Get ready for a powerhouse show with New York Times bestselling author and renowned behavioral and mindset expert John Assaraf! This guy brings his A-game for an hour of power that has the potential to change your life–if you are ready to receive the message that is. “I’m not in the convincing game,” John explains, but he is an internationally recognized brain expert, educator, and 1-on-1 peak performance coach.
In this highly energized and motivating show, John covers the content of his new book Innercise: The New Science to Unlock Your Brain’s Hidden Power. You may have seen John on other big time shows like Larry King Live, The Ellen DeGeneres Show, Tim Bilyeu, and Anderson Cooper 360, and you are in for a real treat with this episode.
John discusses all aspects of performing at your peak in all areas of life (not just narrow objectives like making money), and how to discard bad habits quickly with “tiny actions” that are not intimidating. This way, you can always, “Do a little anyway, even if you don’t feel like it,” according to John. By doing so, you actually rewire your neural circuits so that your desired behaviors become easy, breezy habits. You become not just a person who is good at setting goals (ahem, raise your hand if you’re in that group) but someone who is good at taking focused action over and over in pursuit of those goals.
John comes to you with authenticity and experience, for he has experienced numerous “failures” in life – divorce, poor health habits, and losing and gaining fortunes in business. You will learn about your “Frankenstein brain” and your “Einstein brain” and how to harmoniously integrate the two. John offers some memorable parenting insights about leading by example but not meddling or trying to orchestrate your kid’s path. You’ll learn just a couple “Innercise Habits” provided in the book that can change your life: taking six deep breaths to “calm the circuits.” When you are in a relaxed, wise-minded state, you can then engage “AIA”: Awareness, Intention and Action. If you saw the blockbuster movie, The Secret, you’ll recall John’s astonishing real life vision board story that made it all the way to the big screen. Listen to the end of the show and John will recount the most unlikely story of manifestation come to life that you will ever hear.
Enjoy this special conversation with John, and be sure to check out his website and his book, Innercise.
TIMESTAMPS:
Brad gives a tip right off from his guest: When you are under stress and having a difficult time, take six slow deep diaphragmatic breaths. [03:43]
It might be better to broaden your fitness ambitions rather than focus on one thing. [06:39]
John talks about how he studies himself around fears, self-image, limiting beliefs, and behavior. [08:16]
To have the chance of becoming wealthy, you have to take risks. [10:33]
When trying to make changes in our life and don’t like the result, look to see what caused that result. Don’t see it as a failure. [15:40]
John separates the two parts of the brain into the Frankenstein brain and the Einstein brain. [16:53]
In the book, Innercise, John gives you the actual mental and emotional techniques to integrate those parts of your brain. Here he gives an example how. [20:21]
By doing the suggested breathing “Innercise,” you can literally change the cellular makeup in your body. [24:29]
In order to program the neural pattern in our brain, it will take from 100 to 365 days for it to become default mode. You teach yourself to override your natural propensity to want to stay in your comfort zone. [26:35]
We were taught the process to set goals but we weren’t taught a process to actually make those goals achievable for us. [29:58]
There is much distractibility in our environment so we need to deliberately and consciously evolve ourselves so that these distractions don’t control us. [30:60]
John used to be 234 pounds and 33% body fat. How did he evolve his way to better fitness? [34:53]
If you can’t afford a personal trainer, there are many ways to set up accountability. [41:53]
Do we have to have a dire warning from a doctor before we turn things around? [43:55]
How does a person leverage all the aspects they want to achieve? [47:47]
The problem is making the commitment to the outcome you want. How can you get out the message? [51:09]
How does John work with clients? [57:57]
Do Visions Boards play an important role in goal setting? [01:00:03]
LINKS:
QUOTES:
- “Nothing will change until you change.”
- “Make a commitment to the outcome you want, then follow the ‘how’ that already exists.”
- “You have to ask yourself: where am I heading, how fast am I going there, and is the destination acceptable to me? If the answer is yes, good – pick up speed, and go faster. But if the answer is no way!, stop. And ask yourself: what has to happen, in order for me to turn around, get on a different train, and go in a different direction? What has to happen in my mindset, emotional management, and skill set?”
- “I like to observe people who have achieved what I want to achieve, and then I ask: how did they do that? What did they think, what did they read, how did they manage their emotions, what did they do, how did they plan and strategize? so I can mimic and mirror their results.”
LISTEN:
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Get Over Yourself Podcast
Brad (2m 2s): Hey listeners, get ready for a power house show from John Assaraf. This show has the potential to change your life. I like people with their, a game on fire and this guy brought it for an hour of power. Absolutely fantastic peak performance, motivation brain training. He is a two time New York times bestselling author and his new book is called Innercise, the new science to unlock your brain’s hidden power already hit number one on Amazon. Brad (2m 38s): This guy is a leader in the business world and in the peak performance scene, he’s been on Larry King, Ellen Degeneres, Anderson Cooper, all kinds of stuff. And what a pleasure to welcome him to the Get Over Yourself podcast. I got to say he was actually kind of a cold pitch. His PR firms said, Hey, do you want to interview this guy? And I’m like, sure. Why not? Okay. And, Oh my goodness. My hand was writing furiously. My head was nodding and you are going to get some wonderful insights centered upon the content of his book, but it’s a great story. Brad (3m 11s): John has been through an assortment of successes and failures. He’s had great business success and wealth, and then he’s lost all that wealth and gained it back. And now he’s really focusing on the coaching aspect and helping other people. So you can go visit his website and get involved. Get the book. I think this show set the record for the most notes ever taken. I called him Tony Robbins without the hype and the excess cause it was highly motivating and illuminating things about how we build good habits and how we get stuck in bad habits. Brad (3m 43s): John will tell you about the Frankenstein brain and the Einstein brain and how to smoothly integrate those, to get some emotional control and some good rational thinking and skills implemented. I’m going to give you just a little teaser and then he’s going to take it away. But he has these things in the book called Innercise habits. He said he has about 20 of them. And just a couple here that he talked about. The first one was when you’re under stress or you’re facing difficult times, take six and calm the circuitry. Brad (4m 13s): So if you take six, slow, deep diaphragmatic breaths, you will instantly change your brain chemistry and your body chemistry to deactivate the sympathetic nervous system, which is when you get frazzled and can’t make good decisions and can’t stick to your goals and plans and instead get distracted and pulled away. And then the second of the habits is to engage. Now