10s): oh yeah. Jake (5m 11s): Yeah. So it’s now it’s the girl and a baby and a five-year-old kind of get out of there. Brad (5m 17s): How did you escape? Jake (5m 19s): I didn’t, I left before all that started and then COVID me from getting back there. So yeah. Yeah. I got lucky, I guess. Brad (5m 29s): Well, good luck getting them out of there. Jake (5m 33s): Yeah. Let’s hope so. Yeah. But I appreciate you doing this. Cause I think I’m curious how this works out because the thought was this I’ve done all these podcasts. Right? Like, and so I keep telling people, right? Like we’ve been on this podcast and people go, yay, great. But most people don’t listen to it. Right. Because they know what I’m going to say. And then I started doing this thing where I’m like, let me know what your favorite episodes are and I’ll recommend those, but it’s still considering how much audiences and considering how much clicks there are and stuff, the podcast amount, or never getting that much exposure. And it bugs me because it feels one sided. So now what I’m thinking is I’m having the same problem. Jake (6m 16s): Cause I’m like, Brad has a great podcast. Right. And I have a sliver of time to listen to episodes of something. Right. Yeah. But then you’ve got almost 300 episodes. I’m like, what do I pick based on the title. And so I’m thinking realistically, like if we’re having a chat, like we were just, you and I are talking, I would ask you like, what is, what’s your favorite stuff? Right? Like what of all this? You talk to all these people. Right. And everybody’s trying to sell something. And some people are interesting and some people are less interesting and there’s gotta be some percentage of stuff where you go, this grabbed me like on a personal level, I’m like this did something. Jake (6m 58s): Right. And that’s kind of what I’m thinking is if we have a however long or short of a chat of you just going of of 300 people, I’ve talked to, here’s the things that stuck in my head as affected my life or changed what I’m doing or made me think about stuff. I’m thinking that’ll get more people to go. I’ll listen to that. Right? Brad (7m 21s): What a great intro. I’m recording that even though we didn’t intend to that’s perfect. And that that’s what this is all about. It was, it was a great suggestion. And so I went back into the archives and pulled out some super interesting memorable insights. I think it was supposed to be 10. It might, might be 11, but since you’re one of them on the list, you don’t count since you’re you’re the, the host or the co-host of the show. So we’re going to hit this thing. I think in alphabetical order would be a good way to go. And I’m, I’m happy for the opportunity because man, there’s been some that, you know, are really life-changing insights when you, when you go and take action. Brad (8m 1s): And just to skip to, to, to your show for a moment, you know, these concepts were, you know, pretty foreign to me in my whole life. I’ve never heard of such a thing. All we’re told in the, in the traditional realm of optometry ophthalmology is that you go there and put these glasses on and everything looks clear. And so you’re good to go for the rest of your life. You just have to keep going in and get stronger prescription. And you know, it’s, it’s hard to second. Guess that until, you know, he’d take a few steps back and say, oh, my eyes are locked in a, in a, in a spasm every time I put my glasses on. And so they become weaker and more susceptible to decline accelerated decline. Brad (8m 42s): I’m not interested in that in any way, including my eyesight. So there, there we go on the list with the Jake Steiner insight. Jake (8m 50s): That’s a good one. I liked that one. Brad (8m 53s): I hope I described your, you know, your, your life’s work, this mission here it’s succinctly, but you know, help me out. If not, Jake (9m 0s): no, that works. That works. Yeah. Brad (9m 3s): And then, you know, the takeaway, cause I I’m so excited to talk to people about that and the fact that I’ve pretty much ditched two different pairs of glasses since our show on August 25th, 2020, we, we hung up the zoom call and I said, okay, I’m going to try it. And I got my eye chart on the wall and did all the recommendations, but to, to simplify it down, since we got a bunch of other stuff to cover, you’re, you’re asking for a little bit of blur, a little bit of challenge to the eyes on a daily basis. And that’s what keeps them fresh and, and, and responsive. Right? Jake (9m 40s): Yeah. Since August it’s been awhile, Brad (9m 43s): I know it’s been awhile. Yeah, I can’t believe. And so the, you know, I have two pairs of glasses. Maybe a lot of people are like this, I’m not sure, but I have the reading or the computer glasses. And then I have the distance vision glasses that I’ve had since I was 17 years old. And I typically have used those at nighttime or when I’m watching even a TV show, you know, 12 feet away or certainly in the movies. And they’ve made a huge difference between, you know, not having them, but since August and kind of putting them aside, I realized now that, you know, when I’m driving at night, which is when my vision is the worst, the difference between my naked eye and the distance vision glasses is extremely minimal. Brad (10m 25s): Like I have to keep pulling them up and down to see, oh yeah, the glasses help a tiny little bit. But I feel like what’s happened is my naked eye vision has come around because I’ve had that, that challenge for the eyes. And, you know, I don’t know if it’s ever going to get to that point that, that I enjoy when it’s corrected, but it’s certainly close enough to where these, you know, I don’t have to rely on these things or feel like, you know, a blind man when I forget my glasses during an evening drive. Jake (10m 55s): Yeah. And especially the older we get, the more that becomes, it’s one less thing that makes us feel like the old person having to reach for the reading glasses and all that stuff. Brad (11m 5s): Yeah. Yeah. So I pronounce that Jake (11m 9s): and this is my personal, this is for me also, because I’m, I’m curious for somebody who’s talked to so many people, what are the, what are the things that are going to tempt me? Brad (11m 19s): Yeah. I’m going to go, like I said, in alphabetical order and one of the guests that I really appreciate having on was this best-selling author named John Assaraf. And I hadn’t heard of him prior and didn’t realize just what a big time guy he is, but he’s, you know, a mega best-selling author. He was featured in the movie, The secret, and he’s big in the world of manifestation and spiritual psychology and also a brain training expert. His recent book is called Innercise. So I just kind of fielded an inquiry from someone on his team. And I said, sure, I’ll talk to this guy. And as soon as we got onto the zoom call, you know, you could tell certain people have an A game in about 30 seconds to 60 seconds. Brad (12m 1s): And this guy was just so full of energy and enthusiasm and his background. Not that it matters because, you know, look at my ragtag background, wherever I’m recording the show, I’m visiting family. So it’s nothing too impressive, but you know, everything in his background was super tasteful and interesting. And he had this really bright purple shirt and I’m like, oh, this guy is ready to rock and roll. And as soon as I, you know, introduced him, of course, he jumped into his, his insights. And it was a lot of, it was about goal setting and kind of getting out of your own way and getting over the hump where you wish you had a certain life, but you can’t really seem to get the discipline, motivation, willpower to, to carry on. Brad (12m 43s): And he explained that a lot of times we overwhelm ourselves and set ourselves up for failure because the goals are too daunting. But our, our rational brain, the one that sits down with a pen and paper and says, okay, get up at 6:30 AM and go to gym four days a week. And it doesn’t that sound good, you know, rationally and logically. But then when real life happens, it doesn’t feel so good. You know, w we don’t have the, buy-in the excitement and the emotional charge that’s necessary to actually, you know, stay aligned with our goals and dreams. And so his suggestion was to set these simple, doable goals that seem easy, sustainable, and agreeable such that you almost shake your head. Brad (13m 27s): Like, of course I can do 10 pushups every morning. If that’s what, you know, that’s my fitness goal. That’s ridiculously easy. But guess what? You know, let’s talk in 30 days after you’ve done 10 pushups every morning, and that equals 300, and now you’ve kind of opened this gateway where you can celebrate the success. You know, you’re going to do it. And 30 days later you can have a throw a pushup party because boy, you just changed your life. And now you became a person who’s committed to a morning fitness regimen. Despite it being, you know, pathetically small and short duration. It opens that gateway to where you say, okay, now, you know what I’m going to do a whole body weight set of exercises is going to take seven minutes. Brad (14m 7s): It’s no big