that you’ve taken your six calm breaths, right? A I A: awareness, intention, and taking action. Brad (4m 44s): And this guy is big on taking action. He tells you an amazing story to end the show. So you gotta listen to the end, talking about his appearance on the movie, The Secret and his experience with the famous law of attraction. You know, when you cut out a fancy car or a beautiful home from the magazine and paste it on your vision board and then manifest those things and, Oh boy, this story will top any that you’ve heard along these lines. So please enjoy this wonderful, inspiring, motivating conversation from John Assaraf author of Innercise. Brad (5m 23s): Hey John, John (5m 24s): Give me just one second. Brad (5m 29s): Great. I’m sorry. I’m late. I, I was like stepping outside and there shows up my neighbor who was gone for three months. So I, I, I had to chat a little bit and I said, I gotta go do a podcast. She said, what’s a podcast. So, you know, it’s pretty big time, but not, not as, not as big as we might think, right? If no one doesn’t even know what it is, listen to it. John (5m 51s): There’s so many, this do know what it is. Brad (5m 53s): It’s not a big deal. Yeah, it’s cool. Hey, nice, nice choice of clothes today, John (5m 58s): There were matching very sharp and I just finished a one week vegan keto diet. Brad (6m 4s): So one week, wow. What was that all about? John (6m 9s): Every quarter. I do a little intermittent fasting and little keto action, so, Brad (6m 16s): Oh, just every quarter. And then you go back to sort of a baseline John (6m 21s): Just baselines. I, you know, my complex carbs and I’ve been vegan for about eight years. So eat pretty clean to begin with. So not a lot of simple sugars anyway. So complex carbs, good fats for my muscle building and workouts. Brad (6m 39s): Yeah. You’re working out hard, huh? John (6m 42s): Well, I don’t know about hard, but I work out consistently. Brad (6m 45s): Yeah. What kind of stuff? John (6m 49s): Biking. A little running, hiking, StairMaster, strength, training, you know, weights, TRX a little bit of everything. Brad (7m 0s): Yeah. I like that. Yeah. Instead of I’m writing an article right now about how it might be better to, you know, broaden your, your fitness ambitions rather than focus on one thing like the endurance scene or even the, You know, people that are huge on Spinning or CrossFit. It’s so easy to get tired and burnt out because you’re trying to get really super good at something and push the edge, you know? Yeah. John (7m 25s): Do you know what, I don’t know how old you are, Brad (7m 27s): 56 man John (7m 27s): but I am in the same zone. I’ll be 69 in a couple months for me. It’s how do I, how do I keep everything working optimally, you know, so that I can scan my seventies and eighties and nineties. So that’s my focus for now, but also I do, I make sure that I don’t have so much wear and tear that I’m injuring. I’ve had enough injuries. I’m sure you have as well. John (7m 58s): So now it’s a more of sustained sustenance, right? Brad (7m 58s): Yeah. I mean, there’s no bigger incentive to do the little drills and the annoying little mini band things. Then I know this is preventing injuries. So I will hit those things hard until I’m screaming in pain. Cause if I can get my glutes goin’ .You know, I’m looking good. I feel like we’re in a good groove going here. I should have recorded all that. But I’ll ask you about your fitness thing again. So I say Assaraf, John SRF, we are on it, man. And we’re already on fire. Brad (8m 29s): So I had to push record cause we’ve been talking about your interesting fitness regimen, but we’re here to get into the power of the brain and Innercise so why don’t you introduce yourself and tell us what you’ve been up to and about this wonderful new book. John (8m 48s): Sure. You know, what I’ve been up to is just trying to understand more about our miraculous trillion dollar brain as I like to think of it and just what we’re learning, discovering about the brain around fears and self image and limiting beliefs and behavior. And you know why we do the things we do? Why is it so hard to change? Why don’t we do the things we know we should do and want to do? So I’m just fascinated with understanding myself better, of course, first, and then now, whatever it is I discover, you know, and apply. John (9m 24s): Then I want to teach it to be able to follow my work and my audience and my sons and my wife and my family all in, in pursuit of just, you know, being happy and healthy in every area of life. So not just, you know, financially, which is what a lot of people focused on. I place a lot of value on my spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical health and wellbeing above all else. And so how do I do more of that so that I can enjoy this journey called life even more? Brad (9m 57s): Well, I like how you referenced that you tested out on yourself or you try to go for self improvement and then share the message. Cause there is some fallout, I think from the age of social media and the gurus and the people presenting this manufactured lifestyle up there look no further than celebrities who it seems like they have it all and they’re flying around on their private jets. And then, you know, they, they crashed their car into the telephone pole. They can’t even get straight with, you know, normal everyday life. So that’s probably a good entry point to share a message with other people’s what’s worked for you. John (10m 33s): Yeah. And you know, it’s interesting, as you know, as you say that I’m fascinated with why does that happen? Right? And so for example, you know, I’ve, I’ve been divorced twice and then now happily married with my wife for 21 years. I have made a lot of money, enough lost a lot of, I have been 238 pounds and I’m a borderline diabetic, borderline hypertensive. And you know, I had 33% body fat and now I’m at 197 pounds for the last 11 years and 14% body fat and healthy. John (11m 12s): So the reason I shared this with you is I’m no different than anybody else. My, the difference for me is like, wow, you know, did I love myself? Let’s say, get out of shape. When I know that it’s healthy. Why did I lose millions of dollars? You know, when I knew, you know, management skills for money and protecting skills, you know? So I’ve been fascinated with the game of life and, and learning and growing and adapting and becoming more so that I could have more, be more, do more, give more, et cetera. John (11m 47s): So the Guinea pig art is I’m curious in understanding me better. And it consistently comes back to what’s happening between my two ears. It gives just like comes back to me. So as much as I can say, it’s him, it’s her, it’s this it’s that? No, it’s me. Brad (12m 8s): Yeah. I was talking to a dating expert and he was mentioning how, you know, the last 38 dates, nothing really happened. They didn’t go anywhere. And what was the common denominator that all those women had is that they dated the same guy you in the mirror? Pretty funny. Yeah. John (12m 25s): He was at the scene of all the crimes. Brad (12m 25s): Oh mercy. Just on that money question, I’m wondering, because you’ve heard this so many times, you know, gain and lost a fortune. Is that possibly a part of the picture where you have to be willing to take these risks and lose your shirt so that you can get a nicer shirts? John (12m 48s): Well, I think you have to be willing for that to happen in order for you to, you know, to have the chance at becoming wealthy. Sometimes you have to risk stuff. Now what we don’t learn, or maybe let me rephrase. What I didn’t learn is a lot of what I teach now in, in the arena of money to all my students is there’s a skill set for earning. There’s a skill set for managing there’s a skillset for investing. John (13m 21s): There’s a skillset for protecting, and there’s a skillset for using debt as leverage or getting out of debt faster. Now, I always had a really great skillset for earning, but I didn’t learn some of the management investing in protecting skills until I did. And the reason I did is because I made a lot of money at a very, very young age, lost a lot of money at a very, very young age. John (13m 51s): And then my coaches, mentors and teachers said, okay, here were some of the errors in your thinking and your behaviors adjust those and everything will be fine. And then I made all the money back and I’ve been able to maintain it. And so it was a function of me leveling up my awareness and my skills. There was nothing in the marketplace that caused me to do this right. And so I just didn’t have the awareness of the knowledge. So first and foremost, I took responsibility, which means I changed my ability to respond to differently. John (14m 28s): And, and then, you know, I got really good at the five different pillars of financial success instead of one. Brad (14m 38s): So you mentioned the coaches, mentors.Wow. How actively did you go out and seek guidance outside of yourself? John (14m 46s): Very, I haven’t invested over a million dollars in my own coaching and consulting that I have paid others over the last 25 years. Brad (14m 56s): Wow! It’s like LeBron James man. He, he supposedly spends a million dollars on his body care and all that every year. John (15m 4s): Yeah, and that’s really what got me into the, you know, the neuroscience and neuropsychology field and really understanding what is actually happening in my brain or as a result of what’s happening in my brain. And that’s why, you know, when I wrote my newest book, Innercise how to unlock your brains in power. We already have all the tools, right? We have that trillion dollar brain, but we weren’t given the user’s manual for it. And so I just started to discover certain obstacles that hold people back, certain behaviors that hold people back and, and why that happens. John (15m 40s): And so that really became my fascination. I’ve been very, very curious my whole life. And so I’ve been curious with not just focusing on results, but results are effects, all results that we experience our effects. And so I’ve been wondering what are the causes of the effects? So if we have a result that we love, it would be great to know, well, what caused, you know, the behavior or the not taking action that yielded the result. John (16m 12s): And if we also by default have a result that we don’t like or want, well, something caused that. Well, why not dive a little bit deeper, right? To understand what may be happening within me so that I can adjust. Brad (16m 30s): Well, I guess if we’re blaming things outside of ourselves, for all our misfortunes and shortcomings, that could be a starting point. For example, that is the cause right there that you’re going around blaming instead of taking responsibility, did you make that up, John, that respond what was responsibility? Again, John (16m 53s): Bond my ability to respond instead of react, what I left talking about. And I started to, to create this visual for people in my book. Innercise, and that is, there’s a part of our brain. That’s that Frankenstein part of the brain that I call. And there’s another part of the brain. That’s the Einstein part of the brain and our Frankenstein brain reacts. Our Frankenstein brain operates out of a state of fear, uncertainty, doubts, stress, anxiety. John (17m 24s): Our Frankenstein brain is focused on, you know, what if, what if I fail? You know, what if I disappointed myself, what if I’m embarrassed, ashamed, ridiculed, or judged, and Frankenstein basically puts the brakes on our behavior. Whereas Einstein, which is part of our, what I call is the left prefrontal cortex that CEO, the executive director of our brain, you know, Einstein says, well, what can I do about this? What did do, right? What did I do? Right? What knowledge, what skills, what tool, what resource can I use to solve this? John (17m 56s): You know, what did I learn? What did I discover? How do I behave differently? How do I elicit, you know, the motivation that I need to achieve, the goal that I want. So while Einstein’s focusing on solutions and how I can and why I will. Frankenstein’s focusing on blame, shame, guilt, justification, and stress and anxiety. And the truth is we have both of those capabilities within us and the razor’s edge. The difference that makes the difference between those who succeed and those who don’t succeed as much is mindset. John (18m 34s): Mindset is what separates the best from the rest. So the more I can master my own mindset and my emotional resiliency, the more I can overcome the things that are in my way. And the more that I can actually be inspired into action to achieve my goals and dreams. And, and that’s really how you win the game. Brad (18m 59s): So the Frankenstein sounds like the emotional reactivity and the lack of emotional control. And I’m thinking of some insights that I got from Mark Manson, who the bestselling offer of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck and his new book, Everything is Fucked: The book About Hope. And he was saying that you need to get buy in from your emotional brain as you’re pondering your courses of action with your rational brain. And it was an interesting take on that. I wonder how you feel about that because we are going to have those emotions and those insecurities, we want a bigger boat than our neighbor, but maybe we shouldn’t be spending it right now. Brad (19m 38s): We should be paying off our credit cards. So these things are still going to be swirling around our brain, regardless of how much work we do ourselves. Right? And so you’re going to have to make friends. It seems like Frankenstein and Einstein are gonna have to make friends at some level. John (19m 50s): You got it. You can use Frankenstein as fuel for your success. Now, what mark is discussing is the battle between the limbic part of the brain and the prefrontal cortex of the brain and the emotional response center of our brain. That’s part of our, our second to develop part of our brain. So we had no that reptilian part, the instinctual part of our brain, that’s there for survival safety, avoidance of pain, avoidance of discomfort, you know, the emotional, the middle part of our brain, that limbic and emotional system that is triggered automatically based on the subconscious patterns and associations that we have at the subconscious level. John (20m 30s): And then there’s this, you know, Einstein, executive functioning part when I says, yeah, but you can achieve this and you want this and you want that. And there is this constant battle. And the reason I actually created, as I mentioned, Innercise is to give you the actual mental and emotional techniques to integrate all those parts of your brain. So when that Frankenstein brain is active and that sympathetic nervous system, you know, is it is causing you to react at the highest level of your training for that particular thing. John (21m 5s): How do you de activate the reactive part of your brain and how do you engage the part of your brain that can respond in a much better fashion and a much better, more empowered way? And you know, Innercise number one is called take six, calm the circuits. So the first thing you’ve got to do is take six deep breaths in, through your nose, as slowly as you can, and then breathe out through your mouth six times, like you’re breathing out through a straw and those six breaths, if there takes you six, seven, eight seconds just to breathe in gently, slowly, slowly, slowly, and then as you exhale, even slower, focusing on a straw in your mouth, you’re breathing out that air flow that deactivates the