deal. And this one really, you know, it, it touched me because I feel like I’ve, I’ve had certain successes in my own life using that approach, not knowing, but my morning routine that I talk about a lot and I have it on YouTube. You know, it’s, it’s grown and grown over time to this thing where now, you know, I have a four year plus streak where I’ve done this morning exercise routine every single day. It’s the anchor of my life. I can count on myself and I’m going to do it. It makes me a more focused, disciplined, resilient person in all ways. But I had to do it with sort of these baby steps where it wasn’t too daunting or overwhelming or too time consuming at first. Brad (14m 47s): And now it’s more time consuming than it started with because I’ve built it into habit. Jake (14m 53s): How much do you think of that is what he said, who he is and how he said it relative to just the insights? Brad (15m 3s): Oh yeah. That’s a, that’s a good question. And I definitely am receptive to, you know, a high enthusiasm person who’s walking their talk and, you know, has been there themselves as opposed to, I don’t know, someone, who’s a poser, a hustler, a scammer, an internet, social media sensation. Who’s, you know, taking the winning picture and then going off and living their miserable life where they’re mean to their, their staff. Who is the best-selling author? It just got out at, oh gosh, I shouldn’t even mention her name. But I remember reading, there was sort of an expose´, a story in a major media paper about this lady who had a pretty good empire with 20 something employees. Brad (15m 42s): And, you know, she’d come in and scream at everybody. And like her, her brand has now taken a huge hit and it’s kind of amusing to think like, boy, she seemed really nice on that national morning news show when she had her six minute gig. Jake (15m 58s): Right. Yeah. Brad (15m 59s): But you know, in real life, boy, it’s kind of like, you know, I, I wrote a book about Tiger Woods a while ago, Jake, and it was such a, you know, a great pleasure to dig into everything that had ever been written about him. I didn’t get to talk to him personally, but the guy’s amazing. He’s maybe the greatest athlete that’s ever lived if, from what he’s done in golf. But then as everyone knew, you know, with his personal life imploding, you can kind of sit back and go, okay, well maybe this guy, wasn’t the end all in every single way. And maybe he’s someone who could just kick ass at golf tournaments and make a lot of putts. And so, you know, it’s kind of good to keep that perspective, but yeah, when someone’s the real deal. And back to John Assaraf before we move on to my next alphabetical list of interesting guests. Brad (16m 43s): You know, as he explains, he’s made and lost a fortune, I believe three times. So he was a multimillionaire in his twenties and lost everything recent times, he’s in his fifties, but just a few years ago, he was 233 pounds and 27% body fat and had all these, you know, blood disease, risk factors. And he just turned that thing around to become a healthy fit guy. And so here he is making a suggestion about how to set goals, for example, losing weight or whatever. And it’s like, okay, well, you know, whatever you did seem to work. So I’m definitely listening more intently to, to answer your question. Jake (17m 18s): Cool. Let’s see. Now I’m going to want to listen to that. I need small goals, speaking of my mornings. Yeah. Brad (17m 27s): Good stuff. Jake (17m 28s): Yeah. Brad (17m 30s): The next guy coming to mind is the great John Gray, the number one bestselling relationship author of all time with his Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus series that first appeared in the early nineties. So he’s had this run a succession of books and, you know, he’s a prominent guy in, in that space. And he has a recent book called Meyond Mars and Venus, you know, playing off the original title. And it talks a lot about the hormonal underpinnings that influence modern day relationships and how the evolution of culture and evolution of male, female stereotypes has been great, right? Women are now trying to get equal pay in the workplace or trying to have equal status and equal representation on college campuses and graduate degrees. Brad (18m 15s): And, you know, they’re not just staying at home like they were two generations ago to, to make food and care for young ones. But when we have this explosion and evolution of culture, in many ways, it’s runs contrary to our, our deepest biological drives. And so the man is now demanded to be this emotional, sensitive, vulnerable guy who can be your confidant and, you know, be all things to his partner rather than just this grunt who goes out there and earns a living and comes home and sits on the couch and pops open a beer and get served. And, you know, the woman where her basic her basic foundation is nurturer caretaker. Brad (18m 55s): That’s her basic biological drives. And now she’s supposed to go enter the workplace, put on a business suit and kick ass. And so we have this blending of the male female roles, and it becomes very difficult to kind of sustain this passionate, romantic, winning successful relationship because of the stress of carrying this burden of trying to be all things to all people. And so John Gray makes some really interesting recommendations that may run counter to a lot of popular, you know, relationship advice, or, you know, emotional health advice. And the one that really hit me the most was where he’s saying that the man’s job in the world is to be the Kung Fu master, the calm, cool collected person in the story. Brad (19m 44s): And that’s when the female feels nurtured, cared for and protected. So the female’s deepest biological drive is to be protected by the male and the males, the strong guy that, you know, fends off the wild animal, who’s attacking the camp, going back to our primal, our genetics and our history. And today that protection must come in in the form of being an emotionally stable person, rather than a little bitchy boy who complains and nitpicks and says, you hurt my feelings when you were visiting too long with Randy at the party. And now I’m in a bad mood and I’m not going to talk to you. And those kinds of things is John Gray says, if a male says my feelings were hurt, that is death to a relationship. Brad (20m 24s): And instead his advice is to suck it up and go off and do a testosterone-regenerating activities like a hobby. Playing a video game counts, tinkering with the motorcycle in the garage, going, doing a workout, throwing some weights around, and then coming back as a well-adjusted, well-balanced person to, instead of engaging in getting into these dysfunctional relationship communications that are so common, you just let things roll off you. And you’re the cool dude in the story. And, you know, I, you know, I had a nice long conversation with him and I said, well, what about if the guy is still feeling resentful and angry about something happened? It goes, you know what? Brad (21m 4s): It goes. A lot of those situations they’re resolved in the bedroom. So he goes, men have a short memory. Just be the calm, cool collected guy. Your female will come back into balance, even if she’s yelling and screaming and doing her emotional thing at you. And if you think about it and the way I’ve kind of taken this and run with it, and real life has been a real eye-opener because in our minds, there’s always something to complain about and nothing’s perfect. And when you were in close relationship quarters amount of times, we drop our guard, right? We’re not going to be bitching out to our coworkers, but when we go home, we’re going to kind of unload and, and have this emotional dysregulation that causes so much relationship damage. Brad (21m 45s): So I’m striving to be the calm, cool collected guy who doesn’t really worry about these little things and just, you know, goes with the flow better. Jake (21m 53s): Yeah, that’s a good one. Good one. That’s my, that’s my default in general, I don’t have arguments. Brad (21m 60s): Nice. Jake (22m 0s): Like I’m friends with the friends with girlfriends that have all these debates and telling me about these debates. Am I just don’t do that. You know what I mean? Like one, if I’m emotional, I’m not talking. And then in general, I’m just like, Hey, I wait till it passes and then we’ll be fine. Brad (22m 15s): That’s fantastic. And is this, this is the way you behave. And is it also the way you feel inside, in other words, are you controlling yourself with your good skills or is it really something that doesn’t bother you? You know, the difference I’m talking about? Jake (22m 32s): Yeah, for sure. I think it bothers me a lot, but what I found from the younger me is the things you say in those moments, all of them, you wish, you didn’t say. You know what I mean? Whether it’s making you look weak or whether it makes them look bad, like all of those things and you can’t unsay them now, they exist in that space. So I just, I wander off and there’s been times where I’m just literally gone for even a couple of days. Right. And then sometimes it gives the other