sympathetic nervous system. John (21m 58s): Now in this deactivated, calm state, where you can respond, you can do what I call Innercise number two. Innercise number two is called AIA, A I A. What is AIA? stands for awareness, intention, action. So awareness awareness of what, in a calm, relaxed state, I can become aware of my thoughts, emotions, feelings, sensations, and let’s just say the behaviors that I’ve taken or not taken for the last hour. John (22m 30s): In an aware state, without judging myself, blaming shaming, feeling guilty or justifying the behavior or the thoughts or the emotions. Now I can ask myself, I can use my higher cortical function, my Einstein brain. I could say what’s my intention for the next hour. My intentions to be focused, happy, aware in action towards my goals and dreams. And once I have that intention, now I can say, what’s one small, tiny little action I can take towards that? John (23m 9s): So I could smile. I could get myself into a state of empowerment. I could focus on that goal that I want to achieve. I want to get in shape, do one. If I want to go and say, you know, just lift your knees up five times to your elbows, do something small that empowers you and moves you towards that goal, vision or dream that you have. Now, what I’m doing is now I’m being deliberate. Now I’m training my brain to be calm so I can respond. John (23m 39s): And now I can prime all of the motivational circuits and behavioral circuits in my brain to move me in the direction of where I want to be. Instead of moving away from what I want. Now, those two simple Innercises are one of about 20 that I, that I have as my core ones. But when I’m in control and I’m being deliberate, when I’m reinforcing constructive positive patterns, then by default, I am actually rewiring and restrengthening key neurocircuits in my brain that helps me develop the habits that become part of my automatic self or default mode network. John (24m 21s): And the more I can create construct of positive, empowering habits, those habits then create me, Brad (24m 29s): Oh, mercy people. Did you listen to that? Are you going to rewind the tape a little bit? I mean, if you just give to an end, the show, we are rocking and rolling, but 20 I’m going to, you know, Oh my gosh. I mean, and I think we need to emphasize just how powerful that, that breathing exercise you give. I mean, you are literally changing the cellular makeup in your body with breathing. You’re, you’re deactivating the sympathetic state with a few deep breaths. And I think we pay lip service to it too much. Brad (25m 0s): Now breathing’s getting popular. Wim. Hof is out there doing his amazing feats of endurance and teaching other people to do so. So I love that starting point of just take those deep breaths and then transfer over to number two, AIA that’s big man. And I was, I was wondering, John, why not a big gigantic action, cause you said a small, tiny action.? John (25m 20s): So whenever we’re looking at creating a new habit, I like to teach all of my students and clients to reduce it to the ridiculously small. So all of the neuroscience and neuro psychology research shows that when you start off with a very small, simple step, and you release that dopamine in your brain for taking action, your brain says, Oh, you did something in the direction of your goals and dreams that affects your self esteem positively. John (26m 3s): It affects your confidence positively. It builds a neural pattern of you being an action taker and a goal achieving person for some goal setting person. So when we take small little action steps, we’re actually firing the neurons in our brain that start to get wired around that behavior. And when we focus on the habits first, instead of the intensity or duration, we can always add an intensity of duration next. John (26m 35s): So what’s more important the habit or the intensity or duration. So I prefer my clients to take one little action, step a day for 100 days, then 60 minutes once a week. Why? Because if I can get you to do something a little bit every day for 100 days, we know that it takes between 66 days and 365 days to create a neural pattern that our brain, that becomes part of the default mode network or the automatic self. So if I can get you to do something for a hundred days, I can then increase intensity and duration and all that other stuff afterwards. John (27m 13s): Now, a lot of times the bigger the action is the more resistance we feel. Why? Our brains third greatest hierarchy of how it operates is conservation of energy, not expenditure of energy. It’s conservation of energy. So if our brain says, Oh my God, that’s going to take a lot of energy. You’re going to meet resistance. And we don’t like change. The only human that likes change is a wet baby. And so why not reduce the resistance to the ridiculous, the small. John (27m 43s): So you have a win. And once you have a, when you want another one, and once you have another one, you have another one. And so I tell all of my clients, whenever you hear that voice in your head, I’m tired. I don’t feel like it. I want you to override that. So it’s not, I know you don’t feel like it, but just do a little bit anymore. I know you don’t want to, but do a little bit anyway. I know, you know, it’s not the right time, but I’ll just do something instead of nothing. So you start to teach yourself to override your natural propensity to want to stay in your comfort zone. John (28m 16s): And when you teach yourself to override your natural entity to overcome your comfort zone, then you actually develop a habit of overcoming your comfort zones, right? So Brad (28m 26s): What happens to your comfort zone now? It gets bigger and bigger. Yeah, John (28m 29s): You got it. And so when we talk about, you know, our comfort zones, expanding, you know, whenever we’re, whenever that Einstein brain gets kicked into gear, I’m sorry, the Frankenstein brain gets kicked into gear. Usually that’s a state of stress that it puts us in. And the definition of stress is when demand exceeds capacity, when demand exceeds capacity, my Frankenstein brain gets activated. So why not expand my mental capacity, emotional capacity, physical capacity, spiritual capacity, financial capacity by taking small little action steps that expand my capacity and my abilities. John (29m 7s): So instead of saying, I’m gonna exercise, you know, everyday for an hour. Exercise every day for three minutes, for five minutes, for seven minutes, whatever, whatever it is that you can not say no to. Brad (29m 20s): Wow. And it seems to be such a common pattern for people to put these big ambitions up there and then fail, and then tell a story or blame. I wonder if the setting of an outsized goal is a self-defeating prophecy or something. John (29m 35s): Well, there’s a part of our brain, the Einstein brain that actually sets the goal, but that is not the part of the brain that is responsible for the behaviors to fulfill that goal. Brad (29m 48s): Oh, mercy, that sounds like a crappy company where the managers telling people how to run the assembly line, but they don’t even visit it. John (29m 58s): That’s right. So there isn’t any problem with setting goals and everybody has goals and visions and a dream, but your habits that are part of the striatum part of the brain, that’s responsible for the habitual way of thinking, feeling and behaving. If you don’t integrate those two pieces, then you’re going to have a brain in chaos. What you have to create is coherence and harmony instead of chaos. A brain and chaos is a brain in stress, right? And stress deactivates the motivational centers and the behavioral centers of the brain. John (30m 30s): And so of course it doesn’t work. We were not taught the proper process in order to achieve goals. We were taught the process to set goals and to use imagination, but we weren’t taught a process to actually make those goals achievable for us. And that’s all based in neuroscience. And again, that’s the passion and the fun that I have is understanding why do so few people actually achieve their goals? And we know the answers to that. Brad (30m 60s): Now I’m also looking at our environment and the, you know, influx of hyper-connectivity in our lifetimes, John, we can reference half our life where there was absolutely nothing. And now the most recent 20, 30 years of craziness that we couldn’t even imagine back in the day when we were sitting around reading a book in the afternoon, instead of getting hit with dings and buzzes. So it seems to me, you know, my main focus is creating content, writing books, producing a podcast, things like that, but there’s so much distractibility and potential for entertainment and diversion. Brad (31m 40s): It seems like the, the environment’s really tough right now to, to lock into that powerful mindset. John (31m 45s): Yeah. I mean the, the environment is a lot more stimuli. You know, there’s a, there’s a lot more distractions. There’s a lot more people that are vying for our attention, whether it’s, you know, social media ads texting us, you know, praising media on television, polarization, addictive games that we’re playing on our apps that are all based in neuroscience. John (32m 15s): And so all the more reason for every one of us to deliberately and consciously evolve ourselves so that these distractions don’t control us, we control the distractions. So let’s go back to processes. Do you have a process? Do you have a habit of allowing distractions to run your life? Or do you have a process and a habit for not allowing that to happen? John (32m 50s): Right. And so deliberate conscious evolution is really where the game is at right now. And we have to have a higher degree of self discipline and self regulation than we have ever had in the history of our species. And we also have more knowledge and many more tools to help us do that. So that means if the person who is going to be more self-disciplined, they’re going to be able to master their domain. John (33m 21s): And you probably know the same from Jim Rohn many years ago, it says in life, you’re either going to pay the price of discipline, or you’re going to pay the price of regret. Discipline weighs, ounces, regret weighs tons. And so this is an opportunity, right? To level up your mental and emotional skills. And since we’re dealing with a trillion dollar brain that you already own, and we’re getting the user’s manual for it, either you’re going to choose to level up your skills, or you’re going to choose to be a victim of not doing that. John (33m 55s): It’s your choice. That’s where awareness comes in, right? And it’s an awareness that you have choice and you can either say, well, look, what’s happening over there. Look, what’s happening on social media. Look, what’s happening on television, radio, and all that stuff where you can say, wait, because of that, I’m going to gain more self control, self awareness, and I’m going to be more deliberate in what I do. I let everybody else not figure this out, but I’m going to be somebody who figures this out because I can, Brad (34m 23s): Well, you just blew my excuse out of the water man. Good job. I love that we have all the technology too, to go beyond rather than, rather than succumb. I’m also seeing a pattern and I’m not gonna, I’m not gonna exclude myself from the, from the list here, but sometimes these distractions and diversions give us a payoff of instant gratification. So I decided to, you know, I announced that I want to lose excess body fat and go on a diet. Brad (34m 53s): I’m all strategized. I’m going to do it. And then on a certain day, I decided that a bowl of popcorn and sitting there watching binge watching a series on Netflix is more alluring than sticking to my habits and my programming. And I wonder, well, one way you would have to say about that? I guess there’s some balance. There’s something to be said for busting loose once in a while and not being a peak performer. But I think, yeah, I mean, I, I also referenced, you know, there’s some inner pain and suffering that we should embrace and recognize when we’re talking out one side of their mouth that we love hot dogs, Apple pie, and fireworks, and sitting on the lawn chair for eight hours. Brad (35m 32s): And then the other side is going, wow, why do I have 33% body fat and 234 Pounds? I’m putting it on you. Cause I want to hear the story of how you’ve evolved from someone who obviously you let yourself go and didn’t have a lot of things in place, especially your body, which is number one. John (35m 48s): Yeah. So on my 48th birthday, I went to get my annual physical and, you know, got on the scale. And then I went to my doctor, came in for our two hour annual physical and he says, wow, you gained another, you know, like 11 pounds this year. And, and at that time I was drinking way too much wine. Every single night I was eating dessert every night I was working out every morning, tired, exhausted, I’ve got sleep apnea. John (36m 22s): My blood results came back with, you know, borderline my blood pressure was borderline hypertensive, way too much sugar in my blood. So borderline diabetic, overweight, exhausted, not being able to ski with my children or have as much fun as I want to with my children. You know, sore knees, inflamed, everything feeling less than stellar. And he said to me, he says, Hey, do you know, do you want to go on hypertensive medicine? Do you want to go on a, you know, a medication for your blood sugar? John (36m 54s): And I said, no, dammit, I’m going to, I’m going to apply everything I’ve learned about business success, financial success, relationships. I’m gonna to apply it. And I’m gonna get into the best shape of my adult life by the time I’m 50. And so I put myself on a slow path to 50, not a fast path and knowing what I know about habits and behavior and changing the habitual thinking and emotions and behaviors. John (37m 24s): I put myself on a, a diet, an exercise regimen. I hired a coach, a nutritionist, and I put together an environment that fostered my wellbeing. I gave up drinking alcohol. So I haven’t had a drink in 12 years now. I got into the best shape of my life. By the time I was 50, I weighed 197 pounds felt great. Then about a couple of years later, I became a vegan. And I want to just share something with you about vegan. John (37m 55s): I also, I used to be a sugar holic as well. So I would have like desserts every night. And I realized that the sugar was affecting my leptin levels. That affecting my fact, I was affecting all that stuff. And again, this stuff that I had to learn. And so I gave up sugar as well with one exception every once in a while, I’ll have a carrot cake, even though I’m vegan, I’ll have a crispy chocolate chip cookie, even though I’m vegan to give myself a bit of that break every once in a while. But then I get right back on, you know, the proper nutrition and exercise program that sustains my health and wellbeing. John (38m 34s): But what I did is I took two years to get to a baseline and then I created a plan to sustain. So instead of saying, I’m going to lose the weight in 90 days, I said, how do I lose fat, not weight fat in a healthy way so that I can sustain it. And the answer for me was I had to change my lifestyle and then the diet would fall out to make a commitment and the type of life and energy and vitality and relationships that I want to have with my children and my wife, et cetera. John (39m 8s): And then I chose what’s the right exercise program for me, for what I love, what’s the right eating plan for me so that I could feel fulfilled and feel energetic, et cetera. So it