person also time to think, okay, if he’s not here, how do I feel about that? Right. It gives them enough time to go appreciate that. I enjoy their, their presence. And then we’re fine again, much better than, you know, having this, this thing that, yeah. Brad (23m 18s): Yeah. I mean, John Gray talks about how, if you engage in these emotional drawn out arguments, conversations, the male’s testosterone tanks and for that is a slippery spiral downward because when you are a low testosterone male, when you’re dysregulated with your hormone balance, that’s when you become the bitchy boy. And you know, we have this classic example of here’s the aggressive driver. He cuts you off in traffic. He flips you off. And you’re like, Hey dude, you got too much testosterone settled down, but it’s actually the opposite. That’s someone who’s indicative of hormone imbalance and inability to control emotions. And I guess just to jump to Mia Moore, one of my favorite guests, she’s been on a couple of times, that’s my wife. Brad (24m 2s): And we had a talk about relationships in real time with a real couple. And it was kind of fun to turn on the microphone with her. And you know, she’s not a experienced podcast interview subject or whatever, but she rocked a really great show. And you know, some of the insights and things that I get from her every day are really life-changing. And one of them is that there’s no kind of game playing or posturing or insincerity in our exchanges with each other. So if we have something difficult to talk about or some frustration is there, she’s going to hit me with it directly. And thereby obligate me to do the same where it’s so common in life too. Brad (24m 43s): You know, you’re, you’re feeling some tension in a relationship and you say what’s wrong and the person says nothing, or, you know, they behave passive aggressively. And you find out later that they didn’t really want to go on the long road trip after all and hang with your fraternity brothers at the river for four days. But they, you know, they didn’t want to let you down. They didn’t tell you. And then all these weird things are swirling around in the background. You don’t really know where you stand. And I think that is something that’s, you know, true, true death and destruction to a relationship is when we kind of build up these piles of baggage that go in a backpack and we carry with them. So boy, it’s really, when you can kind of leverage this when you have some good interactions and a lot of times maybe I’m expecting an argument or a remote emotional response and Mia Moore as the, you know, the resilient one where it just, you know, goes over really easily and passes really quickly. Brad (25m 40s): Then you realize that this is our, this is our new normal, right? And so, you know, these little things that happen in daily life, these little dramas or big ones, they’re just something that you can deal with rather than have them beat you down. And then you become, you know, less of a partner because you’re wounded and you’re, you know, dysregulated in that sense. If that makes sense. Jake (26m 4s): Yeah, that’s true. I also noticed my girlfriend’s incredibly non-reactive and I’ve never had a relationship where a person doesn’t take what you say and make it about them at all. It’s shocking. And I’m learning so much from this. Just anything I say, like, there’s never a reaction of, this is about me or this is about you. She’s just, she just takes it for what it is or what she heard and that’s it, there isn’t a right. Like sometimes you’re looking for reaction or sometimes you’re doing something that’s really not cool and you’re digging and just being with a person that doesn’t have that reaction to whatever you’re doing, it’s really fascinating. Jake (26m 52s): And I’m really envious of it. And I really tried to adopt more of that in my life of that. This is not about me. Right? Like, yeah, it’s really funny. Brad (27m 3s): I know exactly what you mean. Yeah. It’s and I give credit to Mia Moore and that in that same category, because we’re so used to kind of this one-upsmanship where, you know, maybe you launch a complaint and the person comes back and says, well, you know, I, I broke my back all day yesterday, helping you out at your, at your, at your bake sale and how dare you. You know, there’s always like some leverage or some, you know, some, some baggage to throw into the mix instead of, you know, being nonreactive is kind of the secret to life. Right? And so boy, when, when you’re around people like that, you, you become that way. You become the best version of yourself rather than I think we all have the possibility of becoming the worst version. Brad (27m 47s): If someone knows how to, you know, poke us in the right spot. Jake (27m 50s): Yeah. For sure. Brad (27m 51s): Good stuff, man. That’s a good discovery you made. Jake (27m 54s): Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Lucky. Cause I don’t have that. I’m pretty reactive by nature. So just yeah. Witnessing that, I’m continually fascinated by that. Brad (28m 3s): Fascinated. That’s a good word. I like it. Yeah. You’re drawn into it. It’s going to be, it’s going to be a great experience every time. Jake (28m 10s): Yeah. And I’ve read that book, that Mars Venus book way back in the day. Brad (28m 14s): Yeah. Yeah. It’s still, I mean, a lot of it is, you know, still holding really strong and simple and it can be good takeaways. And I think I’ve talked to people who, you know, outright refuted and say that it’s, you know, dated or whatever, but if it works and you know, I’ve never regretted maintaining my emotional composure in, you know, a difficult situation in life. There’s just, you know, that that’s very, very difficult to refute this idea that you want to be the Kung Fu Master and stay calm, cool and collected. Jake (28m 49s): Yeah. I feel bad. Kind of, for some of the current generation that’s discovering themselves in relationships because the times are weird. Right? Like we are in an untested part of how we do to define relationships and the new ideas of equality and what it means and how you’re supposed to act is all new. Right? Like there’s so much that at least there’s so much transition where I’m like, if I was 19 right now, that would be difficult because there isn’t really a good precedent. Right? Like it’s all shifting. So you’re, you’re looking for insight, right? Like role models, books, things. And because people will say that when you said the guy wrote Mars, Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars other way around. Jake (29m 32s): I’m like, oh, that’s going to be a rough topic currently. Right. Because there’s all of this debate on how these things don’t apply or how you can’t talk about certain things or how we’re trying to reimagine stuff. So imagine if you’re 19 right now and you’re looking for these feelings, I don’t understand them. They’re new, I’m conflicted. I’m confused. And now all of the advice you’re getting is, is kind of untested, right? Yeah. Brad (29m 58s): And maybe what you saw with your parents, your number one example that maybe doesn’t apply as much. And so you really didn’t, you know, you have role models, but they they’re they’re dated or something or there’s new things to negotiate. One thing that comes to mind for me is this modern opportunity to use a mobile app and swipe and have, you know, dozens or hundreds of options. And so it, it seems like, you know, the brain and the mindset could change to the extent that it’s difficult to value, you know, the, the wonderful benefits of a long-term relationship. Cause you’re kind of have one foot out the door because you have such tremendous power to do so. Brad (30m 39s): And I, you know, I don’t know what to say about that. There’s probably some good things Dr. Wendy Walsh was on the show talking about these dynamics a lot. And she’s one of my favorite guests at numerous shows with her. And I love how she just comes out and says, look, this is the reality. And there’s no rules here. Like there was in the old days and the old days, like if you’re a female and you’re, you’re pushing 30 and you’re not married yet, you’re looking at a lonely, you know, unfulfilling life. And of course today we can do whatever we want with our life. And that’s kinda cool for the young people that you’re describing. And my kids are in that age group, they’re in their early twenties. And so they don’t have to feel this pressure of, you know, aligning to this very narrow and linear path. Brad (31m 22s): But boy, the free for all aspects somewhat concerned me at times too. Jake (31m 27s): Yeah. And I, I can speak to that because I’ve had a swipey swipey apps installed on my phone off and on for extended periods. And it’s really like addictive behavior that I literally had to delete them because I’d make excuses while I still have some swipey app and chatting with people to myself, like I’m lying to myself. I’m like, Ooh, calming me down. And it does put one foot out the door. Cause you’re like, there is a bazillion options here, which affects your attitude and your, your, the degree to which you want to buy into a situation that is of course never