wasn’t about a diet. It was about making a lifestyle change Brad (39m 25s): With the coaches, trainers nutritionists. So once again, you set up this environment for success and probably some accountability too, like heading to the appointment with the trainer, they’re waiting for you at the gym. You’re probably going to get a workout in that day. John (39m 37s): Yeah. I had actually a trainer come to my house six days a week for a year, days a week for a year and some mornings because I had sleep apnea some mornings I literally would be laying on the floor and they would just be moving my body because I was too tired to exercise. But because I wanted to develop the commitment and the habit, I was willing to pay for somebody to show up so that I would show up because left to my own devices and my own mindset back then, I would just say, ah, just stay in bed for another hour or two. John (40m 16s): But by having somebody at my house at 6:30 six days a week, Sunday was my day off. Then I go for a walk. I developed the habit of exercise or movement initially in order to develop the habit where I could do a little bit more intense work. And so I was committed to the outcome though, that was, you know, I wasn’t just interested in the outcome. I was committed to the outcome and I wanted to, you know, I set a goal to teach my children’s children when they were like, they’re 23 and 25 now. John (40m 47s): So, and they were like, you know, 10, 11 years old. I said, I will teach your children how to ski or snowboard. When they were 10 and 12 years old or 11 and 13. I said, I’m going to get into the best shape of my adult life and I’m going to sustain it so that when you have kids in 15 or 20 years, I will teach them how to ski or board, which is one of our family activities that we love. And I’ve held up my step at the bargain. I told my kids, I’ll get you into great shape when you’re young, you keep me in great shape. As I get older, Brad (41m 19s): I love it. That reminds me of my journey, coaching my son in all the sports and, you know, starting in third grade, my goal was to bring the heat to these guys. And so I was the MVP of every team all through the years, just dominating and basketball, soccer, track. Oh, show him these guys, how it’s done. And then around ninth or 10th grade, I became like the bench warmer and then kicked off the edge of the bench. But, you know, the journey of having something to, you know, to, to, to exchange and to, you know, make a contribution and set an example as a participatory coach, those were great motivators. Brad (41m 53s): And I’m, I’m hearing a little bit from the peanut gallery where they’re gonna have a reflective answer. Like, well, that’s nice, but I can’t afford to have a trainer come to my house every day, but there’s so many ways to set up accountability. So I wanted to put a little plug in there. Like if you can get out the door and take a walk and text your friend, I walked again today. That’s the same as John Assara having his fancy trainer come in and get him up out of bed. So let’s, let’s, you know, keep, keep the perspective here that setting these things up is very, very simpleThey have apps now where you can donate $30. Brad (42m 27s): And if you don’t complete your workout for the month, you owe it to your friend’s favorite charity and all that kind of fun stuff. John (42m 35s): Yeah. We can, you know, we can all have stories and excuses or we can have results, right. And so what are you most committed to the stories and excuses and reasons and circumstances, or are you committed to achieving the results that you want? Because you know, a lot of my clients, even though many of them cannot afford a trainer for one day, let alone, for six days, they can create accountability partnerships. They can find a friend, a husband, a wife, a child, a neighbor, somebody that’s willing to do it with them because they also have the goal. John (43m 11s): And when we create partnerships of accountability, when we create processes and systems of how we can, and we focus on how we can, because we want to, and we must versus why we can’t, because of all the obstacles that goes back into, if you’re going to allow your stories, your reasons, your excuses, or your beliefs to control your thinking, you’re going to be a victim of that thinking, instead of being somebody who figures out, how can I, that’s the cutting edge? John (43m 44s): That’s the bleeding edge. That’s the razor’s edge between those who achieve their goals. And those are second half goals. Brad (43m 55s): Those who set and have goals, raise your hand if you said it ” I have goals.” Wonderful. Congratulations. And then we go to the group who achieves them. Wow. Yeah. I’d love to be in both categories of setting goals and then achieving them. So I’m, I’m curious back to the, the, the big guy that likes to drink wine and eat sugar and went to the doctor. So it sounds like you had this, this, this trigger point in your life, which many people do they, they get the, the dire warning from the doctor and then that’s, that was the impetus for turning around. Brad (44m 27s): So do these things exist for all of us where we can have these turning these forks in the road where we’re either going to make it happen or not? John (44m 36s): Yeah. And, you know, unfortunate. Fortunately for me, you know, I caught a destructive pattern before it had major implications on my life. So I caught up because, you know, I went to the doctor, I listened and I said, okay, you know, and I, and I remember having this visual Brad of say, okay, imagine that I’m on a train and I’m on a certain track and I’m heading in a certain direction. Where is this heading? Brad (45m 11s): Let me explain. John (45m 12s): Yeah. It was getting towards, you know, obesity, heart attack, hypertension, you know, drugs to me, you know, to help with all this stuff. And I was like, no fucking way, do I want to go there? I was like, no way, am I going to stay on this train on this track, heading to that? Brad (45m 31s): Yeah. The, the first stop is CVS. Cause we gotta get all your pills before we can go anywhere. John (45m 36s): Yes. I just said no way. I refuse to make that my reality. And so that was the first thing is just the awareness of what I was not willing to accept. Okay. And we can do that in our health, wealth, relationships, career business. We can do that on every one of the fronts that we play on. Right. And that’s every area of our life. And so you have to ask yourself, you know, where am I heading? How fast am I going there? John (46m 7s): And is the destination acceptable to me? If the answer is yes, good pick up speed, go faster. If the answer is no way Stop, stop and ask yourself what has to happen in order for me to turn around, get on a different train and go in a different direction. What has to happen? What has to happen in my mindset? John (46m 38s): What has to happen in my emotional management? What has to happen in my skillset? What tools do I need? What resource do I need, whose help can I listen to what, what can I read? What program can I enroll in? What coach can I have? What accountability partner can help me. So once I make a decision that that’s not acceptable, and I asked myself empowering questions, and then I get the answers and take some small actions towards those. John (47m 9s): When I do that, now I’m back to being empowered versus disempowered. Now I’m back to constructing deliberately constructing my life and my results versus being a victim of circumstance or my habits that may be disruptive. And so now I’m stepping back into my power and I want to make sure for me, and for all of my students that were at choice, we’re at choice instead of reacting and playing out your habits day in and day out, you’re at the choice, creating your outcome and your future instead of being a victim of circumstances or your habits love it, man. Brad (47m 47s): I’m, I’m, I’m setting a record for most notes taken during a podcast. And I hope that listeners is with me and fired up. I feel like you’re, you’re Tony Robbins without all the hype and the excess. You’re just cutting to the chase without, I mean, it’s penetrating deep. I love this. And I have one question coming up where you’re back in the, in the doctor’s office, realizing that you’ve let your physical health go and you resolve to apply the same skills that you had with business, moneymaking and all that to your health goals. Brad (48m 21s): So you were excelling in certain areas of life and then other areas had been neglected. And I’m looking at my scoreboard, my checkbox, right? I mean, I was an athlete. I had these fitness things that were wonderful. And, and, but then, you know, how’s your finances, how’s your portfolio. And I would have to put a big fat frowny face on things and then sit back and ask myself, well, gee, you know, if I can train this hard to, to win a race on the pro circuit, why don’t I have my whole game on A plus level? Brad (48m 53s): And so maybe we can kinda cover that topic of how to leverage, cause almost everyone’s successful in a few categories, right? John (48m 56s): Yeah, absolutely. You know, whenever I take a look, we asked him like, what’s your net worth, right? It is, you know, your assets, less your liabilities. But if we’re going to say, you know, what’s your net worth is financially? What’s your net worth, you know, with your health? Are you, you know, are you positive or are you in a deficit? What’s your net worth with your relationships? John (49m 28s): Whether it’s with your children, your mother, father, sister, brother, friends, what’s your net worth? You know how well your business doing it? Let’s, let’s, let’s analyze and put a net worth though. All of our life just versus one area. Now, if you’ve achieved any level of discipline and positive net worth in one area, that discipline and process is transferable, right? So whenever I speak to, you know, whether it’s an athlete, that’s achieved some success being an athlete. John (50m 2s): I asked him or her, how did you think about your athletic endeavors, whether it was running or biking or swimming or basketball or football or golf, did you have any goals for that? Did you come up with a plan for how you were going to get better? What did you do with setbacks? What did you do to upgrade your knowledge and skills? Who did you hang around? Did you have a process that you, that you could look at to go here? John (50m 33s): Here’s how I became successful here. And then I would say, great. Are you doing that in this area of your life? And 99 times out of a hundred the answer is No. Not to the level that I’m doing is here. I said, okay, so you know what to do. You’re just not doing it here. So what if you applied the same level of focus, discipline, attention, and intention to this? Could you learn how to make money since there’s more than enough money, you know, on planet earth, could you learn how to manage it better? John (51m 9s): So if you made a dollar, could you learn how to manage that dollar? So you have enough for your expenses. You have enough for charity, have enough to invest. Of course you could learn that. Could you learn, you know how to protect it. Once you build some assets, how do you protect your business or your stock portfolio or your real estate portfolio? You don’t want to come off. Could you learn how to do it? Well, yes I can. Right? Could you learn how to use debt as leverage? And could you learn some techniques to get out of debt faster if you don’t know them right down there? John (51m 40s): A.nd everybody says, well, yeah, I could learn that if I want it to great. So the question now is, are you interested in learning it or are you committed? Are you interested? Because if you’re going to do what’s easy and convenient, but if you’re committed, you do whatever it takes. And so if you’re not committed, fuck having that as an intention and a goal, cause you’re not going to achieve it. So stop jerking around with yourself and hallucinating that magically it’s going to happen. It won’t. Like end that story. Now open prayer, okay. John (52m 11s): Is not a great strategy and the drug of choice for most people’s hopium, you know, where they’re hoping, hoping, hoping, hoping, hoping something changes, nothing will change until you change. And so just have a dose of reality and get committed to an outcome because all of the house, every single house that you want is already here. So the house is not your problem, the knowledge and skills or lack of them as not your problem. John (52m 42s): The problem is making a commitment to the outcome you want, and then already following the, how that exists. Brad (52m 50s): I’m I’m experiencing myself open to this message. And I’m wondering you pretty much have to be open or you’re going to be wasting your breath. You probably have chosen or figured out how to leave the person alone in the airplane seat if they, if they’re not receptive out of the gate. And I’m just wondering how, how this plays out in real life with such as friends, family members, you know, people that you love and care for that could probably use a little John Assara right now in this area of their lives. Brad (53m 23s): But as a mentor and a leader, all that, how do you, how do you dispense your information in real life? John (53m 26s): So I learned, I learned this a long time ago, Brad, and this is a pearl of wisdom. Are you ready? Brad (53m 34s): Ready? John (53m 34s): I am not in the convincing business. Period. End of story. If what I share with people resonates of truth and resonates of where they are in their lives that they’d like to, you know, learn more. I welcome, you know, I welcome you into the space, into the orbit, into making progress. If you’re just supposed to listen to it and you know, just do something else, do that. John (54m 7s): But I am not here to convince you, you know, a lot of times I just say, I like to observe people who’ve achieved what I want to achieve. And then I ask, how did they do that? I know. How did they think, how did they manage their emotions? What did they learn? What did they read? What did they do? How did they plan? How did they strategize? So that I can mimic and mirror their results. And I have my blueprints, I have my blueprints for health and wealth relationships, career and businesses, finances and fun, and the stuff that makes my life worthwhile living for me. John (54m 47s): Now, if anybody wants my blueprints, if anybody wants to surround themselves in the environment so that they can at least have a starting point and a process, the. I welcome them. And if they don’t, I love them and say, great. Find whatever resonates with you, but it’s gotta be hard to convince people to listen to my music. If they resonate with the music I’m singing, then wonderful sing along. Brad (55m 13s): And that’s gotta be tough at times. John (55m 18s): No, Brad (55m 18s): You’re okay? John (55m 18s): Yes. You’re like, you’re letting go of the attachment to the outcome. I’m not responsible for you. I’m responsible to you. Brad (55m 30s): And we talk about parenting now ?nd then on the show, I think it’s an important topic. So, you know, as your kids read different ages and different checkpoints now they’re, they’re adults. Have you kind of revised your parenting style to have more or less impact or inject some important things into the mix, whether they like it or not? They’re living with you, your house, under your control. I imagine there’s some different dynamics there? John (55m 53s): So my kids are 25 and 23 now. And so they, they live with their friends. I talk to them almost every single