going to be perfect. It was really not good for me. I had to delete that stuff. Brad (32m 5s): Nice. All right. We got a little relationship advice here on the show. I love it. Jake (32m 10s): No, not for me. Yeah. Not for me, but yeah, it’s rough. Like if me and now my kids, my, my oldest, one’s only five now, so still plenty of time for things to change, but your kids are right in that age where right. There’s nobody really to guide them that well, because we haven’t had that experience. Brad (32m 27s): Yeah. Right, right. Whoof!! Let’s see, everyone knows the mega bestselling author, Mark Manson. He was kind enough to I’m I’m sure he’s a super, super busy guy. I wrote him a very thoughtful letter about how much his books influenced my life. And he said, sure, I’ll talk to you, man. Let’s go. And he had a great show. He’s the author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck as well as the book. Everything is Fucked. A book about hope. And The Subtle Art, I think is the number one bestselling book of the decade. It is just, you know, a sensation around the world and really interesting and a lot of depth with his perspective and philosophy on life. Brad (33m 9s): But as the title suggests, it’s, you know, developing this ability to kind of disengage from all the measuring and judging forces of the modern world and just live your life, you know, in a manner that’s where your, your self esteem, isn’t tied to everything you do and who you are and what your reputation is. So I’m pulling out some great quotes where he says, look, identity doesn’t exist. It’s arbitrary, it’s a facade. And he recommends quote, maintaining an identity that is defined by as little as possible. Instead, you can just see your life as a series of decisions and actions. Brad (33m 54s): Furthermore, you know, when we’re talking about identity or self-worth, he says self worth, did I pronounce that correctly? Self worth is an illusion. And it’s actually a form of persistent low level narcissism. Wow, wait a second. You know, how are we supposed to pursue daunting goals and achieve success and go to the award ceremony and get the plaque for the third, highest sales of the quarter and, you know, get the diploma and put the tassel on your head and have a big graduation ceremony and get celebrated, or get engaged, and then go on the back of the New York Times. And you see the picture of the lovely couple and who their prominent parents are and all this kind of thing that we’ve, you know, we’ve bought into by and large. Brad (34m 39s): And boy, those are, you know, life-changing ideas. And to me, it really, really appealed to me because when I was an athlete and I talk about this a lot, I try to write about it. You know, the goal is so compelling and the lessons of success and failure are so intense and dramatic and exposed that there’s nothing like it. I think it’s a really wonderful life experience. And I referenced that time a lot in everyday life. But when you’re an athlete, it’s very easy to attach yourself esteem to the outcome of what you’re doing. And I was fortunate enough to be really successful really quickly. So all of a sudden, I went from nobody to a guy whose phone was ringing off the hook and sponsors wanted to give me money and time and energy and free stuff. Brad (35m 24s): And all that was wonderful. And then when you start doing poorly, you second-guess yourself, you get down, you get depressed. Your day is, you know, your day’s ruined. If you have a couple bad workouts, you start to get nervous and anxious about your status in the world and your, your position, your chances in the upcoming race. And so it’s a real rollercoaster ride. And I finally realized through, you know, dismal and, and distressing failure that I had to get up off the ground and just go the next day and march forward and not worry about it and get out of my head. So it was kind of exactly what Mark Manson was recommending to me 20 years, too late or whatever. But you know, this idea of maintaining identity, that’s defined by as little as possible. Brad (36m 6s): And then you’re free to just make good decisions and take action. And that’s, that’s your whole life. You don’t, you can wake up the next day and do something different and make better decisions instead of thinking of yourself as, oh, I’m a fat, lazy person. And I’m so discouraged because I I’ve tried three times to join the gym and, and stay with my program. And I dropped out. So now, you know what, what’s the use? That’s, that’s the kind of thinking that we can get away from if we just let go. Jake (36m 32s): Yeah. True. Become the art of not giving a fuck. The email introduction you did send for me to Paul. It was just amazing. Like, I, I, I, I was, it was dealing with Dan who does all the media stuff and I’m like, I wish I could write emails like that. You know, I cannot write them up like that. You’re just like Brad (36m 53s): It’s just flowing off the keyboard, like a barrage one, a one of a hundred. It just just comes out, man. Sometimes I let it flow. Jake (36m 60s): I was awesome. I’m like, oh, come on. Brad (37m 2s): Yeah, you’re talking about Saladino because on his Instagram now he’s wearing these glasses and what was he talking about? I might get surgery laser…and I’m like The, the radical guy of the planet with his carnivore diet. But he’s, he’s, you know, he’s getting pushed into mainstream thinking when it comes to his eyesight. So hopefully it will have an impact on him. Jake (37m 22s): Yeah. But there was an awesome email. And then that was, I have that problem because a lot of my PR till I started doing this stuff, I made a bunch of money in the stock market. So I had the, I don’t care what anybody thinks, attitude that was incredibly liberating. And I enjoyed that so much because you don’t have to care. Right. I don’t have an employer. I don’t have anybody to answer to it. There’s, it doesn’t matter. And then this turned into a thing, this whole eyesight stuff, and now I’m checking myself a lot. And I don’t know, you know, that self identity thing where I’m like my actual self is not that palatable on a larger scale. And I don’t want to really subject people to having to make that choice. Jake (38m 2s): You want to improve your eyesight. You don’t necessarily want to deal with a guy who may be brash and outspoken and have curious opinions. You just want to fix your eyes. So I’ve tried to really put it into a space where I’m like anybody from any walk of life that is looking for those kinds of answers can find them without having to, to ask themselves, can I deal with this guy who’s whatever. Brad (38m 27s): Right. Well, I think your message, it goes hand in hand with, you know, an aggressive counter cultural stance. I think that’s an important part of it. So I, you know, I I’m that appeals even more to me that you’re standing up and have the courage to challenge what the, what the optometrist is saying, because we’re definitely deluded, especially in the medical system and, you know, going to the doctor and receiving dietary advice from a doctor, who’s for sure, never been trained in nutrition formally and may or may not know what the hell they’re talking about and is likely parroting the flawed and manipulated advice from federal government and, you know, the respected agencies that have been proven to be flat out wrong and also, you know, disingenuous. Brad (39m 10s): So I mean, people who stand up that is, you know, that that’s something that I respect a lot. And I was doing a show with Dave Rossi, where he was interviewing me and he was asking me like, you know, what am I still withholding from my audience? What they don’t really know about Brad Kearns. And I realized that he, he pinned me. I couldn’t give him a good answer. And then we talked about it some more. And I, I said, you know, I’m kind of a agreeable positive guy. I don’t like conflict in real life. And so I guess, you know, I’m trying to be myself on my podcasts and I don’t engage in conflict and spirited debate where I’m going to call out something that sounds like bullshit. I’m just going to let the guests do their thing and, you know, present their case and let the listener decide. Brad (39m 55s): And that’s possibly a weakness or a blind spot for me, where if I’m really going to be honest and authentic and, you know, straight forward, I might as well say what’s really on my mind rather than just saying, oh, tell me more about that interesting position when I really think it’s bullshit. And then you can do it in a polite way. It doesn’t have to be a snotty, you know, that we’re so used to now with these personalities that you know, are performing, but that got me thinking about just, you know, taking off more, more layers and barriers and just, you know, letting it flow. So I wonder, okay. Jake (40m 30s): Yeah. I wonder about that because especially okay. Different for you slightly, because as somebody talking to lots of people, having a PR, well, even, even for you, I guess it would be the same. Is it worth, is it worth the risk or is it selfish? I also wonder sometimes because I’ve got lots of opinions about lots of stuff that I shut my mouth about because it’s not, I always say it’s not relevant to the topic. Right. I want to help you with the glasses problem. I don’t want you to have to choose whether you can associate or, or have a message from a person like myself, right? Like who’s got all kinds of questionable ideas and opinions and attitudes, and I’m not very politically correct. Jake (41m 10s): And I think a lot of things that are going on are maybe questionable, but yeah. Then I’m like, will this personnel go screw that guy because I have opinions or ideas conflicting with your own. So am I removing the opportunity for you to have this experience with the eyes because I’m selfishly making you also be aware of my other, you know what I mean? But at the same time I got to complete that at the same time. I feel like I’m super bland in a lot of conversations because I try to be super neutral, right? Like here’s, what’s going on with your eyes, blah. End of story. We’ve got a big forum, we’ve got a big Facebook group and I’m just, if somebody were to ask me, what am I withholding, withholding everything. Jake (41m 55s): Right. Because I’m just trying to be helpful about this one topic that, yeah. Brad (42m 2s): Well, I think what comes to mind is, you know, sticking to your, your lane and your area of expertise is I think, okay. So when people listened to the B.rad Podcasts, they don’t want to hear me comment on Joe Biden or president Trump or the Supreme court or any of those things. If you want to come over for dinner and talk about whatever whatever’s on our minds, maybe I’ll have an interesting opinion, but I’m going to make a concerted effort to, you know, stick to the, the content that I describe in the show description and same with in myopia.org, you’re going to go there and you’re not going to get a propaganda about the pros and cons of the regime in Myanmar, because that’s not what I went to end myopia.org for. Brad (42m 52s): And so I think some people, you know, maybe air in that area, E R R in that A R E A and maybe to their detriment, or they’re going to turn people off. And I know, especially, you know, at the highest level of celebrity, boy, anything you say, you know, they’ll, they’ll bury you. And so know, I feel, I feel bad for people in that situation, but I mean, otherwise, gee, I mean, if, if we’re talking about health and fitness topics, we gotta, you know, we gotta unload whatever’s whatever’s on our minds and, you know, not have too much of a filter there. And that’s, what’s so great about, you know, modern communication and, you know, the podcast medium, where we can get to the bottom of things, rather than in the old days, when it came to, you know, some expert writing a new book about diet, they had 3.5 minutes on the today show and to give their, hit their talking points and then the show’s over and you have to go buy the book. Brad (43m 48s): Now we can listen for an hour to see whether this thing makes sense or not, and make more, hopefully more critical thinking and strategic reasoning than was possible when it was all in the, in the hype and the, you know, the narrow media opportunity. Jake (44m 2s): That must be really interesting. See, now I have to listen to that episode because now I’m thinking the guy who says, who writes The Art of Not Giving a Fuck, how does he speak, right? Like how much of that message, how does that translate to the guy that you’re talking to would be an interesting interview to have? Brad (44m 21s): Yeah. Yeah. I, I really am. I’m impressed with this guy. And I think he’s one of the great modern philosophers because the, the commentary is so deep. It’s a book that very few could even dream of writing, but just put so much thought into it and putting these pieces together for us that, you know, it’s difficult to do when we’re just hit with kind of a more bland or more superficial content. Yeah. Maintaining an identity. That’s defined by as little as possible. Now we’re coming just as I look at my alphabetical list here, trying to, trying to keep us on time, we may not finish. I may have to have part two, but we’re drifting into the, the more bread and butter here, the diet and healthy living experts. Brad (45m 6s): And the one that comes up for me, which was a real earth shattering insights came from this guy, Dr. Herman Pontzer and he’s a evolutionary anthropologist from Duke University. He just wrote a book called Burn. And his area of expertise, his life’s work is on caloric expenditure in primates, not just humans, but in all the primates. And he comes up with this insight, basically that we burn quote, we burn around the same number of calories every day, whether we exercise or not end quote. WTF, what the hell are you talking about? Jake (45m 44s): That is insane. Yeah. I want to know more about this one. Brad (45m 50s): Yeah. So basically that comment, which if you want to challenge it, he comes back very strongly and says, look, the data doesn’t lie. This is, you know, my life’s work. And there’s, you know, hundreds of studies around the world, we know how many calories humans burn. We know how many they burn in the Tour de France. We know how many they burn sitting at a desk. We know how many they burn with moderate activity or extreme activity. So we have all this data. And then we, he studied the Hadza hunter gatherers in Tanzania who have a vastly more active lifestyle than the modern human. They walk between 3.7 and nine miles a day. And that was the, the start of this awakening 10 years ago. Dr. Pontzer went there and discovered that these guys burn around the same number of calories as the office worker in New York City. Brad (46m 35s): And so then, you know, we, we proceed down this path and go, how could this possibly be? And it comes up with a, you could call it the constrained model of energy expenditure. And this contradicts the widely regarded notion of the additive model of energy expenditure. The additive model suggests that you can go on the internet and determine your basal metabolic rate by putting in your age, your height, your weight, and then you push the button and it says, you burn 2347 calories per day. And then if you go and do a spinning class, you burned 600 and you add 2347 plus 600 and you get this. And if you want to lose weight, all you do is eat a few hundred calories less than that. Brad (47m 20s): And magically like a machine it’s going to work. And we’ve known now, you know, with great certainty that this calories in calories out approach to weight loss is a dismal failure. One of the most dramatic examples of it is the women’s health initiative study. So for seven years, these females, 50,000 of them, I think adhered to a calorie restriction diet and exercised appropriately to the extent that they were predicted to lose. I believe it was 23 pounds a year. And at the end of seven years, they weighed about the same as the starting point. And so the whole thing was, you know, a big fat disaster. Brad (48m 0s): And I did two shows with this guy and then a wrap-up show where I kind of summarized his insights. But if you can kind of buy into this or just, you know, take a breath and ponder this concept for a moment, it really simplifies this frustrating challenge where we’re trying to, you know, burn calories like crazy so that we don’t gain weight or so that we can lose some body fat and wondering why it doesn’t work. And so now we’re kind of coming to this point where, you know, the secret to fat reduction is to Dr. Pontzer says, you know, find a diet that you enjoy and leaves you deeply satisfied, but it’s not too many calories. Brad (48m 42s): And that’s kind of exposing the big problem in modern life is that we over consume these hyper palatable foods that hijack the dopamine pathways in the brain and compel us to consume way more than we need, because we’re not burning a lot of energy. And our energy is constrained. Anyway. Even if we try to burn a lot of energy every single day, we’re going to find a sorted ways to compensate, for example, burning fewer calories at rest, because we did that crazy bad-ass workout at 6:00 AM in the gym. Interesting. Jake (49m 14s): That’s a weird one. Sees you are really getting me to listen to it. I’m going to have to listen to all these episodes because that is, I don’t, I don’t fully understand it. I want to say, like, I go kite surfing for two hours. Nobody can tell me that I didn’t burn a crap ton of calories. Brad (49m 31s): Just basically you burned. We know exactly what you burned. So let’s say you burned, you know, a thousand calories in that, in that kite surfing session. Now, if you divide that by 24 hours, you’re going to engage in all these compensations. It’s not that much, even a crazy bad-ass two hour session. And then let’s compare you to your neighbor who sat on the couch and watched movies all day. While you went kite surfing, you guys weigh the same. You have the same lean body mass, because of course we are calorie burning differs depending on how much lean body mass we have. So let’s say you guys are both these athletic specimen such as you are, and you have the same lean mass when he gets up and goes up a flight of stairs. Brad (50m 16s): He’s going to burn more