day. See them every week and everything that I have, you know, learned and taught them when they were younger, they’re out exploring and experiencing some things they’re doing the way I would, other things they’re not, and that’s the way they’re going to learn. John (56m 23s): And so I’m in a state of observation without judgment or blame or shame or guilt. And they know I love them unconditionally and care about them and here to support them and love them and guide them. And if they don’t follow my thoughts or ideas, I’m okay with that. That’s how they’re going to learn. And so I’m letting them be them. And The thing. One of the thing by a hierarchy of operating in the world is. John (56m 55s): Before I existed, there were about 107 billion humans that walked on earth or up until now anyway. And the universe is pretty intelligent and the intelligence in every human being is so unbelievable that I trust that. And so, you know, I, I did as much as I could with love for and with my children. And now it’s their turn to apply and learn and make mistakes and succeed and figure everything out and to share their lives with me and as little or as much detail as they like. John (57m 35s): And I’m totally cool with that. Brad (57m 37s): Love it, man. Well said, thank you very nice. Tell us about how you work with clients. You’ve mentioned that many times, what’s your operation? John (57m 46s): Sure. So my neurogym.com is a company that I developed and we have some coaching programs. We have a coaching protocol, exceptional life coaching. That’s a year long program at 297 bucks a year for 72 live trainings. We have some brain training programs. What do the game of money winning in the fear and procrastination. We within a weight loss, a waiting game of business, which is brain training programs and knowledge and skills videos, and the people get access to our community. John (58m 18s): I do a one on one consulting with, with individuals, which is very, very high end consulting, which is out of most people’s range. And so a variety of different programs and services. I do some keynotes, not very much around the world. I used to do it around the world. Now it’s mostly my, you know, and so that’s, that’s how we work. Brad (58m 43s): Tell us about this, this movie scene. You’ve been in a bunch, John (58m 47s): Two movies. I was in one of the smashed blockbusters The Secret many years ago, Brad (58m 56s): Being yourself? You were life coaching the people, or what were you doing in there? John (59m 0s): It was, there was more of a story around the vision boards and creating, you know, vision board. And I created my vision board with a house that I wanted and ended up living, buying and living the house that was on the vision board many years earlier, which was a bizarre story. I didn’t know where the house was when I cut it out of a magazine. I just used to visualize it every day when I used to live in Toronto, Canada and Amstar, Indiana. And then five years later, I ended up buying the house in San Diego and didn’t even know that I bought it. John (59m 35s): And so that story made it into the movie, the secret. And, and so that was one, one of the movies I was in and then just a bunch of personal development movies, whether it was with Richard Branson and the Dalai Lama, you know, or a variety of other movies just on personal development. So, you know, stories, processes, systems very similar to, you know, this podcast where you’re asking me a bunch of questions and I answer them. Those movies were very, very similar. Brad (1h 0m 3s): Well, I was going to ask you what you think of this hip new trend of manifesting and, and making vision boards. And I, I think you kind of answered that. There’s something to it. I’ve, I’ve sort of, I have to admit, I’ve kind of discounted this stuff for a long time. Maybe it goes the, the picture that some people paint that you, you know, you dream that your, your ideal, man’s got a trim beard and he flies in a private jet and gets out and gets into his Ferrari. And it seemed kind of silly looking from an outside. Brad (1h 0m 34s): But now I’ve had some guests On the show they’ve talked about that This thing works. And boy, you, you bought the, You bought the house, you cut out of a magazine and didn’t know it. I don’t know. I think I’ve ever heard anything top that man. John (1h 0m 49s): Yeah. And, and so there was in the movie, The Secret we talked about, you know, this thing called the Law of Attraction and most people misunderstand what this Law of Attraction is. And they forget that the last six letters of the word attraction is action. And so when you take inspired action and you are in resonance with the vision, the goal, you know, the dream that you have now, we’re in resonance.pYou know, we are molecular structures, right? John (1h 1m 21s): We have a hundred trillion cells in our body that vibrate and oscillate at a certain we’ll call it frequency when that vibration is in resonance with the vision of the goals that you have, and you have the mindset to focus on it, you know, the emotions to be able to resonate with it, but also the behaviors to achieve it. Now we’re able to attract things. Now, what I can’t explain yet, Brad, and I’ve studied a lot of quantum physics and quantum mechanics around how was it possible for me to cut up a picture of a house, put it on a dream board, see it for, you know, every day and visualize it every day. John (1h 2m 3s): And then how did I actually end up buying that house five years later, you know, six, eight years, 325 orange trees on the top of a mountain. How is that possible? That piece I can’t answer from a factual logical piece that is still a mystery of the mind that I don’t know if I’ll ever understand, you know, that at that level, but I can give you my best guess of that, of being in total resonance and harmony with that, that somehow there’s something happening at this quantum field of potentiality that I just resonated with and integrated with on every level I was in, in that flow that every athlete knows, right? John (1h 2m 53s): I was saying I was in flow with that so much that somehow that became a reality. And, but, but again, if you want to go to the scientific explanation of that, which is where I tend to go to, I can’t answer that final little piece of, of how that was possible. If you look at the mathematical possibility of that happening, it’s astronomically against it happening. But it did. And it wasn’t a house like it, it was the, and so that’s still a thing. John (1h 3m 29s): You know, if I had a big, long beard, I’d go things that make me go. And that’s just a lifelong pursuit of being curious to find the answer. Brad (1h 3m 40s): John Assaraf, well done. Amazing show. We’re going to go get the book Innercise, the new science to unlock your brain’s hidden power. And then tell us about the website again, your training. John (1h 3m 51s): Great. So they don’t go to myneurogym.com, myneurogym.com. If they want to find out a little bit about a brain training event that we have called the brain-a-thon, just go to brain-a-thon one, two, three.com. Brain-a-thon one two three.com. Brad (1h 4m 10s): John Assaraf. Thanks for listening everybody. That’s a wrap. Go take some action. Now. Thank you for listening to the show. We would love your feedback at getoveryourselfpodcast@gmail.com. And we would also love if you could leave a rating and a review on iTunes or wherever you listen to podcasts, I know it’s a hassle. You have to go to desktop iTunes, click on the tab that says ratings and reviews, and then click to rate the show anywhere from five to five stars. Brad (1h 4m 42s): And it really helps spread the word so more people can find the show and get over themselves because they need to thanks for doing it.
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