calories than you because it’s a harder effort. And so even when he does minimal exercise, you’re going to start catching up to that thousand calories you burned because everything that he does cost more than you, because you’re fit person, you’re more efficient when you get up and go up a flight of stairs, which you might even not bother to do because you’re too tired and lazy because of your bad-ass kite surfing session in the morning. And so now the story is starting to make sense. And I I’m referencing back to when I was a triathlete. You know, I trained four or five or six or seven hours a day, but guess what I did the other 20 hours, let’s say I trained an average of four hours a day. The other 20 hours, I was sitting on my ass. Brad (50m 59s): I was getting in my car to get my mail every day, which was six tenths of a mile away from my house. And it was a joke because look, I never wanted to ride my bike there or let alone walk there. I couldn’t even imagine walking 1.2 miles to get the mail, you know, with a backpack on, because I’d already read, I’d already run 12 or ridden 84 miles. I certainly didn’t want to ride, you know, another 1.2. And so it was extremely lazy by design, of course, cause I’m trying to recover for the next days, you know, brutal session of calorie burning. Oh, and by the way, you’re thinking about these super fit people like the pro triathlete or the, the Tour de France racer someone who’s burning a ton of calories. Brad (51m 43s): Here’s a great quote from Pontzer. Might’ve been paraphrased by Chris Kelly. I forget who put this together, but repair, growth, reproduction and locomotion are a zero sum game. So if you borrow a lot from one of those, you’re going to compromise the others. So locomotion exercise, let’s say I’m training for hours and hours every day. My reproductive function is going to go away, right? Libido sexual function. The classic example is the female endurance athlete who experiences amenorrhea ,cessation of menstruation, when they get too lean and they train too hard. And then we have repair and growth. So you’re going to be kind of tired. Brad (52m 24s): You’re going to be getting sick a lot. Your immune function is suppressed because you’re training too hard. And that’s your body’s way to conserve energy because you’re asking it to burn so many calories from your, if your kite surfing every day for two to three hours. Jake (52m 38s): That’s crazy. Yeah. And I, it totally makes sense because I think about it and I come out of the water and find a hammock and you will find <inaudible> for the rest of the day, basically like it’s true. I could see that. I could, at least I could see that, that argument. Brad (52m 53s): Guess what else you’re gonna do is you’re gonna have a tendency to reach for a few extra bites of food here, there, and everywhere as a compensatory mechanism when you burn a lot of calories or as an exercise. And so it kind of, it kind of takes the pressure off for people to be obsessing on every little bite they’re putting in their mouth and all the calories that they’re burning. And instead, you know, look for a highly satisfying diet. That’s not loaded up with this nutrient deficient food. So a lot of the weight loss challenge comes with just making good food choices, where you feel full and satisfied. Cause you had a nice big steak and a big pile of broccoli or whatever you like, and you can walk away, not nibbling and going for the excess that happens when all also happens when you’re inactive. Brad (53m 41s): Right? So there’s all kinds of great reasons to exercise that we can’t, you know, negate, but we’re just focusing on the calorie burning itself. The science is that’s a real mind blower from Dr. Pontzer. Jake (53m 54s): And then the, that brings the, that gets us to the topic of food, right? Because that’s another big hole. And in our forum, there’s all these debates right now, carnivore or vegan or vegetarian, what is the right diet? And there’s this near religious perspectives on what is that right. Eating healthy. Brad (54m 14s): The next one I was going to mention was Dr. Paul Saladino, who’s one of the great leaders of the, our movement. So good timing there with that transition. And you know, I’ve been in this game so long, Jake, and it’s, it, it gets, you get into so much nuance to the point where even someone who’s deep into it, like myself can get kind of confused, frustrated, overwhelmed. And so I really liked to find common ground and spend simple insights, especially for the lay person who I actually interact with on a regular basis. Right. So when I go and meet up with my childhood friends, we have a group and we meet up every couple of months to have a nice evening of talking and catching up. Brad (54m 54s): And, you know, maybe the conversation will come over to me too a little bit and say, Hey, you’re working on a new book or what’s the deal? Hey, are these nachos healthy? Yes or no. And everybody wants quick answers. And then it’s off to discussing the next person’s Hawaiian vacation and they cut some great waves in the water. And so, you know, most people don’t have time to read research on pub med and extract the different insights and, you know, get a stack of books going. So really the big thing here is that we shouldn’t even converse about these dietary strategies and particularities, unless are we, we rid our diet of junk food. And most people are kind of stuck on that button where we’re still consuming a high level of refined carbohydrates, refined sugars, grains, and industrial seed oils. Brad (55m 45s): Most, most offensively, the seed oils, which are easy to remove because they don’t have any taste, but they’re highly destructive to the human body immediately upon ingestion. So once we start cleaning things up, then you can go looking for interesting ideas. And the carnivore idea is one of the, the most compelling to me that’s emerged recently. Keto has had a wonderful run and that has a lot of positive aspects, but it is kind of extreme and restrictive. So it should be seen as a tool or a strategy to achieve a certain goal, and then perhaps not necessary to sustain on a day to day basis for the rest of your life. Brad (56m 24s): But if you are doing any departure from the standard American diet, I guess we could call it the standard industrialized world diet for people who are across the world. Like you listening, you know, it’s any departure from that is going to be a big thumbs up and a big win. And I’m even going to include someone who decided to go plant-based and not eat any of that nasty meat or animal products that have fueled human evolution for two and a half million years. But they’re going in and taking a great interest in what they consume. And they’re going to eat a lot of fruits and vegetables and fresh foods. So they’re going to, you know, make progress from the, the fast food world. But beyond that, you know, you’re already so far ahead of the game. Brad (57m 5s): If you can just get rid of the, of the junk food that it’s, you know, it’s a great celebration, regardless of whether you’re, you know, into this particular restrictive pattern. Jake (57m 19s): Yeah. I had pizza last night, Brad (57m 22s): you know, I mean, if it’s, if it’s, if it’s stated like that, where you’re making a point of it, that it was a unique experience, then I think you’re, you’re doing okay because we’re allowed to celebrate and enjoying life. And I talk about the, the cheesecake I had on my birthday, which was several months ago. So that’s the last time anything like that was in my game and I was with my daughter and oh, okay, sure. I’ll try some. And they serve this thing and it was so delicious and I was so glad to eat it and be celebrating the great event with my daughter. And she smiled at me and I’m like, what? And she’s like, dad, you’re crushing that thing. I dropped the fork. And I realized that I was just inhaling this thing because it was such a foreign, you know, it was a foreign element to my diet. Brad (58m 6s): And it was so unbelievably good. And the flavor was so intense that I couldn’t stop myself. So I had to put the fork down, take a breath, maybe enjoy the celebration, stretch it out a little bit more, but you know, that’s absolutely fine. And I draw a clear distinction between you having a pizza last night versus going to the store and stocking up on frozen pizzas that you microwave as your go-to meal when you’re tired and burnt out. Jake (58m 31s): Yeah, no, this was gluten-free pizza. That was ridiculously expensive by a guy that makes everything from scratch. And I’m not eating today till tonight. And it’s going to be something very light, right? Brad (58m 43s): Right on. Yeah. Recalibrate is a great strategy. And you know, that, that’s what it’s all about is metabolic flexibility means you can handle a hit of some indulgent food. And that one I wouldn’t even call, you know, I wouldn’t even put that off the, off the, a game program because, you know, someone’s making a handmade product that’s fresh and it doesn’t have the offensive chemicals. And, you know, the things that we find in the mass produced pizzas and other foods in the same category, same with the homemade ice cream, someone wants to make homemade ice cream. I’m, I’m all over that. It’s delicious. You go to Seattle and they have these stores that, you know, are known for that. It’s kind of like the handmade ice cream capital of the world. And I’ll there every night because I visit Seattle every year to visit family. Brad (59m 27s): And you know, my, my, my stepdaughter and she’ll, she’ll show me around and I’ll hit that stuff hard. But then when I leave town, you know, I admit that I was going to order some online and then the shipping charges, cause they had to do it in dry ice. I’m like, forget it. I’m not paying 20 bucks for a pint of ice cream, but I was that tempted. And then I realized, look, that’s going to be me associating great times in Seattle with the ice cream. And I’m not taking that habit home with me and making it a normal thing. Otherwise that spoils a little bit of the, the celebration and the flavor intensity and all that. Jake (1h 0m 0s): Yeah. Yeah. You got to keep bad habits confined to something for sure. Brad (1h 0m 6s): Yeah. Yeah. That’s right. Jake (1h 0m 7s): Or not bad habits, but habits that need to be contained somehow. Brad (1h 0m 14s): Yeah. Celebratory behavior, which is, you know, unique, same with people like to drink as a common way to celebrate and you know, nothing wrong with that. My, my guy, Brian, the liver king Johnson at ancestral supplements has a page on his website where he gives you this protocol of 10 steps. If you want to go get drunk, here’s how you do it. You have to be fasted. And then you take, Everclear the most potent alcoholic drink. There is the highest performing thing and you squeeze some lemon in it and you take a bunch of liver capsules and you don’t eat any food with it and you’ll get an instant buzz and then guess what the buzz will wear off. And you’ll be fine. You’ll wake up the next morning, no hangover. And it’s hilarious. Cause most people, when they’re drinking, they’re not thinking of this, this health protocol to do it the right way. Brad (1h 0m 55s): But he makes a great point. Like, look, you want to go get buzzed. It’s not that big a deal. Your body can process the alcohol and get rid of it. But what usually happens is we’re eating crappy delivered Domino’s pizza and a bunch of sugar with our alcohol. We wake up the next morning feeling like crap, not just because of the alcohol, but all the things that went with it, staying up too late, whatever else was going on, you know, it’s Jake (1h 1m 18s): True. And I, I, in my past, in my ancient long time ago, past, because the business I was in there was a lot of people would do cocaine and interesting now kind of drug that you’re Brad (1h 1m 30s): just like movies, man, that the whole a Wall Street scene. Huh? Jake (1h 1m 33s): Did all of those things. But then also separately from that later on, ended up hanging out with, I’m going to call them hippies. I guess they would call themselves hippies who only would do psychedelics. And the Everclear example was it was that kind of experience. It was like very deliberate and planned and everybody would be having a bunch of vitamins and eating healthy and sleeping enough. And when they would go on an experience of altering their mind, you’ll be surrounded by positive intent. Right. And I’m like, this is, it’s the same in the flow of it. You’re in a similar space. Jake (1h 2m 13s): Like you’re doing something that’s probably not entirely healthy that you can’t do all the time. That’s super fun. But before and after you’re in a positive space, the other guys are just a mess. Brad (1h 2m 26s): Yeah. I’ve heard that if you don’t have a good guide and you’re not ready for the experience, you can really mess yourself up with those, those psychedelics. And on the contrary, if you’re, you know, coming from this position of love and gratitude and a good support group and, and a good leader, then everybody’s lauding the amazing benefits. And yeah, I’m, I’m not in that world. So I don’t really have an opinion on it, but it is a nice way to position it. And I think that’s a good analogy to the, the alcohol protocol and, you know, do, and, and, and even with, you know, an indulgence in the diet, that’s off your plan, you know, let’s make sure it’s a celebratory event. Brad (1h 3m 7s): I was enjoying the heck out of that, that evening and had no problem ordering the cheesecake. Cause I don’t want to be a rigid MOFO. That’s addicted to healthy eating such that I can’t unwind, but we have to kind of, you know, draw clear boundaries. Otherwise we’re going to, you know, kind of slippery slide down to the cultural, you know, traditions of, you know, just overeating and not paying attention to moderation or whatnot. Jake (1h 3m 33s): And it’s the same thing. It’s the same thing. The way I eat that pizza or the way you described eating the cheesecake that and cooking compared to drugs, you can compare it to anything. It’s the same thing where people who lose their or don’t have the correct perspective of this is a celebration. And this is, this is fine contained in this moment that cheesecake is fine. But if cheesecake is every day, then you’re having a problem. Right. And I think our brain works the same. Like my brain works the same. My brain does the same old pizza. I’d have pizza every night if I let myself. Right. But, but containing that to where it’s, it’s like a, it’s a fun experience versus you let your life fall into a hole. Brad (1h 4m 18s): Yeah. That’s a good point. We, to want to put in a little bit of restraint and, you know, boundaries, and I think a lot of times it’s good to kind of back into this by setting yourself up with all these other positive habits. So instead of like, I’m the guy who’s trying to have cheesecake every night. No, I’m the guy who makes these incredibly delicious meals tonight. We had a big serving a steak. I got a sweet potato cooking in the oven. You know, everything’s very well chosen this morning. I had a, a super-duper smoothie with six pastured egg yolks and frozen liver and protein powder and creatine and glutamine, you know? Yeah, yeah. Brad (1h 4m 58s): It’s, it’s actually, it tastes pretty good when other stuff goes in there. Yeah. I’m just trying to get my superfood game on and consume a lot of liver, which I don’t really enjoy cooking up and eating as a meal. So now I’m throwing it in the smoothie. It works great. But you know, it, it’s a very mindful approach to eating where even if I’m going to celebrate, I’m going to celebrate the heck out of it and enjoy it too, you know, to the fullest extent and then go on with my life without all this baggage that, you know, a lot of failed dieters acknowledged to have. It’s a huge problem. Jake (1h 5m 31s): Yeah, sure Brad (1h 5m 32s): Geez, man, we’re going to have to, we’re going to have to go to a part two because I got a whole nother packet of insights, but this was super fun and your, your contribution is awesome. You’re a natural I’m, I’m waiting for the Jake Steiner podcast because I think a really fun and interesting conversation. Jake (1h 5m 51s): No, I really appreciate it because this has been a real issue for me. Like I see 300 episodes and I don’t have time in the day, but I’m like, there is there’s, there’s, there’s 10 in there probably more that just would affect my life and would improve stuff. And I’d love to get to those. So I really appreciate the part, one of this. Brad (1h 6m 8s): Right on the highlights show. It’s going to be a tradition. Jake (1h 6m 13s): Good idea. Brad (1h 6m 14s): What’s up? What’s new with you that you haven’t shared and want to want to offer up within myopia.org or anything else? Jake (1h 6m 25s): The kite surfing skill level currently I’m just pending it. There’s nothing super exciting, but the COVID is around here still. And I’m just hiding in the city waiting for waiting for the kids. Hopefully Brad (1h 6m 37s): This is Bangkok. Jake (1h 6m 38s): Yeah. This has being called. Yeah. Brad (1h 6m 41s): And what got you over there from your, your extrication of deer career in America? Hanging out with the, the Wall Street homeys? Jake (1h 6m 48s): Oh, I, I made a bunch of money and then I just went traveling. I mean, this has been going on for 20 years now. Brad (1h 6m 56s): Oh, wow. Jake (1h 6m 57s): Yeah. Yeah. Brad (1h 6m 57s): So you were a young guy and you made a bunch of money as a trader, or how do you make a bunch of money as a young guy? Some curious, some other listeners are too Jake (1h 7m 8s): to not get myself in any trouble. No huge details, but yeah, in a short amount of time, it was just good timing and good luck basically. And I’m not, I’m not greedy. I don’t have this wiring in me to have a hundred million. You know what I mean? I have friends that stayed in that, in that game that are still in the game, but I looked at it and I’m like, I’m never going to spend this. And I don’t have, I don’t care about Ferrari’s. I don’t care about big houses. My, my dream has always just been backpack, freedom. I can eat in any restaurant I want, I can go where I want. That’s what I started doing. And now it changed because six years ago, somebody got pregnant by accident. Jake (1h 7m 49s): And that, that slowed things down a little bit, but I’m just like, it’s like a weird thing because I’m not a money motivated person. I just got lucky that I just went. We’re just going to enjoy life as much as possible. Right. Brad (1h 8m 5s): I wonder if you know, you’re, you’re in this money game, that’s very intense and competitive, but your mindset maybe was a, a success factor, you know, kind of an X factor for one, it allowed you to, you know, escape, which a lot of people can’t do. And maybe some of those people, you know, don’t fare so well. If they keep, you know, forging forward aggressively, maybe they get overextended and we have all those kinds of stories too. But this is kind of like a perfect dream where, you know, you have that freedom of time and what you want to choose to do with your life, which is I believe the ultimate value of money, not the, you know, the possessions that you can’t possibly use, you know? Jake (1h 8m 48s): No, you can’t. And I’ve, I’ve tried that and it didn’t work for me. And I was the only one who left actually it’s curiously enough. Right. And I watched, I like friends, you know, like drive Ferrari’s around and I’m like, let’s go meet for dinner. And then as I go, I gotta go home change cars because cobblestone roads, it’s not going to fit there. And it’s just like all the little things where my car, that’s why I have a cheap car, I guess. Right. And yeah, just the idea that you can go to the airport anytime or learn a new sport or not, I’d hang out at these little ultra light airports on the weekends, working on my eyesight, just trying to find things to do that are outside. And then you meet all these random dudes that build homemade aircraft and fly them around. Jake (1h 9m 30s): Like, to me, that’s life like discovering the, you know, the, the juice, like the thing, passion that somebody has for something that’s beyond, you know, the nine to five job or money or whatever. Brad (1h 9m 43s): Yeah. So this is 20 years ago. That’s a long time. Do you still have an obligation or a desire to, you know, do you keep your, your, your toes in it a little bit to mind your, your, your, your principal or whatever they call it. Like, do you have to spend the first 30 minutes of the day busting around and then go on with your kite surfing? Jake (1h 10m 5s): The problem is it’s super addictive. So you kind of have to stay away from it because it becomes you watch. Like if you know, and you watch markets and trends and you see something and you’re like, Ooh, that’s money, that’s money. And, but then you get sucked into, it happens to me every once in a blue moon. And then you spend the next two weeks glued to screens and it becomes addictive behavior of just, yeah, you don’t wanna miss it. And you see an opportunity, but you don’t. Right. Like there’s a point, I think there’s genuinely a point where it doesn’t make a difference. And I think the point is not as high as most people think, right. Because everybody thinks you need a Ferrari. Everybody thinks you need a big house, but you’re not going to be happier. Jake (1h 10m 49s): So for me, it’s Toyota and roof is my lab. You know what I mean? So I don’t have. Brad (1h 10m 57s): Right. Right. And, you know, I think that it’s, it’s difficult to even, you know, think in those terms when you’re struggling to make ends meet. And for most of my adult life, as an athlete, and then trying to raise a family, you know, I didn’t have any expanded perspective of, you know, minimalism a desire or how I could, you know, it, it was just, I was just trying to breathe and stay above water. And I think that’s the part where, you know, the true value of having some free, some financial freedom is you get to sit back and say, what’s important to me rather than I think we have the ability to get sucked into consumerism mindset. Brad (1h 11m 37s): If we’re not careful because the messages are so powerful and I probably have purchased more than I need to date in my lifetime and, and wasted money, or maybe showed symptoms like greed, where, you know, I, I made an investment that was ill-advised and, and, and lost out are examples like that that were poorly motivated, you know? Jake (1h 12m 1s): Yeah. We’re talking about happiness with my girlfriend recently and it reminded me, like I lived in Nepal for a little while, six months, five months, six months paragliding, just big lake. And you can see the Himalayas in the background and there’s all these, you know, hash smoking hippies from all over the world that lived there that have amazing stories and insights and random people come and go. Brad (1h 12m 24s): And I had a backpack and I lived in a room that costs $6 a night overlooking the lake. And now I’m comparing. But because literally right now, I I’ve been saying to my girlfriend, like, I’ve been living here and because I’m stuck here, I’m buying stuff. I spent thousands of dollars on some stereo equipment. I’m like, yeah, it doesn’t make me any happier. Right. Like happiness is really like the, a little bit of adventure and a little bit of the unknown. Like you wake up in the morning and you do something that is different from every other day, you’re talking to people of different ideas and you have. Your, your heart races because you’ve done something that was exhilarating. Right. And we’d replace that with consumer’s stuff a lot that doesn’t have the same effect. Brad (1h 13m 9s): Yeah. Yeah. Well said, I, I feel like I might be getting better about this as I get older. So it’s like one of the positive aspects of getting older is just being a little more mature about those things and, you know, really being good about choosing out of that consumerism mentality, which can easily trip you up. As soon as you hear about your, your, your, your peer has, you know, made it big. And, and his company went public and now he’s a million zillionaire and you’re not, and you can easily get, you know, sent right into the FOMO mindset, which is such a disaster. It’s a, it’s an actual disease state is one of my podcast guests, Dr. Ron Sinha explained. Brad (1h 13m 49s): And he actually works in Silicon valley, which is arguably the highest paid workforce in the world. They make two and a half times the U S average, which is the richest country. And he says the, the, the level of FOMO among these very affluent workers is stunning. And the reason is that he believes is that even though they’re extremely well compensated by any comparison, their next door neighbor might have 10 X or a hundred X they have because of there’s so much wealth in the Silicon valley. And boy, that was a real disturbing insight that, you know, someone who w what anyone would think is doing extremely well, still feels, you know, like they’re, they’re, they have the old Tesla instead of the new one with the Batman doors. Brad (1h 14m 32s): And so all of a sudden, they’re, they’re not happy with, you know, their possessions or what have you, Jake (1h 14m 38s): Which is also why I love living in Asia. And because there isn’t that incentive, nobody around me has a Ferrari. I don’t think about it. Right. Yeah. So helpful. So helpful. Like, I lived in Vietnam for a while, where 125 CC motorbike. If you have a Vesper instead of a Honda, that’s a big deal. And it’s so calming to not have the option to go shopping. And nobody’s having stuff that your brain is just going to be like, like watching somebody eat cheesecake, you know what I mean? You don’t want that being removed or super helpful. Yeah. Just being around that. Brad (1h 15m 17s): Love it. Yeah. You’re setting yourself up for success. Just like having your kettlebell out in plain view to encourage you to exercise more during the day and take breaks. I love it. We got a little, we got a little Jake Steiner at the end, man. I love that. Oh, no. You know, just way to, way to wrap up the show. I’m sure everyone will be clamoring for part two after getting to know you. So I appreciate your sharing and we’ll pick up where we left off. Thanks for the inspiration to talk about some memorable show insights and, and everything else that came up. Jake (1h 15m 51s): Awesome. Brad, I appreciate it. Now I’ve got episodes to listen to Brad (1h 15m 57s): Jake Steiner, everybody and myopia.org is where we’re going to go learn more, right? Yes. Okay. Go to it. People. Thank you for listening to the show. I love sharing the experience with you and greatly appreciate your support please. Email firstname.lastname@example.org with feedback, suggestions, and questions for the Q and A shows, subscribe to our email list of Brad kearns.com for a weekly blast about the published episodes and a wonderful bimonthly newsletter edition with informative articles and practical tips for all aspects of healthy living. You can also download several awesome free eBooks when you subscribe to the email list. Brad (1h 16m 41s): And if you could go to the trouble to leave a five or five star review with apple podcasts or wherever else, you listen to the shows that would be super, incredibly awesome. It helps raise the profile of the be read podcast and attract new listeners. 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